Translator P. Samsonov

Editor R. Piscotina

Project Scientific Supervisor M. Ilyin

Technical editor N. Lisitsyna

Project Manager N. Laufer

Corrector V. Muratkhanov

Computer layout A. Abramov

Cover artist E. Shatalova

© 1994 FranklinCovey Company

© Edition in Russian, translation, design. Alpina Business Books LLC, 2008

© Electronic edition. Alpina Publisher LLC, 2011

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic copy of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Thanks

We are grateful and express our deep respect to all those wonderful people who made this project possible:

● those whose lives and works have brought to us the wisdom of the ages. Your legacy has taught us a lot.

● our colleagues, clients and workshop participants, whose active collaboration allowed us to take our thinking to a new level.

● Covey Leadership Center staff for their enthusiasm and contribution to our overall success.

● Bob Asahina of Simon & Schuster for his patience, insight, and valuable guidance.

● to all those who worked on the book "The main focus on the main things" for their significant contribution. They are Boyd Craig, Greg Link, Tony Harris, Adam Merrill and Ken Shelton. In many difficult situations they demonstrated firmness of character and competence, that is, those qualities that we have tried to write about here.

● and most importantly, our families and the families of all our employees for their love and support. Thank you for helping us understand what is “important” for us and why.

Introduction

Where is the solution if not to work harder, smarter and faster?

If you seriously thought about the main thing in your life - about three or four things that have for you highest value, what would you call it?

Are you giving these things the attention and time that you would really like to give them?

At the Covey Leadership Center, we connect with many people around the world. These are active, hardworking, competent people who are dedicated to their work and strive to make our world a better place. However, these people constantly tell us about the incredible difficulties they face in Everyday life trying to focus on the really important things. And the fact that you paid attention to this book suggests that you probably share their feelings.

Why does it happen that we do not do the most important thing for ourselves in the first place? For many years we have been taught methods, practical techniques, supplied with information on how to effectively manage and control our lives. We are told that if we work even harder, if we learn how to do as many things as quickly as possible, if we use some new technique or tools, if we organize our life in a special way, then we will definitely be able to achieve what we want. And we buy new organizers, attend regular classes, read new books. We learn, we apply what we have learned in practice, we try again and again - and what happens? Most of the people we encounter feel nothing but frustration and guilt.

● I don't have enough time!

● I would like more joy in life. I spin like a squirrel in a wheel and never have time for myself.

● My friends and family want me to pay more attention to them, but how can I do that?

● I am constantly in time trouble because I always put everything off until the last minute, and this happens because I am always in time trouble.

● I can't strike a balance between personal life and work. It seems that I always do one at the expense of the other, and this only aggravates the situation.

● Stress is simply unbearable!

● I have many things to do, and they are all important. How to choose the main?

The traditional approach to time management assumes that by being more efficient, you will eventually gain control of your life, and that more control will bring you the peace of mind and satisfaction you seek.

We do not agree with this.

Building happiness on the ability to control everything is ridiculous. Although we do determine the choice of our actions, we cannot control their consequences. This is what universal laws or principles do. So our lives are out of control us, she obeys principles. We believe that it is this idea that makes it possible to understand the source of the frustration of people with traditional views on time management.

In this book, we present a completely different approach to time management. This is a principle-centric approach. It goes beyond traditional prescriptions to do faster, harder, smarter and more. It offers not just another chronometer, but a compass, because it is much more important to understand where you are going than how fast.

On the one hand, this is a new approach; on the other hand, it is very old. It is rooted in classic ageless principles, in stark contrast to the approach to life taken in the contemporary literature on time management and success, with its advocacy of quick fixes and well-being without effort. We live in a society that prefers shortcuts, but a high quality of life doesn't come easy.

There are no shortcuts. But there is a way. This is the true path through principles that have been proven throughout the history of mankind. If one can judge what makes a person's life meaningful by drawing from the source of the wisdom of the ages, then it is not a matter of speed or productivity. The essence of what you do and the reason you do it is much more important than the speed with which you do it.

