Osho love and marriage. How Marriage Can Ruin Life (Osho) Marriage is a dilemma

Does anyone like Osho, his teachings and calls for debauchery? and got the best answer

Answer from Hegumen Ephraim[guru]
She did business and epatriated the crowd without hiding it. "I am the guru of the rich," he said. What kind of spirituality can we talk about. Take, for example, his grandiose scam with the personal city of Rajneeshpuram ... "Osho's Bible" is a work that is not even philosophical at all, but rather confuses brains. Well, his debauchery was worth something ...

Answer from Stephen Korolev[active]
What you call depravity is debauchery only from a Christian point of view. Although I don't know much about OSHO, to be honest.

Answer from Yovet[guru]
Why not just read in order to understand their point of view, filter and take what you need. In general, this is how I feel about literature, I read, I sift, it's just information. Why take everything on faith.

Answer from ama Rama[guru]
He was never born, never died, he just visited Planet Earth 🙂
Jesus also called on people to love each other, and let the one who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at me 🙂

Answer from NATO member[guru]
you are talking about a decent person

Answer from Brad Sunny[guru]
You are biased towards him and you have a ready-made opinion that will not move right away ... Although Jesus said that a tree is valued by its fruits, and a person by deeds, but in the case of wise men, it is not worth evaluating by actions and effective advice . We may simply not understand the true motives of this or that advice. For example, I consider it simply vandalism to worship the relics of saints, and even more so to transport them from place to place. But Christians will hardly agree with me... I prefer to think over the words of the sages, rather than judge them... I'm afraid you are familiar with Osho in a biased way and have never approached his thoughts openly and carefully. Or maybe they don’t even know each other in principle, but judge with confidence what he called for ...

Answer from Yotas[guru]
Osho: "How could there be a 'word' in the beginning? Just look at the idea. How could there be a word in the beginning? Then what was before the word? Surely there must have been silence - before the word broke it."
Osho asks a stupid question: “Then what was before the word?” How can there be something BEFORE THE BEGINNING, if at the very beginning there was the Word? If it were possible for something to be before the Word, then the Word would no longer be in the beginning.

Answer from Someone[guru]
And who is OSHO? You speak debauchery 😀

Answer from User deleted[guru]
Osho read. In some places the philosophy is very reasonable. Although he never became a mentor of life.
In what I read, I did not notice a call to debauchery.
Therefore, it would be clearer what you mean if you provided a link to specific teachings.
Although my opinion is:
A person prone to promiscuity will become promiscuous whether he has read Osho or not. A mature and mentally healthy person can read everything and not get worse from it.

In order to enable a woman to fully experience an orgasm, a man needs to learn foreplay, a preliminary love game, he should not rush to fall asleep. His love should be akin to art. For intimate meetings, you need to have a special place, a temple of love, where the air is filled with incense, where there is no bright light, where only candles burn. You need to approach a woman only in a beautiful, cheerful mood in order to share bliss with her. But it often happens that before an intimate meeting, a man and a woman quarrel with each other. It poisons love. Love is like a kind of ceasefire agreement, at least for this evening. Otherwise, it is a bribe, a deceit.
* A man should have sex like an artist painting a picture: when the heart is overwhelmed with strong desire; or like a poet composing a poem, or a musician playing beautiful music. A woman's body should be treated like a musical instrument; that is what it is. When a man feels joy, then sex no longer becomes just relaxation, relaxation, sleeping pills. He is playing a love game. He dances with a woman, he sings with her to the vibrations of beautiful music in a temple of love filled with his favorite incense.
* Love must be something sacred. Until love becomes sacred, there will be nothing sacred in ordinary life. And this will be the beginning of achieving what is called superconsciousness.
* Love does not tolerate violence, it does not depend on the efforts of a person. It should not come from the mind at all: one plays, dances, sings, enjoys; love is part of endless joy. Love is beautiful when it comes by itself. Only free love blossoms. Violent love is ugly.
* A woman is capable of multiple orgasms, so a man needs to be as calm as possible. But in reality, he is in such a hurry in everything that he only ruins everything with this haste. He needs to be very relaxed so that his partner can achieve multiple orgasms. He should strive to experience an orgasm at the very end, when the woman has already reached the peak of arousal. It's just a matter of understanding.
* These differences are natural; they have nothing to do with prejudice. There are also other differences. For example, a woman is more spiritual than a man... She is more calm, more patient, peaceful, she is able to wait. It may well be that thanks to these qualities, a woman has a higher resistance to disease, and therefore she lives longer. With her serenity and sophistication, a woman perfectly complements a man. She can surround him with an atmosphere of comfort and tranquility.
* But a man is afraid, he does not want to be surrounded by the atmosphere of a woman, he does not want her to create comfort and warmth around him. This is due to the fear of being addicted to it. Therefore, for centuries, a man kept a woman at a distance. He is frightened, because deep down he realizes that a woman is more significant for nature. She is able to give new life. It was her, and not the man, that nature chose to procreate.
* The role of men in reproductive matters is reduced to almost zero. Such inferiority led to the appearance of the biggest problem: the man began to clip the woman's wings. He began to resort to any means of humiliation, condemnation of a woman in order to maintain at least the belief that he was superior to her. A man has always treated a woman like a livestock, even worse. For thousands of years in China, it was believed that a woman has no soul, so a husband could take her life with impunity, because she was his property. He could destroy his furniture, it wasn't against the law. In the same way, he could destroy his woman, the law did not forbid it. The highest insult for a woman is the statement that she has no soul.
* A man deprived a woman of the opportunity to get an education, put her in financial dependence Push. Fear forced him to forbid her to lead an active lifestyle in society. He knows that she is superior to him, he knows that she is beautiful, he knows that it is dangerous to give her independence. Therefore, for centuries, a woman was dependent on a man. A Muslim woman must hide her face so that no one but her husband can see the beauty of her face, the depth of her eyes.
* In Hinduism, a woman must die after her husband. What great jealousy! You have owned it all your life, but even after your death you want to possess it. You are scared. She's beautiful, and after you die, anything can happen. She can find another partner, perhaps even more worthy than you. Therefore, the sati system has dominated for centuries, and this is the most disgusting thing that the imagination can draw.
* The man is very selfish. That's why I call him a chauvinist. This society was created by a man, there is no place for a woman in it. A woman has unique qualities!
* For example, if a man has the ability to intellectual work, then a woman is gifted with the ability to love. This does not mean that she is not able to engage in intellectual work, it is within her power, it is simply necessary to give her the opportunity to develop her intellect. But the ability to love is given to a woman from birth, she has more compassion, kindness, understanding ... A man and a woman are two strings of the same harp, and when they are separated, both suffer. Because of this suffering and misunderstanding of its true cause, they begin to take revenge on each other.
* The role of women in creating a harmonious society can hardly be overestimated. She is different from a man, but not inferior to him. She is equal to him just like any other man. Her unique abilities are much needed. It is not enough to earn money, it is not enough to achieve success in society, it is more important to have a beautiful home, and a woman is able to turn any home into a home. She can fill him with love, she has such a talent. She can make a man younger, help him relax.
* In the Upanishads one finds a very strange instruction to young married couples. The newly-married couple comes to the interpreter of the Upanishads, and he gives them a blessing. He addresses the girl with the words: "I hope you will become the mother of ten children, and your husband will be your eleventh child. Until you become a mother to your husband, you will not be able to be his faithful wife." Very strange words, but they give the key to understanding modern human psychology: every man looks for his mother in a woman, and every woman looks for a father in a man.
* This is why marriages are so unsuccessful: in marriage it is impossible to find your mother. You married a woman who came to your house not to be your mother, she wants to be your wife, your mistress. But the blessing of the Upanishads, which is already five or six thousand years old, explains the phenomenon of modern psychology. To a woman, whoever she may be, nature assigned the role of a mother. The institution of paternity is far-fetched, it is unnatural... But the mother remains indispensable. Scientists conducted an experiment: they provided newborns with everything they need - food, medicine, proper care ... according to the latest achievements various industries science, but, oddly enough, the children became ill and even died after three months. In the course of this experiment, it was found that the body of the mother, her warmth, is absolutely indispensable for the development of a new life. In such a gigantic cold universe, the warmth of a mother is absolutely necessary for the survival of the child, otherwise he will feel abandoned. He will get sick and die...
* There is no need for a man to feel humiliated next to a woman. The comparison itself appears because a man and a woman are treated as two different beings. But they belong to the same humanity, their qualities complement each other. They need each other; and only together they form a single harmonious whole. Life must be taken calmly. Differences are not contradictions. They can help each other and greatly enhance each other. A woman in love with you can help increase your creativity, can inspire you to such heights that you never even dreamed of. And she asks for nothing in return. She just needs your love, and this is her natural right.
* Many of the differences between a woman and a man are due to conditioning. Differences must be maintained, for they are what make a man and a woman attractive to each other, but they cannot be used to condemn each other. I would like a man and a woman to turn into an organic whole, remaining at the same time absolutely free, because love never turns into bondage, it gives freedom. Then we can improve the world. Half of the planet has not been allowed to express itself, and this - the female - half has a huge reserve of energy in order to change the world. She would turn the world into a blooming paradise.
* A woman needs to find her own potential in her soul and develop it, then she will have a wonderful future. Men and women cannot be compared, they are unique. The meeting of two unique beings creates a miracle.
* Due to the fact that the woman was always controlled, mocked at her, turning her into a faceless creature, she became disgusting. When the inner nature of a person is suppressed, his inner needs are not satisfied, his soul becomes sour, poisoned, disfigured, paralyzed - it becomes perverted.
* The current woman is not a true woman, for she has been subjected to humiliation and violence for centuries. And when the woman's soul is corrupted, the man also cannot remain natural, because in the end it is the woman who gives life to the man. If she is unnatural, then her children will also be unnatural. If she is unnatural, she will still become a mother to a child, a boy or a girl, and her children will certainly fall under her influence.
* A woman really needs a great liberation, but what is happening now under the banner of liberation is simply stupid. This is imitation, not liberation.
* Real liberation will return to a woman the lost truly feminine qualities, she will stop imitating a man. Now women are trying to be like men in everything. Imitating a man, a woman lit a cigarette. Imitating the man, the woman put on trousers. A woman always tries to imitate a man in everything. She just becomes a second-rate man.
* This is not a liberation, but an even deeper bondage - much deeper, since the first bondage is imposed by a man. This second slavery is deeper, because it is created by women themselves. When slavery is imposed from outside, it is possible to rebel against it, but if a person binds himself with the bonds of slavery in the name of liberation, then all hope of rebellion disappears. I would like a woman to become a woman, because a lot depends on her. She is much more important than a man because she bears in herself both a man and a woman. She is the mother of both, the boy and the girl, she nurses both. If her soul is poisoned, then her milk is poisoned, and then the methods of raising children will be vicious.
* If a woman does not have enough freedom to express herself, then a man will never get the opportunity to fully express himself. The liberation of a woman is necessary condition to free a man; the freedom of a woman is paramount. And if a woman is in slavery - as it has been for centuries - then she will make a slave and a man, but very subtly; she is very subtle. A woman will not openly conflict with a man, her struggle is indirect, purely feminine. She will cry, weep. She will not strike a man, she will suffer herself, and because of women's suffering, women's sobs and lamentations, even the strongest man will fall under her heel.
* Gentle, weak woman rules strong man... A woman needs full release to give freedom to a man. One of the fundamental laws should be remembered: having enslaved someone, a person himself will eventually turn into a slave, he cannot be free. If he wants to be free, then he must give freedom to others, there is no other way.
* I think that it is easier for a woman than for a man to abandon chauvinism, to get out of this vicious circle, because she is capable of great love and compassion. The man is more aggressive, more cruel. I don't feed high hopes for men, I hope for women. That is why I do not support the aggressive methods and approaches of the women's liberation movement... The problems of life can only be solved with love, they cannot be solved with hatred.
* A man and a woman are different worlds, so it is difficult for them to understand each other. There have been plenty of misunderstandings in the past, but that doesn't mean there will definitely be more in the future. We need to learn a lesson from the past - a lesson that a man and a woman need to understand each other more, to accept each other's differences. These differences are very important, they should not become a source of conflict, on the contrary, differences cause mutual attraction in a man and a woman.
* If all differences between a man and a woman disappear, if they have the same psychology, then love will also disappear, because polarities, opposites, will disappear. A man and a woman resemble the negative and positive poles of electricity, they experience a magnetic attraction to each other.
* Since these poles are opposite, their conflict is natural. However, thanks to understanding, compassion, love, thanks to the penetration into each other's world and the manifestation of sympathy, any problems can be solved. There is no need to create new conflicts - there are plenty of them already.
* A man needs liberation no less than a woman. They both need liberation, liberation from mental attitudes. They need to cooperate with each other and help each other to free themselves from prejudice. This is what will become a real liberation movement.
* Civilization is an artificiality, civilization takes a person further and further away from nature. The more civilized a person becomes, the more he begins to depend on his prejudices. He loses contact with his heart. And the human heart is still primitive. I am glad that universities have not yet found a way to educate the heart and make it more civilized. The heart is humanity's only hope for survival.

