What to do if your wife humiliates you. Is it worth waiting for the best in a relationship if a husband insults his wife and what is the reason for such attacks. Psychologist's advice for men
Many women strive to show that they are the main ones in the family, using the tactics of psychological pressure on their spouse. Reproaches and endless mockery with or without cause become a habit and are a way of self-expression. Life is boring for such women, and there is simply no one to quarrel with and let go of their negative emotions. Their pleasure is the humiliation of another person, the husband is always in the field of view.
Of course, living under the same roof with a person and not having any contact at all is hardly possible. Psychologists identify one key reason why a woman allows herself to be rude towards a man: if she has a higher social position and, therefore, earns many times more than her life partner. Instead of support, a man constantly receives criticism in his address, a wife cuts her lover every day and as a preventive measure.
An unfortunate trend in modern world- most of these couples. Many women are simply used to making all decisions for their chosen ones. It is much easier to command than to seek a compromise. A calm and balanced man is ready to follow any instructions of his woman, so long as she does not "saw" him. The lady feels like a commander, because if she does not give an order, it is unlikely that anything will be done at all. At least they see this situation in their own light and will not tolerate if a man does not adhere to the rules they have established.
A woman humiliates a man because she herself has many masculine qualities and therefore she suppresses her partner. On a subconscious level, it seems to her that humiliation will allow her to suppress the male in herself, but in the end everything turns out exactly the opposite. How to get out of this vicious circle? Only feelings and the very balance of the balance of the feminine and masculine in oneself will help in such a situation. Instead of taking and sorting out this imbalance that is present, a person begins to criticize and actively express his emotions in order to quickly get rid of the energy of the collision of two opposites inside.
How to save a relationship?
Is it possible to somehow come to an understanding and find a way out of this situation? Partners simply do not understand each other, they speak different languages, neglecting the desires of the second half. What kind of respect are we talking about? But it all starts with him! Over the years, a man spends more and more time at home, preferring to watch football on TV and buy beer. This infuriates a woman, and she arranges regular tantrums about this - and again everything is in a circle.
It is not worth continuing to remain silent, it is necessary to gather your thoughts and act. You are unlikely to succeed in remaking a person, but you always need to talk about the problem. By revealing your vectors, you will gradually learn more facets of similarity and difference, and you can play well on this contrast. If the second half has a desire, you can go to an appointment with a psychologist who will help you sort out all your experiences and unravel this emotional tangle. You should make a good habit: just spend more time alone with each other, please with surprises and small gifts. Maybe your wife just lacks attention, and she is trying to piss off a harsh man who rarely speaks words of love and so often keeps all his emotions under control.
It's never too late to reconsider your own behavior, because none of us are perfect, and it's easier to complain to friends about your woman than to do something. It's easier to run away from the problem for years, but this snowball accumulates and very soon it will cover you headlong, like an avalanche. Watch your wife, she probably lacks hobbies, girlfriends, something new and bright in her life. Try to push her to this thought and see how a woman will change next to you, who until recently fought in hysterics, sprinkled you with curses and sent you on all four sides.
Remember one thing: nothing can be perfect, and relationships in a couple are always built differently. Someone is always cold and distant, others have endless passions, and there are those who have prescribed the conditions of their interaction in the marriage contract. Relationships in couples are different, but first of all, there should be respect and awareness that you are doing something wrong. It is never too late to find the right words and just apologize, remember this when you once again start a scandal, or vice versa, silently listen to your wife in the kitchen.
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Therefore, the spouse must try to prevent the wife from even thinking about his indifference. You must always be courteous and attentive to a woman.
- When aggression on the part of a woman is due to problems with her health, there is only one way out - to see a doctor as soon as possible. It is the husband who should notice dangerous changes in the behavior of his wife and make a timely decision to visit a specialist of the appropriate profile. It is not uncommon for prolonged depression and a constant negative attitude to end in a suicide attempt. The attention of the husband will help to notice the signs in time possible disease wife and prevent a disastrous outcome.
- If the wife's behavior model is copied from the family of her parents, it will be quite difficult to cope with the situation.
- The wife is used to doing this. If at the very beginning of the relationship a man was silent, when his wife first humiliated him, then it became fixed in her mind that he allowed such behavior.
- The husband did not indicate his dominant or at least equal position with his wife in the family hierarchy.
Attention
The wife will become a little happier and will stop taking out her anger caused by fatigue on her husband.
- If a man has not hugged and kissed his wife for a long time, he needs to take care of it. You should not try to hug a woman when she is angry with her husband and expresses her claims - in this case, hugs will be regarded not as a sign of attention, but as an attempt to extinguish the conflict through manipulation.
Many women strive to show that they are the main ones in the family, using the tactics of psychological pressure on their spouse. Reproaches and endless mockery with or without cause become a habit and are a way of self-expression. Life is boring for such women, and there is simply no one to quarrel with and let go of their negative emotions. Their pleasure is the humiliation of another person, the husband is always in the field of view. Content:
- What actions should be taken if the wife humiliates her husband?
- How to save a relationship?