We want to tell you what to expect from this book:

● In the first section, Clock and Compass, we explore the familiar gap between what we spend most of our time on and what is truly important to us. We will describe three "generations" of traditional time management, including the modern paradigm of productivity and control, and discuss why the traditional "only hours" approach widens the aforementioned gap rather than narrowing it. We will talk about the need for a new level of thinking - about the fourth "generation", a completely different approach. We will convince you to understand how you are wasting your time – on things that are just urgent or things that are really important to you, and we will also consider the consequences of the harmful “dependence on urgency”. Finally, we'll look at "the essentials"—our basic human needs and ability to live, love, learn, and leave a legacy—and how to prioritize what's essential by using our inner compass to align our lives with the "true north" realities that define quality of life.

● In the second section, Keeping the Important Important, we present the Quadrant II Organizing Process, a procedure that takes half an hour a week to align the clock with a compass, allowing us to shift our focus from the urgent to the important. We will first go through the entire process to help you visualize its obvious benefits, and then explore each part of the process so you can see how it can enrich your life over time. You will learn:

– how to define your mission and create a mobilizing vision of the future that will fill your life with meaning and become in fact the DNA of your life;

The main focus is on the main things. Live, love, learn and leave a legacy Roger Merrill, Stephen Covey, Rebecca Merrill

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Title: The main attention is on the main things. Live, love, learn and leave a legacy
Author: Roger Merrill, Stephen Covey, Rebecca Merrill
Year: 1994
Genre: Foreign business literature, Popular about business, Social Psychology, Management, recruitment

About the book “The main attention is on the main things. Live, love, learn and leave a legacy" Roger Merrill, Stephen Covey, Rebecca Merrill

This work has three authors. Stephen Covey, like his colleague Roger Merrill, is a real authority on time management and competent leadership of people, the author of the world-famous work "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". Rebecca Merrill leads many public organizations and knows about the issues raised in the book “The main focus is on the main things” from his own experience.

This work will help to understand why so often there is a huge difference between what we do and what really matters. We strive for productive time management, but very often this brings neither results nor satisfaction. The book “Priority to the main things” debunks the usual approach to the division of time: work more and faster. Instead of the usual hours, a group of writers offers readers a guide, since choosing the direction of the path is much more important than increasing the speed of movement.

The authors deepen and develop the ideas of the bestseller "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", ruthlessly criticizing the very nature of classical time management. Their original approaches to the distribution of time provide an opportunity to get rid of the constant haste caused by dependence on urgency.

The concept of time distribution, which the authors of this work offer, allows you to completely change the attitude towards what you are doing. Think about how often we choose the next pile of work cases, and not such important points with loved ones. As a result, we feel guilty about things we didn't do. This feeling prevents us from enjoying what we have done. According to the authors, the realization of this discrepancy can become a real drama. You will understand what you gave up by paying more attention to your career, and not to strengthening relationships with loved ones.

The authors offer an original and effective concept of time management, built on the awareness of importance, not urgency, as we are used to. The test in the book will help you determine if urgency has become something of an addiction for you. If this happened, it's time to change your life for the better.

The book “The main attention is to the main things. To Live, Love, Learn and Leave a Legacy” is for anyone who is trying to figure out what to spend time in life in order to make it complete and happy.

On our site about books, you can download the site for free without registration or read online book“The main focus is on the main things. Live, love, learn and leave a legacy” by Roger Merrill, Stephen Covey, Rebecca Merrill in epub, fb2, txt, rtf, pdf formats for iPad, iPhone, Android and Kindle. The book will give you a lot of pleasant moments and a real pleasure to read. Buy full version you can have our partner. Also, here you will find the latest news from the literary world, learn the biography of your favorite authors. For beginner writers there is a separate section with useful tips and recommendations, interesting articles, thanks to which you yourself can try your hand at writing.

Quotes from the book “The main attention is on the main things. Live, love, learn and leave a legacy" Roger Merrill, Stephen Covey, Rebecca Merrill

Pride is the quintessential scarcity mentality.

CHARACTERISTICS OF PRINCIPLE-CENTERED PEOPLE.