Sexuality.

Humanity, and especially its female half, suffers from many ailments. Until today, all so-called civilizations and cultures have been psychologically ill. They never dared to admit their ailments; and the first step to recovery is the recognition of the very fact of the disease. Especially contradictory, unnatural were the relations between a man and a woman.
* In terms of biological reproduction, orgasm is not a necessity. But orgasm is necessary for spiritual growth and improvement.
* I believe that at the dawn of mankind, it was the feeling of bliss in orgasmic ecstasy that prompted man to meditate, to search for even more pleasant, more intense, more alive sensations. The ability to orgasm is a natural proof that within a person lies the ability to experience boundless bliss. Orgasm simply shows that the possibilities of a person are endless, and then the person continues the search.
* Science has only recently recognized the existence of the orgasm. Only in our century did psychologists for the first time face the problems of women in matters of sex. Thanks to psychoanalysis and other psychological methods, experts agreed that modern woman remains a domestic servant; she is deprived of the possibility of spiritual growth.
* Ejaculation is sufficient for procreation; From the point of view of biology, there are no problems here, the problem lies in the psychological plane. Women become very irritable, quarrelsome, bitchy, and the reason for this is that they have been deprived of their birthright; they don't even know what they're talking about.
* Only in the West, the younger generation knows about the existence of orgasm. And it is no coincidence that it went in search of truth, ecstasy, because orgasm lasts only a moment, but thanks to it, glimpses of the beyond appear. The sensation of orgasm is accompanied by the following: firstly, the mind subsides, for a moment it disappears, and secondly, time stops. This moment of orgasmic joy is so all-encompassing and complete that it equates to eternity.
* Since ancient times, people have realized that these sensations give the maximum pleasure of all that nature provides. The simple and logical conclusion was that if you stop the chattering mind and become so silent that everything stops, including time, a person is freed from sexuality. Then you can not depend on another person, woman or man, you can achieve this meditative state yourself. An orgasm cannot last more than a moment, and meditation can be stretched out for a whole day.
* People like Gautama Buddha spend every moment of life in orgasmic joy, and it has nothing to do with sex.
* I am asked again and again why so few women have attained enlightenment. Among others, the most important reason is that they have never had an orgasm. They never opened a window to the infinite sky. They lived, gave birth to children and died. Men used them as factories for the production of children.
* In the East, even today it is not easy to find a woman who has known orgasm. I've talked to many educated, intelligent women - they all have no idea about it. In fact, there is not even an equivalent for the word "orgasm" in Oriental languages. It was not necessary, it was never thought about.
* The man taught the woman that only prostitutes can enjoy sex. They moan, they scream, they scream, they almost go crazy; a self-respecting lady would never stoop to that. Therefore, a woman cannot relax and deep down she feels humiliated - she was simply used. Many women told me that after an intimate relationship, the husband began to snore, and they were choked with tears.
* A woman is very much like a musical instrument, her body is very sensitive, and this sensitivity needs to be developed. Here you can not do without a prelude. After intimacy, a man cannot immediately fall asleep, this is wild, uncivilized, disrespectful. The woman who gave you such joy needs attention even after the final phase, and this attention should be given to her at least out of a sense of gratitude.
* Every woman is afraid, because if she loses control alone with a man, then the man will be afraid. He can't handle it, his sexuality is very limited. Being a donor, he loses energy during sexual contact. A woman does not lose energy, on the contrary, she feels a surge of strength.
* Until a woman ceases to control herself during intimacy, she will not have the opportunity to experience an orgasm. At the very least, my students should understand that when a woman experiences an orgasm, she will moan, scream, and squeal. This is because her whole body is involved, there is total participation.
* Do not be afraid of this. These sensations are extremely healing: a woman will not be bitchy, she will stop grumbling, because all nervous energy is transformed into boundless joy.
* Let love become a real holiday, do not do everything on the go, in a hurry. Sex should not come from the mind; sex is music, song, dance. Planned sex is not natural, sex should be spontaneous. Create the right atmosphere. The bedroom should be a shrine, a temple. Nothing else can be done in the bedroom; sing, dance, play, and love will come by itself, quite unexpectedly; you will be very surprised that thanks to physiology you lift the veil of meditation. Don't worry about the raging woman going crazy. She must go crazy, because her whole body went into a completely different dimension. She cannot continue to control herself, otherwise she will turn into a corpse. Millions of people have sex with corpses.
* Orgasm is a feeling of unity, dissolution in each other, it is a state outside the ego, outside the mind and outside of time. Perhaps this will serve as an impetus for you to start searching for such a path when it becomes possible to abandon a man, a partner, discard your mind, stop time and immerse yourself in the joy of orgasm yourself. I call it true meditation... Don't worry, just enjoy the game, let it be fun.
* Sex takes so much importance in a person's life that the ego tried to get rid of him. First of all, remember: sex is a natural phenomenon. Sex is no longer the same serious business as it was in the past. It has become a joy: two bodies play with each other, that's all. Sex is a play of the energies of two bodies. There is no point in trying to get rid of it, although I know there comes a point when it transcends, but that is another matter. With effort, it is impossible to get rid of sex. If you try to do this, you will become a victim of many perversions.
* My approach to solving all problems is this: if there is a problem, you need to dive deep into it. Then you will either find the treasure, if it is there at all, or you will find a single void there. In both cases, you will be rich. Finding a treasure will naturally make you rich. When you find the void, you end it all.
* And it is only through your own experience - not what the buddhas say or what I say - only through your experience that you can one day transcend all relationships. The one who can be happy alone is a real person. This does not mean that you will not communicate with people. But connecting with people is one thing, but being in a relationship is quite another. Addiction is a kind of bondage, communication is an opportunity to share your feelings. You will communicate with many people, you will share your joy with many, but you will not depend on anyone and you will not allow anyone to depend on you. You will not be dependent and you will not allow anyone to depend on you. Then your life will be filled with freedom, joy, love.

matrimony.