- Enough to endure it: the man defends his point of view
Of course, living under the same roof with a person and not having any contact at all is hardly possible.
wife insults
Under no circumstances should this be done. Tell your spouse that if she is worried about your health, let her tell you about it quietly so that no one will hear. You can’t humiliate a man, especially in public, as this greatly reduces self-esteem and kills feelings.
How to make a wife not humiliate her husband. So that your wife does not humiliate you, try to talk to her and explain that with every scandal your feelings fade away. And all this can end in parting, and forever. Also say that you are a man first and will not allow you to communicate in this tone and in this way. Find out what to give for a wedding. How to behave so that your wife does not humiliate you. If a woman even once allows herself to humiliate you with impunity, she will repeat it again and again.
What to do if a wife humiliates her husband?
Any person will be horrified when he finds out what kind of example is set for children, and will try to explain to a woman that in no case should you make a fuss in the presence of a child. When the spouse realizes that everyone unanimously condemns her behavior, she most likely will no longer risk doing this. If you cannot change the unsatisfactory relationship on your own, it is advisable to contact a family psychologist.
Modern psychology is able to answer many questions family life, in particular, to resolve conflicts and contribute to the establishment of harmonious relationships in marriage.
Why does a wife humiliate her husband?
He drew attention to the following topic: “if a husband insults his wife” “A husband should not say to his wife that she is not beautiful, and the wife should not say to her husband that he is stupid. If a wife says such words, then what is her intelligence if she married him? And a husband, if he points out the shortcomings of a woman, is not only stupid, but also dishonorable.
Wife offends 1. Divorce on her initiative, as soon as she has a promising vasek. And she will tell you that she didn’t feel like a woman with you, that you don’t understand her, you don’t help, you don’t earn money, sex with you is a torment for her and in general you are a goat.
2. Divorce, again on her initiative, as a result of the measures you are taking to normalize the situation. Because such a situation will require rather drastic measures. The wife saws her husband, one of the reasons for quarrels and partings.
You definitely need to know what to do, what to do if the wife insults!
But women in such a situation behave like children who, being capricious and disobedient, try to attract the attention of their parents.
- In the parental family of the wife there was a similar model of behavior. If the wife grew up in a house where the mother of the family constantly insulted and humiliated her father, then she can, without hesitation, copy such relationships in her own adult life.
- The wife is jealous of the children to her husband.
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What to do if a wife humiliates her husband?
What to do if the wife humiliates her husband.
How often do we see a wife humiliate her husband? Often. At the same time, the woman is trying to show that she is the main one in the family, but she is very mistaken. It often happens that a woman reproaches her husband for no reason. Just because she is bored, there is no one to quarrel with. There is a type of wife who takes pleasure in humiliating another person, in this case, her husband.
What are the reasons for the humiliation of a husband by his wife?
Very often a wife humiliates her husband if she earns more and has a higher social position. Instead of supporting a loved one and inspiring them to do some deeds that would help in improving their financial situation, she constantly “nags”.
What to do if a woman humiliates a man.
We often see a picture at a party, when the ubiquitous wife controls how much her husband drank. And he does it publicly. Under no circumstances should this be done. Tell your spouse that if she is worried about your health, let her tell you about it quietly so that no one will hear. You can’t humiliate a man, especially in public, as this greatly reduces self-esteem and kills feelings.
How to make a wife not humiliate her husband.
So that your wife does not humiliate you, try to talk to her and explain that with every scandal your feelings fade away. And all this can end in parting, and forever. Also say that you are a man first and will not allow you to communicate in this tone and in this way. Find out what to give for a wedding.
How to behave so that your wife does not humiliate you.
If a woman even once allows herself to humiliate you with impunity, she will repeat it again and again. Therefore, after the first insult, say that in the future, if she allows herself such behavior, you will not communicate with her. And in general, she can lose you. Most women are afraid to be alone. 
What to do if the wife humiliates?
You should never let your wife talk to you disrespectfully in front of the kids. If a child sees your humiliation, he will never respect you. And this is unacceptable. You are the head of the family! And point! Find out what you need for a wedding.
The wife humiliates her husband, how to behave and what to do?
There is an exception to the rule when a woman is experiencing postpartum depression. But in this case, kindly and gently, explain to your beloved that this is a temporary phenomenon. Offer your help, and then, perhaps, you will not hear humiliating words addressed to you.
Be patient but fair. Do not forget about your "I". And don't let yourself be trampled into the dirt.
You are men!
PSYCHOLOGIST'S ADVICE
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Keyhole: "My wife always insults me"
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My wife and I are very different, - says Nikolai. - I am calm and compromising. She is active and proud. I love her. Despite all the shortcomings, she is the best. Only one trait of her character does not allow us to stay together - she is very rude.
The wife is never shy in expressions. Even swearing is like native to her. And when necessary, she uses it. I tolerate it. I am terribly uncomfortable when someone swears. But if I make a remark to her, she rejects me. And it's also awkward.