The antidote to pride is humility, the realization that you are not isolated, that the quality of your life is inseparable from the quality of life of other people, that the meaning of life is not in consumption and competition, but in the contribution that you make. We cannot be our own law, and the more we value principles and other people, the more peace we gain.

annotation

How to organize your time so that everything is in time? The recipe of the authors seems paradoxical: not everything needs to be done in time. What's the point of climbing up the ladder of success as quickly as possible if it's up against the wrong wall? Developing the ideas of the famous bestseller "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", the authors declare the old concepts and time management tools untenable. They offer truly revolutionary approaches to time management, helping to overcome drug addiction from urgency and to do the most important things first.

Introduction

Section I. Clock and compass

Chapter 1. Do many people regret on their deathbed that they spent little time on work?

Three generations of time management

3rd generation paradigms

Chapter 2

Importance

Chapter 3

inner fire

What principles are

The Potential of the Four Human Gifts

Nourish Self Consciousness

Strengthen your independent will

Section II. The main thing is that the main thing remains the main thing

Chapter 4 Organization of Quadrant II

Define your roles

Set Starting Points

Show Wholeness

Chapter 5

Penetration deep into the inner life

From mission to life

Chapter 6

Three paradigms that strengthen balance

Quadrant II organization strengthens balance

Chapter 7

Use of unique human gifts

How to set principle-centric goals

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

How to implement this choice

enlightenment of the heart

What gives life according to conscience

Chapter 10

Section III. Synergy of interdependence

Chapter 11

The paradigm of interdependence

Redefining Importance

Chapter 12

Passion for a shared vision

Mutually beneficial liability agreements

What if there is no consent?

But what if the differences are insurmountable?

Chapter 13

Refresh yourself with "Lunch for Champions"

Become a Servant Leader

This all sounds very nice, but...

What if the situation changes?

Section IV. The Strength and Harmony of a Principle-Centered Lifestyle

Chapter 14

Sunday morning in the family

Chapter 15

The main attention to the main things brings harmony

Two foreshadowing stones

Characteristics of principle-centered people

turning points

If you want to change the world, start with yourself

Appendix A: Working on a mission statement

Appendix B. Literature review on time management

"Magic Tool"

Appendix B. Wisdom Literature

How, going to bed, be sure that you did the most important thing today? What is a sense of life? And is there one answer to this question? How to choose true goals and abandon false ones? Why does constant employment prevent you from doing the most important thing in life? How can promises to others and to yourself ruin everything? Stephen Covey answers these questions and more in his book Focus on the Big Things. Selected quotes from the book are in this post.

Prepared material: Hope Nazaryan

Let go of control

“Building happiness on the ability to control everything is ridiculous. Although we do determine the choice of our actions, we cannot control their consequences. This is what universal laws or principles do. Thus, our life is not subject to us, it is subject to principles. We believe that it is this idea that allows us to understand the source of the frustration of people with traditional views on time management.”

Find contradictions

“Our inner struggle to prioritize what matters most can be described as a struggle between the two tools that guide us along our path: the clock and the compass. Watches represent our obligations, business meetings, plans, goals, specific cases - what we are dealing with and how we manage our time. The compass, on the other hand, represents our vision, values, principles, mission, conscience, direction - what seems to us the main thing, and how we manage our lives. The struggle begins when we feel a contradiction between the clock and the compass, when our activities do not contribute to what we consider the main thing in life.

Values ​​that change the quality of life

“Our values ​​guide our decisions and actions. But many different things can be valued - love, security, big house, bank account, social status, recognition, fame. Not everything we value improves the quality of our lives. When our values ​​contradict the natural laws on which both peace in the soul and the quality of life depend, we build our lives on illusions and doom ourselves to failure.”

“One thing is for sure: if we continue to do what we do, we will continue to get what we get. “Keep doing the same thing and expect different results” is a symptom of a mental breakdown.

obsession with affairs

“When resolving urgent and important problems, we feel a temporary uplift. And then, when there is nothing important anymore, we are held by urgency. We grab onto any urgent business, just to stay in motion. People expect efficiency and workload from us. It has become a symbol of social status - if we are in business, then we are important to society; if we are not too busy, we are embarrassed to admit it. In business, we derive a sense of security. It amuses our pride, justifies our existence, exalts us in the eyes of others. It’s also a good reason not to do the most important things in life.”