Why is it so difficult for a man and a woman to maintain friendly relations? It seems so easy, but in reality it turns out to be almost impossible. There is either an unworthy compromise, as between husband and wife, or passion, which eventually turns into hatred. Why is there always something ugly in the relationship between a man and a woman?
* A woman was treated as if she were a piece of land or a banknote. It has been turned into a thing. Remember: if you treat a person as a thing that has no consciousness, then by such an attitude you will reduce yourself to the same position; otherwise you wouldn't be able to communicate. If you can communicate with the chair, then you must be the chair yourself.
* Lovers do not deceive each other, they tell the truth, but this truth only applies to the present moment. When lovers say to each other: "I can't live without you," they are not lying, they are telling the truth. But they do not know the nature of life. Tomorrow, the same woman will no longer look so attractive. Time passes, and the man and woman feel that they are trapped.
* You ask why friendship between women and men is impossible... There cannot be friendship between a prisoner and a jailer. Friendship is possible only between equal human beings who have completely freed themselves from all the chains of society, culture, civilization and live as their heart tells them. People are not things, they cannot be owned. People are reduced to the level of things, and hence jealousy and hatred.
* When relationships between people are based on financial gain, then there is no need to talk about love. A woman depends on you because you make a living. For centuries, men have prevented women from getting an education, participating in business, working, for a simple reason: if a woman has her own financial status, a bank account, then she cannot be likened to a thing. She needs to be dependent on you. Do you think that someone who depends on you will love you?
* Remember: friendship is so valuable that, regardless of the circumstances, always remain a friend even to your wife, even to your husband, giving complete, absolute freedom to each other. If you give each other complete freedom, then perhaps you will stay together for life and even for eternity, because there will be no need to get rid of each other. In order to get to know each other, to get to know as many people as possible, a person needs freedom. Each person is so unique that any comparison is simply inappropriate.
* I never said that marriage destroys love. How can marriage kill love? Yes, love dies in marriage, but it's you who ruin it, not the marriage. Love is destroyed by partners. How can marriage kill love? It is you who destroy it, for you do not know what love is. You just pretend you know, you just hope you know, you pretend you know, but really you have no idea what love is. Love has to be learned, it is the greatest of the arts.
* Imagine that you are in a dance club and someone says to you: "Let's dance." You answer: "I can't." You will not immediately rush into the dance and pretend to be a great dancer. You're just making yourself look like a joke. You won't look like a dancer. It is necessary to learn the art of dance, learn plasticity, learn movement. You need to train your body to dance.
* You don't become an artist just because you have a canvas, a brush and paints. You don't dare to paint. You won't say: "Everything you need is there, so I can paint canvases." You can draw, but you won't become an artist that way. You met a woman - now you have a canvas. You immediately become a lover - and an artist, you start creating. And she starts painting a picture of you. There is no doubt that you will both turn out to be fools, painted fools, and in the end you will understand what is happening. But you never knew that love is an art. It is not given from birth, it has nothing to do with birth itself. This needs to be learned. This is the most subtle art.
* Man is born only with potentialities. Of course you are born with a body; and if you have a body, then you can dance. You can move your body, you can be a dancer, but the art of dancing has to be learned. It takes a lot of practice to learn how to dance. But the dance is not so difficult, because you are involved in it alone.
* Learning to love is much more difficult. This dance needs a partner. The partner must also know what dance is. Finding common ground is a great art. It is necessary to create harmony between two people ... and two people are two around the world. When two worlds come together, there will definitely be conflict if you do not know the paths to harmony. Love is harmony. And happiness, health, harmony - everything is born from love. Learn to love. Don't rush to tie the knot, learn to love. First, become truly loving.
* What is the main requirement? It lies in the fact that a sincere lover is always ready to give his love, without worrying at all about whether they will repay him the same or not. Love always returns, this is the essence of the nature of things.
* The first lesson of love is not to ask for love, but simply to give it. Become a giver. And people do just the opposite. Even when they share love, they always expect no less love in return. It looks like a deal. They don't give love, they don't do it unconditionally. They love on condition. Out of the corner of their eye, they watch to see if the same amount of love is returning to them. Very unhappy people... they don't know the true nature of love. You just have to pour it out and it will come back.
* If nothing comes back, then you should not worry, because the lover knows that to love is already happiness. If love is mutual - well, in this case, happiness only multiplies. But even if love is not mutual, you are happy simply because you love, you enter into such ecstasy that it becomes indifferent whether it is mutual or not.
* Love has its own inner happiness. This happens when a person loves. There is no need to wait for the result. Just start loving.
* Gradually you will see more and more love coming back to you. Only in love does a person know what love is - only if he loves himself. Just as you can only learn to swim by swimming, you can only learn to love by loving.
* People are very unhappy. They are waiting for someone to love them, then they will love too. They remain passive, fenced off. They passively wait. Some Cleopatra will come from somewhere, and they will open their heart to her, but by then they will have completely forgotten how to open it.
* Don't waste a single chance to love. Even walking down the street, one can be loving. You can even love a beggar. You don't have to give him anything, you can at least smile at him. It costs nothing, but it is your smile that will open your heart, make it more alive. Take someone by the hand - a friend or a stranger. Don't expect love to come to you only when it appears right person. In this case, the right person will never appear. Keep on loving.
* The more you give your love, the greater the likelihood that such a person will appear - because your heart will open, become more alive. And an open heart attracts more bees, more lovers.
* You were brought up completely wrong. First, everyone lives with the false idea that he is a lover. To become loving, in your opinion, it is enough just to be born. It's not that simple. Yes, there is potential, but this potential needs to be shown, realized. The seed is there, but it needs to turn into a flower.
* You can keep running with your seed, but not a single bee will fly to it. Have you ever seen bees flying towards seeds? Don't they know that a flower grows from a seed? But they fly only when a flower appears from the seed. Become a flower, don't remain a seed.
* Two people, if they are unhappy apart, when they meet, they make each other even more unhappy. This is simple arithmetic. You were unhappy, your wife was unhappy, and you both hope that together you will be happy? This is arithmetic: two plus two equals four. Very simple. It's not higher mathematics, it's elementary, you can count it on your fingers. Both of you will become miserable.
* Courtship is a completely different matter. Try not to fall for what happened during the courtship. It is better to get rid of it even before the wedding.
* Divorces exist because marriages are made by mistake and are often forced. Divorces exist because marriages are made in a romantic mood.
* Romance is good for a poet, but no one can say what poets are good husbands and wives. On the contrary, poets are mostly bachelors. They fool everyone, but they themselves do not fall for the bait, which is why their romance is so tenacious. They go on writing poetry, beautiful poetry.
* You can not get married or get married in a poetic mood. Let a prosaic mood come, then you can make a decision. For everyday life is more like prose than poetry. The person must be mature enough. Maturity means that a person is no longer a romantically minded fool. He consciously relates to life, he takes responsibility for his life, he is aware of the problems that may appear in life together. A person accepts all these difficulties, but still decides to connect life with another person. A person does not hope that only paradise and roses await him ahead. He does not have illusory hopes, he knows that life is difficult. Life consists of gray everyday life. There will be roses, but there will be many thorns between them.
* If you have realized all these problems, but still think that it makes sense to take risks and connect your life with another person, and not remain single, then get married. Then marriages will never kill love, because this love is realistic.