Live, love, learn and leave a legacy

“There are things without which the self-realization of a person is impossible. If these basic needs are not met, we feel empty and incomplete. We can try to fill this void with the drug of urgency. Or complacently be content with the partial realization of their thoughts. The essence of these needs can be expressed as follows: “to live, love, learn and leave a legacy.
Any of these needs, if unsatisfied, becomes black hole, which absorbs all your energy and attention.

The meaning of life is useful

“We fall into the web of illusions that society sets up for us, convincing us that the meaning of life is in our own “I” - in self-respect, self-improvement - “this is what I want”, “let me decide for myself”, “I did it’s in its own way”, etc. But over the millennia, the literature of wisdom has confirmed the truth again and again: the highest satisfaction of a person makes it possible to effectively help others. Quality of life is an "inside-out" process. The meaning of life is in the benefit that you bring when you live for something higher, and not for your own sake. And just as the Dead Sea - a stagnant swamp in which there is no life - differs from the Mediterranean Sea, the waters of which irrigate the life that flourishes around it, so the results of illusion and reality differ.

Create the future

“Try not to break promises and therefore do not take on excessive obligations. Constantly analyze the reality in which you are, and, based on this analysis, move on, saying to yourself: "I will do it" - and then achieve it at any cost.

“The best way to predict your future is to create it. You can use the same power creative imagination, which allows you to see the goal before you reach it, or plan to achieve it, in order to significantly improve the quality of life before it occurs.

Influence the lives of others

“Responsibility cannot be avoided. One way or another, we are responsible for the impact that our lives have on others. How we manage everything we have - money, property, talents, even time - depends on the legacy that we leave behind our descendants. And whatever our scenarios, we are able to realize our unique gifts and choose for ourselves what we want to be responsible for. We must not pass on debts, depleted natural resources, selfishness or illusions to future generations. We can very well pass on to them a healthy environment, well-kept property, a sense of responsibility, a legacy of principled values. In doing so, we improve the quality of life both now and in the future.”

Why Goals Are Not Achieved

“We are not achieving our goals for many reasons. Sometimes the goals themselves are unrealistic. Our expectations sometimes have nothing to do with self-esteem. A typical example is New Year's resolutions. For some reason, we hope that we will change our diet, start playing sports, treat others differently just because December 31 in the calendar has changed to January 1. It's like expecting your infant in one day he will learn to crawl, and eat with a fork, and drive a car. Our goals are based on illusions, having nothing to do with self-awareness or the principles of natural growth.

Sometimes we set goals and work to achieve them, but either circumstances change or we ourselves change. Opportunities are opening up, economic shifts are taking place, new person we suddenly change the way we look at things. If at the same time we continue to hold on to our goals, then instead of serving us, goals subdue us. But when we refuse them, we often feel uncomfortable or guilty about not keeping our word to ourselves.

Serious problems can be caused not only by unachieved goals, but sometimes even their achievement. Sometimes goals are achieved at the expense of more important things in our lives. We climb the ladder only to find it's leaning against the wrong wall."

live according to conscience

“Sometimes the wisdom of the heart surpasses the wisdom of the mind. We may not have direct knowledge or experience, doing what we see fit. However, we know it's right, we know it will work. When we learn to listen to our conscience and live according to our conscience, much of what it teaches us is transferred through our experience into the structure of knowledge. We learn to find the cause of all things in our thoughts, and not to be lost in conjecture. Wisdom means learning everything you can, but at the same time understanding that we cannot know everything. This is why it is so important to ask your conscience to remain whole in the moment of choice.

Even in the most stressful moments of life, it seems to us that it is easier to live with questions than with answers. As long as there are questions, as long as we remain in doubt, as long as we are waging an internal struggle, we are not responsible for what we do, we are not responsible for the results. Therefore, we prefer to bask for days, weeks, months, years on a feather bed of deliberate lies, invented by us only in order to avoid simple actions that could bring us into harmony with the laws that govern the quality of life.

Just stop playing childish games with yourself. Learn to listen, including your conscience, your own reaction. The moment you feel like saying “yes, but,” correct yourself for “yes, and.” Don't look for excuses. Do not look for rational reasons for refusal. Just do what your conscience tells you to do. Consider every prompting of conscience as an invitation to conform more to the fundamental laws of life. Listen, react... Listen, react...