* Marriage only kills romantic love. And romantic love is what people call "puppy love." You can't depend on her. You can not think that this is a power source. She looks like ice cream. Sometimes you can eat it, but don't get addicted to such love. Life should be more realistic, more prosaic.
* By itself, marriage does not destroy anything. Marriage simply exposes what is hidden inside, it brings it to the surface. If love is hidden in you, if love is inside you, then marriage will expose it. If love was just a pretense, just a bait, then sooner or later it must disappear. And then your reality, your ugly underside, appears. Marriage is just an opportunity, because what was supposed to manifest will manifest itself.
* I am not saying that love is destroyed by marriage. It is destroyed by people who do not know how to love. Love perishes primarily because it simply does not exist. You lived a dream, and reality destroys this dream. Otherwise, love would be eternal, would be part of the eternal. If you develop, if you know the art and accept the realities of life and love, then love will grow every day. Marriage gets a great opportunity to grow into love.
* Nothing can destroy love. If there is love, then it will grow. But I think that more often than not, love is missing. You did not understand yourself, it was not love, but something else. Maybe it was love, maybe it was passion. Then it will inevitably be destroyed, because sexual attraction disappears after intimacy with a woman, and only the unknown can attract.
* Having known the taste of the body of a woman or a man, a person loses sexual interest. If your love was just related to sexuality, then it will surely disappear.
* Never confuse love with anything else. If it's really love... What do I mean when I say "really love"? This means that you suddenly feel happy in the presence of another person, together with him you experience ecstasy, the very presence of this person fills your heart with something ... Your heart starts to sing, you become harmonious. The very presence of that person helps you to be whole. You become more spiritual, more unique, more peaceful. Then it's love.
* Love is not a passion, love is not an emotion. Love is a deep understanding that the other person completes you, helps you become a complete circle.
* The presence of another person makes you more significant. Love gives freedom to be yourself; it is not possession. Be careful. Do not mistake sex attraction for love, otherwise you will be disappointed. Be vigilant. When you feel that you don't need anything but just presence, when just presence is enough, then you love. When you don’t ask about anything, when the mere presence of another person is enough, the fact that he is already enough for you to be happy ... then you love. When something blooms within you, thousands of lotus flowers bloom in you... then you love, you can go through all the difficulties of life. You will be able to overcome all kinds of suffering and vicissitudes of life, and your love will blossom more and more, for all these situations will become life lessons. Overcoming them, your love will become stronger.
* Love is eternity. If it is, it will constantly increase. Love has a beginning but no end.

Love.

The definition of love depends on many factors. How many people there are, so many types of love. Love is a hierarchy: from the lowest level to the highest, from sex to superconsciousness. There are many steps, many levels of love. It all depends on the person. Those who are at the lowest level and those who are at the top of this hierarchical ladder understand love in completely different ways.
* At the lowest level, love is something like politics, politics of power. If love is corrupted by the idea of ​​headship, domination, it becomes politics. It doesn't matter if you call it politics or not, it remains so. Millions of people do not know anything about love, they only know this politics that reigns between husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. This is politics, everything comes down to politics only: a person wants to control others.
* Man likes to dominate; love is nothing but sweetened politics, a bitter pill in a sweet shell. A person talks about love, but deep inside him there is a desire to exploit the other. I am not saying that this is done consciously or deliberately, the person is not yet conscious enough for this. He is unable to do it consciously; everything happens unconsciously, automatically.
* That is why such a strong desire for possession and such a strong jealousy have become a part, an inseparable part of human love. That is why love generates more suffering than joy. Ninety-nine percent of love is bitterness; and only one percent is that sweet shell with which a person has sweetened his bitterness. But sooner or later sugar disappears.
* At the very beginning of a relationship, on the days of the honeymoon, a person's feelings are the sweetest. But gradually the sugar shell melts, exposing the bitter reality, and the relationship becomes unpleasant.
* Millions of people have made the decision never to love their own kind again. It is better to love a dog, a cat, a parrot, it is better to love a car, because they can be freely controlled and the object of your love does not seek to rule over you. Everything is simple here, everything is much simpler than with a person.
* People fall in love with horses, dogs, animals, cars, things. Why is this happening? Because love for a person has turned into a continuous hell, an ongoing conflict: constant squabbles, constant grabbing each other by the throat.
* This is the lowest form of love. There is nothing wrong with it if you use it as a bridge, as a meditation. If you observe it, if you try to understand it, then in this very understanding a person reaches a higher level, he begins to move upward.
* Only at the highest level, when love ceases to be an addiction, when love is the state of your soul, does the lotus fully open, exuding the finest fragrance, but this happens only at the highest level. At its lowest level, love remains politics. At the very top, love is a religious state of consciousness.
* Everyone has their own concept of love. And only when a person comes to such a state, when all ideas about love disappear, when love is no longer an idea, but a state of the soul, only then does he know its freedom. Then love becomes God. Then love becomes the ultimate truth.
* Let love pass through meditation. Watch it: watch the intricacies of your mind, watch the politics of power. Nothing but constant observation will help. When you say something to your man or your woman, watch: what subconscious motive is hidden here? Why are you saying this? Is there a motive? What is it? Be aware of this motive, bring it to the level of consciousness, for this is one of the secrets of the transformation of your life: everything that becomes conscious disappears.
* Your motives remain unconscious, which is why you cannot get rid of them. Be aware of them, bring them to the surface and they will disappear. When you uproot a tree and leave its roots in the sun, it dies, for the root can only live in the darkness of the soil. Your motives also live in the darkness of the subconscious. So you can transform your love the only way: pull out all unconscious motives to the level of consciousness. Gradually, these motivations will disappear.
* When love is unmotivated, unconditional, it becomes the greatest event in the life of any person. Then love is akin to something higher, beyond. Therefore, love can become the door to heaven. You can start loving a certain person, and end up with indefinite love, love for everyone. A person becomes like a window open to the boundless sky. But it must be absolutely clear that the ego must be sacrificed for love.
* People want love, but at the same time they cling to their ego. Therefore, love never becomes a reality for them. People are born and die without ever tasting the nectar of love. And if a person has never loved, then he, in fact, has not lived. He missed the point.
* The main delusion typical of all people: their love is always directed at someone, addressed to someone, but when love is meant for someone, it dies. It's like you're saying, "I'll only breathe for you, and if you're gone, how can I breathe without you?" Love can be compared to breathing. Love can only be a human quality; and wherever you are, whoever you are with, even if you are all alone, love constantly overwhelms you. The task is not to love somebody, the task is to become love yourself.
* People are not disappointed in their experience of love because there is something wrong with love itself. They narrow love down to a tiny drop so that the ocean of love cannot stay there. You cannot contain the ocean, it is not a small stream. Love is your whole being, love is your whole Divinity.
* You need to ask yourself if you love yourself. The question of the object of love does not arise. When you are with your wife, you love your wife; when you are with children, you love your children; when you are with servants, you love servants; when you are with friends, you love friends; when you are with trees, you love trees; when you are with the ocean, you love the ocean. You are love.
* Love does not need an object, love is the radiation of your essence, the radiation of your soul. The more radiation, the more soul. The wider the wings of your love, the greater the sky of your soul.

Privacy.

We are born alone, live alone and die alone. Solitude is the very essence of our being, but we are not aware of it. Since we are not aware of this, we remain strangers to ourselves; and instead of accepting our solitude as marvelous beauty and bliss, silence and peace, as oneness with life, we misunderstand it as loneliness.
* Loneliness is often confused with solitude. If you mix these two concepts, then the whole content changes. Solitude brings beauty and splendor, and loneliness - poverty, darkness, despondency; the first is positive, the second is negative.
* Everyone seeks to escape from loneliness. Loneliness is like a wound; it brings pain. It can only be avoided in one way: to become part of the crowd, to become part of society, to start a family, to have a husband or wife, to have children. In this crowd, a person gains the opportunity to forget about his loneliness.
* But no one has yet managed to escape loneliness. You can try to ignore what is natural for a person, but it is impossible to forget it, it will constantly remind you of yourself. The problem only gets worse because you have never seen loneliness for what it is; it has always been taken for granted by you that man is born to be alone.
* Loneliness is an abyss, a gap. Something is missing, it needs to be filled with something, but it is impossible to fill it, primarily because there is a misunderstanding. With age, the gap widens. People are afraid to be alone with themselves, doing all sorts of stupid things. Everyone wants to be busy with something. This employment may be related to people, may be related to work... There are workaholics among us, they are afraid of the weekend, they do not know what to do. When they do nothing, they are left alone with themselves, and this is unbearable for them.
* All this ebullient activity has only one goal: not to be alone, it is very scary. And this idea is borrowed from others. Who told you that being alone is a terrible state? Listen to those who have known solitude; their opinion is completely opposite. They will answer that there is nothing more beautiful, nothing more soothing, nothing more fun than just being alone.
* But you listen to the crowd. The people living in misunderstanding are the majority, so nobody cares about some Zarathustra or Gautama Buddha. These individuals may be mistaken, they may experience hallucinations, they may be deceived or deceive others, but millions cannot be wrong. And millions will confirm that there is nothing more terrible in life than being alone with yourself; this is hell.
* Any action generated by fear, horror of being alone with oneself cannot bring satisfaction. The root itself is poisoned. You don't love your woman, you use her to not be lonely. And she doesn't love you. She suffers from the same paranoia, she uses you to not be alone.
* Of course, in the name of love, anything can happen except love itself. There may be fights, there may be arguments, but even they are better than loneliness: at least there is someone nearby, you are busy, you can forget about your loneliness. But love in this case is impossible, because there is no its very foundation.
* Love never grows out of fear.
* An ordinary person tries to avoid loneliness, while a meditator is more and more immersed in his solitude. Previously, the latter had to leave the ordinary world, he lived in caves, in mountains, forests, only to be alone. He wants to know who he really is. You won't recognize it in the crowd - there are too many obstacles. The one who has known solitude has known the greatest blessing of all that is only available to man, for his very existence is already blissful.
* Having learned to be harmonious in solitude, you will be able to communicate, and your relationships with people will bring you great satisfaction, because they will not be based on fear. Having found your solitude, you can begin to engage in creativity, you can take part in whatever you want, for such participation will no longer be an escape from yourself. Now it is a way of your self-expression, a manifestation of your full potential.
* Only such a person can always be blissful, peaceful, silent, regardless of whether he lives alone or in society, whether he is married or not. He lives in dance, in song; his life is a flowering, a fragrance. Whatever he does, he brings his charm to everything.
* But first of all, it is necessary to fully know solitude. You learned how to escape from yourself from the crowd. You started avoiding yourself because everyone is avoiding themselves. Every child is born in a crowd and begins to imitate people, to repeat their actions. The child finds himself in the same painful situation as the others. He begins to think that this is the whole life. He will never understand what real life is all about.
* I want to remind you, do not confuse two completely different concepts: solitude and loneliness. There is no doubt that loneliness is a disease, and solitude is excellent health. Remember, in order to know the meaning and greatness of life, you need to take a very important step: plunge into solitude. This is your temple, the Lord lives there; and nowhere else to find this temple. Not on the Moon, not on Mars...
* When you plunge into the very center of your soul, you will not believe your eyes: you kept so much joy, so much bliss, so much love... and you yourself hid from your treasures. Knowing about these treasures and their inexhaustibility, one can create new relationships, indulge in new types of creativity. You will give people love, not use them. Your love will make them more worthy, you will not lose their respect for yourself. It will be easy for you to guide them in their search for their own treasures. Whatever you do, whatever you do, you will fill everything with your silence, peace, bliss.
Pozdnyakov Vasily Alexandrovich, June 8, 2005

The main problem of love is to first become mature. Then you will find a mature partner; then immature people will not attract you at all. This is exactly how it happens.

A mature person has enough integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives it without any secret threads attached to it - he just gives. When a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you received it, not vice versa. He doesn't expect you to be grateful for it - no, not at all, he doesn't even need your gratitude. He thanks you for accepting his love.

And when two mature people love each other, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together, but at the same time immensely alone.

They are together to such an extent that they are almost one, but their unity does not destroy individuality - in fact, it increases it, they become more individual. Two mature people in love help each other become freer. There is no politics, no diplomacy, no attempts to subjugate the other. How can you try to subdue the person you love?

You would like to see this person completely free, independent; you would like to give it more personality. That is why I call it the great paradox: they are together so much that they almost merge into one, but still in this unity they remain individuals. Their personalities don't mix - they're enhanced. The other enriches in terms of freedom.

Relationships as such, real or imagined, are a very subtle kind of psychological bondage. Either you enslave the other, or you yourself become enslaved.

Another thing to note is that you cannot enslave anyone without becoming enslaved yourself. Slavery is a double-edged sword. Some may be stronger, some may be weaker, but in every relationship you become a prisoner and the other becomes a jailer. On his part, he is a prisoner and you are a jailer.

The reason for the emergence of marriage is the fear that tomorrow, perhaps, your loved one or your beloved will leave you, so you make a contract before society and before the law. But it's disgusting, completely vile, disgusting. To contract love is to place a law over love, that is, to put shackles on your individuality and accept the support of the court, the army, the police, the justice system, to make your slavery absolutely certain and certain.

Marriage itself is prostitution. If I trust my beloved, why should I marry her? The very idea of ​​marriage is mistrust.