Get rid of external sources of a sense of security. As long as we find security in the never-ending flow of business, in our profession, in the recognition of our talents, in everything but our sincere commitment to the voice of conscience and principles, we do not give ourselves the opportunity to focus on the main things. It seems to us that dealing with these issues is more important than doing what we really want deep down. Only by getting rid of this attachment to externals, we are really freed and can do what really matters.

character muscle training

“Whenever we think that we are not the problem, that very thought is the problem. We disclaim responsibility. We allow the circumstances and shortcomings of others to control us. We direct our energy to the circle of concerns, to those issues over which we have no control.

Consciously or unconsciously, we expect our lives to run smoothly, without obstacles. As a result, any problem breeds disappointment. She doesn't fit our expectations. But such an expectation is not based on reality. Reaction is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our muscles by overcoming the resistance of sports equipment, we develop the muscles of character by overcoming trials and difficulties.

Translator P. Samsonov

Editor R. Piscotina

Project Scientific Supervisor M. Ilyin

Technical editor N. Lisitsyna

Project Manager N. Laufer

Corrector V. Muratkhanov

Computer layout A. Abramov

Cover artist E. Shatalova

© 1994 FranklinCovey Company

© Edition in Russian, translation, design. Alpina Business Books LLC, 2008

© Electronic edition. Alpina Publisher LLC, 2011

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic copy of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Thanks

We are grateful and express our deep respect to all those wonderful people who made this project possible:

● those whose lives and works have brought to us the wisdom of the ages. Your legacy has taught us a lot.

● our colleagues, clients and workshop participants, whose active collaboration allowed us to take our thinking to a new level.

● Covey Leadership Center staff for their enthusiasm and contribution to our overall success.

● Bob Asahina of Simon & Schuster for his patience, insight, and valuable guidance.

● to all those who worked on the book "The main focus on the main things" for their significant contribution. They are Boyd Craig, Greg Link, Tony Harris, Adam Merrill and Ken Shelton. In many difficult situations, they demonstrated firmness of character and competence, that is, those qualities that we tried to write about here.

● and most importantly, our families and the families of all our employees for their love and support. Thank you for helping us understand what is “important” for us and why.

Introduction

Where is the solution if not to work harder, smarter and faster?


If you seriously thought about the main thing in your life - about the three or four things that matter most to you - what would you name?

Are you giving these things the attention and time that you would really like to give them?

At the Covey Leadership Center, we connect with many people around the world. These are active, hardworking, competent people who are dedicated to their work and strive to make our world a better place. However, these people constantly tell us about the incredible difficulties they face in everyday life, trying to focus on the really important things. And the fact that you paid attention to this book suggests that you probably share their feelings.

Why does it happen that we do not do the most important thing for ourselves in the first place? For many years we have been taught methods, practical techniques, supplied with information on how to effectively manage and control our lives. We are told that if we work even harder, if we learn how to do as many things as quickly as possible, if we use some new technique or tools, if we organize our life in a special way, then we will definitely be able to achieve what we want. And we buy new organizers, attend regular classes, read new books. We learn, we apply what we have learned in practice, we try again and again - and what happens? Most of the people we encounter feel nothing but frustration and guilt.

● I don't have enough time!

● I would like more joy in life. I spin like a squirrel in a wheel and never have time for myself.

● My friends and family want me to pay more attention to them, but how can I do that?

● I am constantly in time trouble because I always put everything off until the last minute, and this happens because I am always in time trouble.

● I can't balance my personal life and work. It seems that I always do one at the expense of the other, and this only aggravates the situation.

● Stress is simply unbearable!

● I have many things to do, and they are all important. How to choose the main?

The traditional approach to time management assumes that by being more efficient, you will eventually gain control of your life, and that more control will bring you the peace of mind and satisfaction you seek.

We do not agree with this.

Building happiness on the ability to control everything is ridiculous. Although we do determine the choice of our actions, we cannot control their consequences. This is what universal laws or principles do. So our lives are out of control us, she obeys principles. We believe that it is this idea that makes it possible to understand the source of the frustration of people with traditional views on time management.

In this book, we present a completely different approach to time management. This is a principle-centric approach. It goes beyond traditional prescriptions to do faster, harder, smarter and more. It offers not just another chronometer, but a compass, because it is much more important to understand where you are going than how fast.