Karl Max had the right idea that there would be no marriage under communism. And when the revolution happened in Russia, for the first four or five years, the Russian communists tried to make love free. But then they began to realize practical difficulties that Marx did not understand - he only had ideas. And the biggest difficulty was that if there is no marriage, then the family disappears; and the family is the foundation, the backbone of society, of the nation. If the family disappears, then the nation cannot continue.

I don't want the family to exist, I don't want the nation to exist - I don't want the world to be divided into parts. I want the world to be made up of free individuals living in love, living in silence, playfulness, without any condemnation of pleasure, without any fear of hell and without any longing for heaven - because we can create heaven here.

osho

. Love is a fresh wind. Do not think that love must be eternal, then your love life will become more perfect - because you will know that today you are together, and tomorrow, you may have to leave. Love comes as a breath of fresh, fragrant breeze that has flown into your house. It fills it with freshness and fragrance, stays in it as long as Existence allows, and then flies away. Don't try to lock all the doors, or the fresh breeze will turn into stale air.

Love is the only religion, the only God, the only mystery to be lived and understood. If you have understood love, you have understood all the sages and all the mystics of the world. It's not difficult at all. It's as simple as your heartbeat or breath.

Love grows only in love. Love needs an atmosphere of love.

People think that they can only love when they find a worthy partner. Nonsense! You will never find him.

For love to flow and grow, no perfection is needed. A person who is in love simply loves.

People who demand perfection are people who are neurotic, devoid of love. From a loved one they demand perfection, and such demands destroy love. As soon as a man falls in love with a woman or a woman with a man, some claims immediately arise. A woman, just on the basis that a man loves her, begins to demand that he become perfect. Either he will have to become a superman, or he will have to turn into a pretender, a hypocrite, a rogue. Of course, since becoming a superman is extremely difficult, people begin to cheat. In the name of love people just play games. Never demand perfection . You have no right to demand anything from other people. If someone loves you, be grateful, but do not demand anything, because this person is not obliged to love you. If someone loves, it's a miracle. Look at him with trepidation. If you love a person, don't demand anything from him. Don't expect anything. If something comes to you, be grateful. If nothing comes, then it does not need to come, there is no need for it.

. Stop thinking about how to get love and start giving. By giving, you receive. There is no other way.

Becoming an individual is the first thing. Second: Don't expect perfection, don't ask or demand. Love ordinary people. Every person is unique. Respect this uniqueness. Third: give, and do it unconditionally, then you will know what love is.

Love only happens when you give up. When you force another person to give up, it's disgusting, it's destructive.

The age of 21 to 28 is the time when a man and a woman can stop. They can choose a partner. And now they are able to make a choice - thanks to the experience of the previous two periods of growing up, they can choose the right partner. Nobody else can do this for you. Here something like intuition is included - neither arithmetic, nor astrologers, nor palmistry, nor Yijing will be enough. This is intuition. You've talked to many, many people, and suddenly something clicks in you, something happens that has never happened to anyone else. And it clicks so precisely, so definitely, that you don't have the slightest doubt. Even if you try to doubt, you can't, that confidence is so great. After this click, you stop.

How to get on the path leading to love? Become more alert to your actions, to your relationships, to your actions. Even when you are doing something quite ordinary - say just walking down the street - try to become alert. Try to walk with full awareness…radiate awareness…let more and more moments of your life be illuminated by the light of awareness.

. It's not about what you do, but how you do it.

Everything in life is subject to change - and that is beautiful; so you gain more and more experience, more awareness, more and more maturity .... There is nothing eternal in life ... flowers bloom in the morning, and by the evening they already fade. Life is a constant change; everything is changing, moving. Nothing is static, nothing is eternal. You have been taught to believe in eternal love, and that will ruin your life.

HIS interest in women is a guarantee that he will be interested in YOU, that your love still has a chance to last for many years.

To make life easier and more fun, you must be flexible. You must remember that freedom is the highest value and if love doesn't give you freedom, then it's not love .

You must learn to love. And when a man is loved, he becomes more polite, more courteous, turns into a gentleman. It gets rid of sharp corners, becomes softer. Through love, a woman blossoms; otherwise, it remains an unopened bud. Only in love, when the sun of love rises, does it open its petals. Only when she loves does a different depth, a different radiance appear in her eyes; her face takes on a joyful expression. Through love, she goes through a deep transformation, reaches maturity.

Because of all these conventions, you play a disgusting game: when a man starts wooing you, you run away - which, of course, makes him chase you. And you like that he runs after you. All women love it. It's disgusting and you don't realize what's behind it. This means that you are a victim; the man is a hunter, and he pursues the game. You unconsciously give superiority to a man.

Never tell anyone that love is a duty. This is wrong. Debt is an artificial substitute for love.

The difference between lust and love. Driven by lust, you use another person to satisfy your desires. You just use it, and when you reach your goal, you can throw this person out. You don't need it anymore, it has fulfilled its function. This is the most immoral action in the world: to use a person as a means. Love is the exact opposite of this: you respect the person as such. When you love someone for who they are, there is no heartache; through love you are enriched. Love makes everyone rich. Secondly, love can be real only if there is no ego behind it, otherwise it becomes its manifestation. Then it turns into a method of covert suppression.

Love can be sacrificed for freedom, but freedom cannot be sacrificed for love.

. Love in its purest form is when you share joy . Love asks nothing in return, it expects nothing; how can you feel pain? When you don't wait, you can't be hurt. Then whatever comes is good, and if nothing comes, that is also good. Your joy was in giving, not in receiving. Then a man can love even a thousand miles away; You don't even need a physical presence.

Love is a spiritual phenomenon, lust is material. Ego is a psychological phenomenon, love is spiritual.

Fear is never love, and love is never afraid. Nothing to lose for love. Why should love be afraid? Love only gives. This is not a business transaction, so there is no profit or loss involved. Love likes to give, just like flowers like to exude their fragrance. Fear and love never coexist, they are not capable of it. No coexistence is possible. Fear is the opposite of love. People usually think that the opposite of love is hate. This is wrong, completely wrong. The opposite of love is fear. Hate is love that has risen on its head; it's a headstand, but not the opposite of love. A person who feels hatred simply shows that deep down he still loves. Love faded, but still not dead.

If two people are able to live their whole lives in love, no one will interfere with them. No marriage is needed for this, just as divorce is not needed. Love should be the highest act of freedom.
But you have been told for thousands of years that "if you truly love, your love must be eternal." I haven't noticed anything in life that lasts forever. Love cannot be an exception. Therefore, do not expect that she will always be with you. This will make your life more beautiful, because you will know that today you are together, and tomorrow you may have to leave. Love comes as a breath of fresh, fragrant breeze that has flown into your house. It fills it with freshness and fragrance, stays in it as long as Existence allows, and then flies away. Don't try to lock all the doors, or the fresh breeze will turn into stale air.

People think that excitement and joy are one and the same. Excitement is a kind of intoxication; it captures you, you plunge headlong into it. Having plunged into this state, you forget about your worries, problems and anxieties. It resembles alcohol intoxication: you forget about your problems, you forget about yourself, and even if for a moment, you find yourself far, very far from yourself. This is the essence of excitement: you are no longer inside yourself, you are outside; you ran away from yourself. No excitement can last forever. .. True love begins when the honeymoon ends... Ka it's wonderful - just to be near a person when you are not overwhelmed by excitement, when, shrouded in silence, you do not move, do not utter a word. You are just together, you two have one space, one being, merged into one , you do not think about what to do and what to say, where to go and how to have fun. All this is already in the past. The storm subsided, silence fell.

If both partners realize that their meeting is a meeting of opposites, that there is no need to arrange a conflict because of this, then there is a good opportunity to understand the opposite point of view and perceive it.

However, most couples do not meditate. It doesn't happen that they spend a whole hour together, in silence, just touching each other's minds. They either quarrel or make love, but in both cases, communication occurs at the level of bodies, physical contact, biology, hormones. They do not come into contact with the hidden depths of the being of another person. Their souls remain divided.

Man and woman are two halves of one whole. Therefore, do not waste time on empty quarrels, instead try to understand each other. Try to put yourself in the other's place; try to look at the world through the eyes of a man, try to look at the world through the eyes of a woman. Four eyes are always better than two. Then you have full review, all four directions are open to you.

Loneliness and solitude are different states. To be alone means to feel complete. You don't need anyone, you are self-sufficient. It happens in love. Those who love are alone - through love you come into contact with your inner integrity. Love makes you complete. Lovers merge together, but this is not their need, they are simply overflowing with energy.

. Loneliness - this is sadness; the state when you are alone, solitude, sadness is not characteristic. Loneliness is a feeling of incompleteness. You need someone, but he's not around. Loneliness is an impenetrable darkness in which not a single light flickers. The house is plunged into darkness. He waits and waits for someone to enter him and light a candle.

When one is completely free, that freedom makes giving possible. Then he gives a lot, but not because it is necessary; he gives a lot, but not because he expects to get something in return. He gives a lot because he has a lot. He gives because he loves it.

Love recognizes freedom - and not only recognizes, but strengthens it. And everything that destroys freedom has nothing to do with love. It's probably something else. Love and freedom go hand in hand, they are two wings of the same bird. If you notice that your love is in conflict with freedom, then under the guise of talking about love, you are busy with something else.

Decaying, love turns into possessiveness, jealousy, power struggle, politics, domination, manipulation - it takes on a thousand different guises, one uglier than the other. When love soars up into the open skies, it is freedom, absolute freedom.

Love unconditionally - ask nothing in return

. One must love, but not out of necessity, your love must be a gift. Love, but don't expect anything - give. Love, but remember: your love should not become a prison cell for your beloved. Love, but be very careful; you are in a sacred place. You enter the most important, purest and most holy temple. Be vigilant! Leave all the dirt behind the threshold of the temple. Having fallen in love with a person, love him as if he were a Divine and nothing less. Never love a woman like a woman and a man like a man, because then your love will be completely ordinary. Such love will only be lust. If you love a woman like a woman, your love will not reach the heights. Love a woman like a goddess, then love turns into worship.

Loneliness is a state when you are not happy with yourself, you are bored with yourself, you are tired of yourself and you want to escape somewhere, to forget yourself in the company of other people. Solitude is when you experience delight just from yourself. You are happy to be yourself. You don't have to go anywhere. The need has disappeared, you have become self-sufficient. But now something new is born in you. There's so much in you that you can't contain it. You must share, you must give. And you will be grateful to everyone who accepts your gift.

There are two kinds of love. One is love that happens to a lonely person. Then it is a need, you aspire to another. A different kind of love arises when you don't feel alone. On the contrary, you are alone. In the first case, you seek to receive; in the second case, you want to give. The giver is the king.

. Love should give you freedom. Never settle for less. Love should make you absolutely free, a vagabond in the vastness of freedom, devoid of any roots. Love is not attachment; attachment is lust.

. Love, if it is right, makes you meditative. Meditation, if it is right, makes you loving.

. Love and meditation - these are the two opposites that form the basis of life.

Hell is created because you hope for heaven.

Quarrels happen because you want agreement on everything.

. Love should be above all friendship, where no one dominates, does not impose their opinion , where both are aware that they are different people, that they have different attitude to life, that they think differently, and yet - despite all the differences - love each other. Then you won't have any problems. We create problems ourselves. Don't try to make someone superhuman.

If you love a man or a woman, you want to give that person as much freedom as possible. If love cannot give freedom, then it is not love.

. Love with all the power you can. Never think about what will happen in a minute.

. When you fall in love, you begin to show your true colors. . Love is a mirror. Another person becomes a mirror. Any novel acts as a mirror.

. Love needs time to mature, it needs intimacy . It will take her a really long time. This is not a flower - an annual that grows in three to four weeks, and fades in a couple of weeks. This is a long process of convergence. Gradually, two people merge, uniting into one whole, and then they feed each other. From another woman or another man you will not receive such nourishment. Your connection can become a small adventure, an affair. But then suddenly a feeling will appear in you - and it will definitely appear - that you had a wonderful time, but this novel did not give you anything. And the man will return.
. Wives say to their husbands: "You must love me, I am your wife." Strange! Husbands say: “You must love me. I am your husband, this is my inalienable right.” Love cannot be required. If you are loved, be grateful; if not, wait. Even while waiting, you should not complain about anything, because you have no rights.

If your close relationships help you grow, if they mature you, they can be considered positive, helpful, wholesome, healthy. If, however, they have a detrimental effect on you, preventing you from reaching maturity, but rather keeping you in childhood, then they are harmful and dangerous. Any relationship that does not give you the opportunity to become an adult is harmful.

Being truthful is the real problem. Authenticity creates real problems. Say what is really there - do not hesitate, do not look around. Look straight into your eyes and be sincere. Help your partner to become sincere.

You help another person to drop all complexes, masks and protective shells. In close relationships, a person sees the real face of the other and himself shows his real face. If a relationship helps you to find your authentic face, then it is meditative, then it is spiritual. If your relationship just helps you put on more masks, then it's non-religious.

. How does married life begin in some cases? People are silent. They don't say anything. They don't tell the truth at all. They pretend and lie. They smile when they don't feel like smiling, kiss when they don't feel like kissing. Of course, if you kiss against your will, your kiss becomes poisonous. Of course, if you don't feel like smiling, but you have to, your smile looks ugly, it's all politics. But then a person gets used to all this, resigning himself to falsehood and the fact that he lives a fake life. He finds a thousand solaces for himself.

. Remember, the criterion is this: if you grow, turning into a person, if more and more life happens to you, if you become more and more open, if you see more and more beauty in the world around you, if poetry is born in your heart, if you radiate more and more love, compassion, if you become more aware, then everything is in order in your relationship. Keep up the good work. Then it's not a marriage. This is closeness. But if the opposite happens: if poetry disappears and life becomes prosaic, if love goes away and life becomes a burden, a heavy burden, if all the songs are dead and you live in obedience to a sense of duty, then it is better to escape from this prison. Better for you and better for the person you live with.

Many misunderstood me. They think I'm saying, "Change your partners as quickly and often as possible." I don't say that. I'm talking about what relationships should be maintained as long as love unites you. As soon as you both feel that she is gone, that she is no more ... You can pull a little more, but by doing so you will deceive each other. To deceive the man you loved is disgusting; cheating on the woman you loved is disgusting. It’s better to be honest and say: “It’s time for us to part, because love is gone and we can’t return it.”
There are things that come and go on their own. When you fell in love, it wasn't you - you didn't make the decision to fall in love. It happened suddenly, you could not explain the reason why it happened. The only thing you can say is: "I felt that I fell in love." Just remember the first meeting, remember. As love came to you, it leaves in the same way.
You will wake up one morning and suddenly you will feel that love is no more. There is a husband, there is you, but the bridge that lay between you has disappeared, the uninterrupted flow of energy has dried up. There are two of you, but you are one and he is one. The feeling that you are “together” has disappeared and that the secret that kept you close is beyond your control. You can't force that feeling back.

. Love decides everything by itself. Well, if she stays for a long time. If it lasts only a few moments, that's also great, because love is good . Its duration does not matter. In a few moments, you can experience a stronger love than you experience in a few years. And thanks to such a strong feeling, you will touch something unknown, something that simply turns pale over the years. So the time doesn't matter, the only thing worth thinking about is the depth, the intensity.
Falling in love, completely immerse yourself in this feeling. And when it's gone, say goodbye to it and be done with it. Don't let these thoughts occupy your mind. There are many strangers in the world - who knows? Love has left you so that you can find a better stranger.
Life is strange. Trust her. You can meet a person with whom you will have a great love, and you will realize that your previous feeling is nothing compared to this one. And remember, one day this great love may also disappear. Trust in life, which has given you gifts over and over again, and you didn’t even ask for it. Be open, available.
There are so many wonderful people in the world; there is no shortage of them. And in each person there is some kind of originality, something that no one else has. Each person brings their own unique colors, poetry, melody to their love.
trust life - this is mine the main idea. Trust life, because we are born of it, we are children of life.
Trust life. Life has never betrayed. Perhaps you have completed one class, you must move to another, rise to a new level, to a more refined love, more sublime - who knows? Just keep your heart open and life never deceives anyone.