On the one hand, this is a new approach; on the other hand, it is very old. It is rooted in classic ageless principles, in stark contrast to the approach to life taken in the contemporary literature on time management and success, with its advocacy of quick fixes and well-being without effort. We live in a society that prefers shortcuts, but a high quality of life doesn't come easy.

There are no shortcuts. But there is a way. This is the true path through principles that have been proven throughout the history of mankind. If one can judge what makes a person's life meaningful by drawing from the source of the wisdom of the ages, then it is not a matter of speed or productivity. The essence of what you do and the reason you do it is much more important than the speed with which you do it.

We want to tell you what to expect from this book:

● In the first section, Clock and Compass, we explore the familiar gap between what we spend most of our time on and what is truly important to us. We will describe three "generations" of traditional time management, including the modern paradigm of productivity and control, and discuss why the traditional "only hours" approach widens the aforementioned gap rather than narrowing it. We will talk about the need for a new level of thinking - about the fourth "generation", a completely different approach. We will convince you to understand how you are wasting your time – on things that are just urgent or things that are really important to you, and we will also consider the consequences of the harmful “dependence on urgency”. Finally, we'll look at "the essentials"—our basic human needs and ability to live, love, learn, and leave a legacy—and how to prioritize what's essential by using our inner compass to align our lives with the "true north" realities that define quality of life.

● In the second section, Keeping the Important Important, we present the Quadrant II Organizing Process, a procedure that takes half an hour a week to align the clock with a compass, allowing us to shift our focus from the urgent to the important. We will first go through the entire process to help you visualize its obvious benefits, and then explore each part of the process so you can see how it can enrich your life over time. You will learn:

– how to define your mission and create a mobilizing vision of the future that will fill your life with meaning and become in fact the DNA of your life;

– how to achieve balance and synergy between different life roles;

– how to set and achieve principle-centric goals that determine the quality of life;

– how to maintain a perspective that sets you up to “make the most important things”;

- how to show integrity at the moment of choice - wisdom and prudence in order to understand when to follow a pre-set plan and when to change it - in addition, the ability to carry out what you have decided, with confidence in yourself and at peace with yourself;

- how week after week to rise higher and higher along the spiral of knowledge and life.

● In the third section, Interdependence Synergy, we will address the challenges and potential of the interdependent reality in which 80 percent of our time passes, an area that is largely ignored or inadequately addressed by traditional time management methods. We will look at the differences between transactional and transformational types of interaction. Instead of viewing people as objects to be delegated to work, we will learn to create powerful synergies through shared vision and mutually beneficial agreements. We will look at expanding responsibility and authority - shifting the foothold completely - and other methods to help you become a catalyst for change in yourself, in your family or working group.

● In the fourth section, "The Strength and Harmony of a Principle-Centered Lifestyle," we will look at a few examples from real life and discover how the fourth generation approach can literally transform the quality of your daily life and the nature of your activities. At the end of the book, we will focus on the principles inner world and figure out how to avoid the main obstacles on the way to a life filled with meaning and happiness.

To extract maximum benefit from this material, you must be deeply involved in it - be ready to study your life, your motives, your "important". It is a process of deep introspection. We recommend that as you work through this book, you stop often and listen to the voice of your mind and heart. After such in-depth self-knowledge, it is impossible not to change. You will begin to look at the world differently, at your relationships with other people, at your time, at yourself. We are convinced that this book will help you bridge the gap between what is very important to you and what you spend your time on.

We thank you for your willingness to reflect on our ideas of better ways. We have seen from our own experience that the principles set forth in this book bring inner peace and extraordinary results.

The strength of this approach is in the principles.

We are convinced that the book will help you get rid of the tyranny of the clock and discover the compass in yourself. This compass will help you live, love, learn and leave behind a significant legacy...

Section I
Clock and compass

Stephen. Once I had a conversation with my daughter Maria, who recently gave birth to her third child. She said, "It's so hard for me, dad! You know how much I love the baby, but he takes all my time. I just can't do anything else, including things that only I can do."

I understood her feelings. Maria is a smart and capable person and has always had a wide range of interests. She was literally torn - she wanted to do so much.