. Only the one who is able to be alone is endowed with the ability to love, to give, to penetrate into the very depths of another person's being - without taking possession of him, without becoming attached to him, without turning him into a thing and without falling into dependence on him. Such people give the other complete freedom, because they know that if he leaves, they will be as happy as they were with him. Another cannot make them unhappy, because they have not received their happiness from outside.

The love of real people is a luxury, not a need. They like to give: there is so much joy in them that they want to pour it out on another.

Love is born with you; it is a property inherent in you from the very beginning. All you have to do is give it a way, create a channel for it, let it out, let it happen.

. The more you give, the more you have. The less you give, the less you have. If you do not give at all, you will lose those qualities that are inherent in you by nature.

By giving you gain.

Love is not a relationship. Love is manifested in relation to someone, but this is not a relationship .... The word "relationship" means something completed. Love is never a relationship. Love is a process.

If you enjoy being close to a person, you will want to enjoy this feeling again and again.

It is impossible to know the other person, he remains a mystery. And to take another for granted is insulting, disrespectful towards him.

This is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness.

And if every time you establish a new contact, without reducing it to a "relationship", the other becomes a mirror for you. By studying another person, you will gradually learn about yourself. Plunging deeper into the other, recognizing his feelings, thoughts, his deepest experiences, you will reveal for yourself what is hidden in the secrets of your soul. Lovers become mirrors for each other, and then love becomes meditation.

To love is good, it is a great virtue. If you can't love one person, it's better to let your love flow to someone else. But do not get hung up, otherwise you will suffer and make your partner suffer. Both of you will suffer. The problem is, if you suffer long enough, you get used to your suffering. Then you begin to experience a kind of pleasure from suffering itself... Never, even for a moment, linger in a state of suffering.

There is an opinion that if everyone starts telling the truth, there will be no friendship left on Earth, all friendly relations will fall apart: there will be no lovers, no friends, no marriages - nothing. All this will just disappear. Relations between people will be reduced to chance meetings, any communication will be limited to short, fleeting contacts.

. When you love a person, you love everything that can happen between you. The possibilities are endless, and you love all their shades and nuances.

. Love is possible only when a person is free to be himself. without any conditions or restrictions.

If you truly love yourself, if you dive into the depths of your being, you will be ready to love even more - because one who does not know himself is not capable of deep love.

Love is a state of mind…and it is possible only when you penetrate deep into your being, when you start to love yourself.

. If you are not happy being alone, how can you be happy next to another person?

It is better to part and be real at the same time than to pretend, remaining together; for then your relationship will not bring you any joy.

Sympathy is not love, and if someone sympathizes with you, be careful! ... True love does not sympathize. True love empathizes.

A good relationship is about giving, there is no addiction… I have so much, so I share with you.

Love does 2 things: first, it takes away your ego, then it gives you a center. Love is a great mystery.

The more you love, the more love you get.

Exists three kinds of love.
First love is object oriented. (I-it love.) Love has an object. This is ordinary love, known as "eros". This is lust. The other is perceived as a thing. The other is likened to a thing that you have to take possession of.
The second love looks like this: the object is not important, your subjective feeling is important. You love and you give your love as a gift. You love even when you are alone. Love perfumes your being. If you truly love a woman or a man, your first gift will be freedom. When a person reaches this level - when you love the whole existence in all its manifestations, such love becomes unconditional. Then it turns into prayer, becomes meditation. The second kind of love is "I-you". The other is personality. You have respect for him.
In love #3, the object and the subject disappear. One is just love. There is only love, you are not. One is just love. This is not an action, but a property, a deep state. At the third level, you just turn into love. From now on you can always love, your love becomes infinite.

Everyone talks about truth, everyone talks about love, but you rarely meet them anywhere. Sex is everywhere. So what is the powerful attraction of sex? Why is this natural attraction even needed?

There are definitely some mysterious, mystical moments in this. First, the desire for sex, which is at the very core of a human being, is not really a desire for sex. Sexual yearning, which comes from the very essence of human nature, is not really sexual desire. That's why people often feel miserable and depressed after having sex. People want to get rid of sex simply because they don't find anything in it.

Perhaps this longing is a craving for something else. Perhaps this craving has the deepest religious significance. And it consists in the fact that people are able to comprehend the depth of their being only through sex. In ordinary life they gain a variety of experiences, they go to shops, do business, earn money, but only the experience of sexual intercourse gives them the key to the very depths of the human being. And there, at a depth, two things happen to them.

First, at the moment of orgasm, the ego disappears, it is no more. For a moment, the ego dissolves, within a few seconds there is no trace of the human "I". And did you know that in the ultimate religious experience, the "I" also completely disappears? That true religion also dissolves the ego?

Secondly, time disappears in sex. Timelessness arises. In the experience of the enlightened, time does not exist. The enlightened one goes beyond it. There is no past, no future, only the present. This is the second thing that happens during sex - there is no past, no future, for a moment time disappears.

These two phenomena are the two most important components of the religious experience: egolessness and timelessness. But why do we crave it so much? Because the soul appears only when the ego leaves, and the divine penetrates us only when time dissolves. Spiritual experience underlies the sexual attraction. If we realize this, we can go beyond sex. If not, then we will remain at the level of sex, and we will die, knowing only a small part of the great energy.

Lightning flashes in the phenomenon of sex, but its nature goes beyond sex. If we can catch the experience coming from the beyond, then we can rise above sex, and only in this way and nothing else.

Those who blindly oppose sex will never be able to go beyond it. They will not be able to understand why we are given this elusive desire, this burning inner desire.

I want to emphasize that the periodic strong desire for sex is a craving for what the superconscious gives us. And you can be free from sex the moment you start experiencing the state of samadhi or out-of-mind without sex. From this day on, you will be free from sex.

If a person who receives a short experience of samadhi with great effort is shown a place where the same experience can be obtained in abundance and "for free", then he will no longer be able to return back - where there is only a little and for great merit. Unless he's crazy of course. When you can get what you experience in sex by other means, you will automatically stop chasing after it, you will start thinking in a different direction.

Because our society is starved for love, we create marriages based on romantic infatuation. Sex cannot be the basis for marriage, because sex is play, fun. If you marry someone just for sex, soon you will be disappointed, because the fun will end, the novelty will go away and unbearable boredom will set in. Marriage is for deep friendship, for deep intimacy. Love, of course, is implied, but this is not the only thing worth getting married or getting married for. Marriage is for spirituality! It must be spiritual! There are many things that cannot be done or known alone. Even your personal growth needs someone to be your mirror, someone so close that you can fully open up to them.

Marriage is not created for sex. We made it sexy ourselves. Yes, there is sex, but there may not be. Marriage is a spiritual community. And if such a marriage happens, then completely different souls will find their birth, qualitatively different souls. If a child is born out of intimacy, then the spiritual side will be stronger. But our marriages are mostly based on sex, just a contract between two people regarding sex. What can be born out of a sex contract?

Our marriages are either sexual contracts or based on romantic love.

In fact, romantic love is a disease. Because you cannot love many, your love accumulates inside. Then it starts to overwhelm you. And then you find someone on whom you can project your excessive love. And then an ordinary woman turns into a heavenly creature, and a man turns out to be like an angel in the flesh. But when the flood ends and you return to normal, it turns out that you have been cruelly deceived. It's just an ordinary man and a completely ordinary woman.

This kind of romantic fever happens to us because of a monogamous upbringing. In a healthy society there is love, not romance. And if there is no romance, then marriage is created on a deeper level, it will never disappoint you. If marriage is made not only for love, but rather for intimacy, for a sense of deep community - for "I-Thou" relationships, for growth not only as "I", but also as "We", then marriage becomes a real school of rejection. ego. But we know nothing about such marriages.

Osho "Sex Matters"