After talking, we came to understand that her disappointment was, in fact, the result of excessive demands on herself and that at present there is only one necessary thing in her life - to raise a child.

“Just relax,” I told her. Relax and enjoy your new experiences. Let the baby feel how you rejoice in your role as a mother. No one else is able to love and cherish your child the way you do. So far, all your other interests are not so important compared to this.

Maria realized that in the near future her life did not promise to be balanced ... and that it should be so.

Everything has its time. She also realized that when her baby grew up, she could achieve her goals and be useful in other ways.

In the end, I said, “Don't even think about making plans. Forget the calendars, they only make you feel more guilty. Now the most important thing in your life is a child. Just be happy baby and don't worry about anything else. Let your inner compass guide you, not your watch.”

For many of us, there is a mismatch between the compass and the clock - between what is truly important to us and how we manage our time. The traditional approach to time management – ​​doing more in less time – fails to overcome it. On the contrary, many people notice that by increasing the speed, they only increase this gap.

Consider this question: If, by magic, you were suddenly given the 15 to 20 percent increase in productivity that traditional time management promises, would that solve your time pressure problems? While such a perspective might inspire you for a while, you would then come to the conclusion that the problems you face cannot be solved by simply increasing your ability to do more things in less time. So, at least, it was with most of those with whom we worked.

In this section, we take a close look at three generations of traditional time management and why they fail to overcome this gap. We will invite you to reflect on which paradigm you adhere to in life - the paradigm of urgency or the paradigm of importance - and discuss the consequences of a harmful addiction to urgency. We will look at the need for a fourth generation of time management, a completely different approach. This is a generation of personal leadership rather than time management. It focuses not on doing the right thing, but on doing the right thing.

In Chapter 3, we will address the hard questions about what matters most in our lives and our ability to prioritize them. This chapter is based on three fundamental ideas that are most significant for the fourth generation. You may even change your attitude towards time and life. This chapter requires an emotional readiness to do a certain inner work. We recommend doing it sequentially, but you may find it more helpful to jump to Section 2 and dive into the process of organizing Quadrant II to see first hand what we are talking about and then return to Chapter 3. We ensure that you understand and applying the three fundamental ideas in this chapter will have a huge impact on how you manage your time and improve the quality of your life.

1. Do many people regret on their deathbed that they spent little time on work?

Good is the enemy of the best.


We're constantly deciding how to spend our time, whether it's an entire season or a small episode. And our future life is a consequence of these decisions. Many of us don't like the consequences of a choice we make, especially when we feel a disconnect between how we spend our time and what we consider to be truly important in our lives.

I live in some kind of fever! I spin all day - meetings, calls, papers, obligations. I literally reach the handle, I go to bed in the evening completely exhausted, in order to rush somewhere again early in the morning. I have achieved a lot - I am incredibly productive. But sometimes I am tormented by doubts: “So what? What did I do that was really worthwhile? And I have to admit that I don't know the answer.

I feel like I'm being torn apart. My family is important to me, and so is work. I live in constant conflict with myself, trying not to lose face here and there. Is it possible to be truly successful and happy both at work and at home?

I simply do not have enough for everything that is required of me. The board and shareholders are besieging me like a swarm of bees because of the depreciation of the share price. I constantly play the role of referee in the struggle for influence between members of the top management. Morale in our organization is very poor and I feel guilty for not being able to spend enough time with my staff and listen to them. And the worst thing is that now my children are on vacation, my wife is on vacation, and I have practically been written off because I am not at home at all.

I'm going with the flow. I try to understand what is important to me and set goals accordingly, but other people - bosses, colleagues, spouse - constantly put a spoke in my wheel. I do not do what is important to me, but do what other people require of me, what is important to them.

Everyone says that I am a successful businessman. I worked, fought my way, made sacrifices, and now I'm at the very top. But I can't call myself happy. I have a void inside. As they say, "that's all love"

Life does not please me. For every thing I do, there are dozens of other things I don't do and that makes me feel guilty. The constant need to decide what to do first of all the many things that I have to do causes constant stress. How do you know what's most important? How to deal with it? How to rejoice in this?

I feel like I have to change my life somehow. I write down on paper what is really important to me and set a goal accordingly. But, plunging into everyday activities, every time I lose sight of this image of the most important thing. How to make really worthwhile things part of everyday life?

The question is: how to do the most important thing in the first place - the most important thing in life. Almost all of us feel torn apart by the desire to do one thing and the need or obligation to do another. We all have to look back at urgent everyday and momentary issues when we want to make the best use of our time.

Decisions are easy to make when you choose between "bad" and "good". Then we clearly see that some ways to manage our time are wasteful, and even harmful. But in most situations, the question is not between "good" and "bad", but between "good" and "better". And often the “good” turns out to be the enemy of the “best”.

Stephen. An acquaintance of mine was offered to be the new dean of a business college at a major university. When he got to work, he studied the situation in college and realized that main problem educational institution there was insufficient funding. He knew that he had a unique ability to get money, that the ability to find financial resources– his strongest quality, and made a quest additional sources financing their primary professional responsibility.

This created resentment in the college, as previous deans were primarily concerned with meeting the day-to-day, pressing needs of the organization. The new dean was never in place. He traveled around the country, trying to find money for scientific research, scholarships and the like. All day-to-day matters had to be handled through his deputy for administrative affairs, which caused resentment among many employees who were accustomed to working directly with senior management.

The dissatisfaction of the staff reached such an extent that, in the absence of the dean, they sent their delegation to the rector of the university with a demand to replace the dean or force him to reconsider his leadership style. The rector, who knew well what the dean was doing, told them: “Calm down. He has a good assistant. Give him some time."

Money soon poured in, and employees were forced to recognize the foresight of the new leader. From now on, when they saw him, they joked: “Get out of here so that we don’t see you. Go for new funds. Your deputy does a great job with all the administrative work.”

This dean later confessed to me that he had made a mistake by not taking enough time to strengthen the team by not explaining his behavior. Of course, he could have done better, but I learned an important lesson from his example. We must constantly ask ourselves: “What needs to be done, and what is my greatest strength, my gift?”

It was easy for this man to start by solving urgent employee problems. He could make a career at the university, doing many useful things. But he wouldn't reach the best what he was capable of, the best for himself and for the college, if he did not unravel the real needs and his own unique abilities and bring his vision to life.

What is "best" for you? What prevents you from giving this "best" as much time and energy as you would like to give it? Are there really so many good things that happen to us in life? For many people, it's too much. And as a result, there is an unsettling feeling that they do not pay the main attention to the main things in their lives.

Clock and compass

Our inner struggle to prioritize what matters most can be described as a struggle between the two tools that guide us along our path: the clock and the compass. Watches represent our obligations, business meetings, plans, goals, specific cases - what we are dealing with and how we manage our time . The compass, on the other hand, represents our vision, values, principles, mission, conscience, direction - what seems to us the main thing, and how we dispose of with your life.

The struggle begins when we feel a contradiction between the clock and the compass, when our activities do not contribute to what we consider the main thing in life.

For some of us, this gap is quite painful. We feel trapped, we feel that other people or circumstances control our lives. We are always reacting to crises. We are constantly “in the thick of the slush”, constantly “putting out fires”, and we never have time to do something that would significantly change our life. It seems to us that life is lived without us.

Others experience vague discomfort. They just can't figure out what must what to do want to do, and what are they do. They are constantly solving dilemmas. They feel guilty for what they don't do and they can't enjoy what they do.

Some feel inner emptiness. They limit their concept of happiness to professional or financial achievement only, and then find that their "success" does not bring the fulfillment they expected. Painfully, they climb rung after rung of the ladder of success—a degree, a late night job, a promotion—only to find, when they reach the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall. Absorbed by the rise, they leave behind the ruins of former ties and missed moments of a full-blooded, real life. In their race, they just don't find time to do what really matters.

Often people feel confused, lose their bearings, cannot understand what, in fact, is “the main thing”. They jump from one thing to another on autopilot. They live mechanically, and only sometimes it occurs to them to wonder if there is at least some sense in what they are doing.

Many are aware of the lack of harmony in their lives, but do not believe in other alternatives. Either they think the costs of change are too high, or they're just afraid to try. It is easier for them to continue to live as before.


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