The slightest oversight on my part, which one might not notice, for example, dripped tea on the floor, it turns into a tragedy and scandal. One winds on the other, grows like a snowball. And I'm already guilty of all mortal sins. She turns herself on, goes to scream, calls names. This is very embarrassing! I certainly did not deserve such insults for spilling a drop of tea on the floor. And why, for every little thing, do I need to remember everything that I did wrong?! Isn't it time to forget that two years ago I forgot to close the window and her beloved cat fell out into the street and got lost? Or that I scratched my car six months ago while parking in the yard? Even a cup that was broken last week is still relevant. And I think my wife will remember her for a couple more months.
The most innocent insult is a clinical idiot. This has become my favorite feature of her lately. This is where it usually starts. And then it develops to such a point that it is simply a shame to speak.
At the same time, after the scandal, she never asks for forgiveness, even if she obviously overdoes it. He considers himself absolutely right in everything. And, no matter how ridiculous, she is waiting for me to come to her with an apology. Now this is driving me crazy! No matter how calm I am by nature, but to endure all this, to live like this every day is unbearable!
PSYCHOLOGIST'S OPINION
Inna SHIFANOVA:
Nicholas and his wife have a very different upbringing. Apparently, the girl grew up in a family where screaming and scandal were considered the norm, and in Nikolai's family express negative emotions was not accepted. But in this situation, something else is alarming - increased attention to detail. The wife reproaches the guy for breaking the mug and opening the window. This suggests that something is broken in their relationship. Apparently, mutual tenderness has passed. Or the feeling that united them before has passed. In any case, their problems are much deeper than just the rudeness of his wife. After all, she had been rude before, and Nikolai was fine with that.
“Sister-in-law evicted us from home”
My daughter-in-law got what she wanted! Anna says. - For the sake of this I came to Moscow, for the sake of this I slept with my son. For the sake of this, she gave birth to a child, when with bare hands couldn't take it! And now, please, she lives in our three-room apartment, and she pushed us all into a one-room apartment!
My daughter-in-law is a model. On it, you can write books about impudent provincial women who came to conquer the capital and rake in everything for themselves. Our Lenochka is a flower girl in appearance. You can't tell from her what she really is!
I met my son a year and a half ago. Enough so for him undertook, immediately came to get acquainted with us. I hinted to my son that the girl was insincerely communicating with him, that the benefits of civilization seduced her, and not his nature. He waved it off, yelled. And now I got mine!
She quickly took him to the registry office. Then my son began to understand who he had contacted, and it seemed that he was already ready to take the first smart step in his life - to divorce her, and she foresaw this, she became pregnant. Yes, and kept it a secret at first. Because when she said it, it was already too late to do anything. Smart, prudent!
A win-win! The son, of course, softened. He began to indulge her in everything.
A child was born - and that's it. Now, I'm afraid, everything is already lost for my husband and I - the girl threw us out of her life, the life of our son and grandson.
The son persuaded her husband to rewrite a large apartment for them. They strongly advised us to move to a one-room apartment, which we built just for our son. But all decisions are made by my husband. He succumbed to persuasion, and he loves his grandson very much and does not understand why the daughter-in-law seems to me such a monster. In general, everything turned out as she had planned from the very beginning. And the fact that we laid down our lives to achieve all this, of course, no one remembers. Our lives are on the side.
PSYCHOLOGIST'S OPINION
Inna SHIFANOVA:
The fact that the girl became pregnant on the eve of the divorce and hid this fact, of course, is alarming and makes one doubt her sincerity. But in any case, at the moment, Anna can no longer change anything - all decisions are made for her. In principle, the situation may worsen, and the daughter-in-law will forbid Anna to communicate with her grandson. However, if you maintain at least formally neutral relations with the girl, then this will not happen. And you can't lose contact with your son.
If you are hooked by these stories or there is a situation that you want to discuss with the readers of our newspaper, write. We are waiting for your letters (preferably with a photo) by mail marked: Moscow department, to the "Keyhole"; By e-mail: [email protected]
Some interesting statistics. The overwhelming majority of readers of this site are women.
Indeed, women are more inclined to seek solutions to their problems, discuss them and ask for advice. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to hush up their problems, because a man is strong and steadfast, he will deal with his problems himself, right?
Based on these statistics, I am increasingly starting to write articles with an eye specifically on the female audience. But resentment is a universal thing, and therefore it is impossible not to touch on men's feelings. The fact that men don't like to talk openly about their problems doesn't mean that women experience resentment on average more often than men. In addition, resentment experienced by men can often be stronger due to the fact that they do not often give it an outlet.
In what ways does a man experience resentment? Of course, in relatives. And of course, one of these relationships is marriage. It often happens that a young man falls in love without memory and, against the backdrop of sweet expectations of a happy future together, makes a woman an offer. And of course, if the feelings are mutual, at first the relationship is really a fairy tale.
But after a few years, the man suddenly begins to realize that the fairy tale that he painted for himself in his imagination does not correspond to reality at all. And the reason for this is a lack of awareness, a lack of understanding of how women really work, and a lack of knowledge of what should be expected of them. But instead of understanding the situation, he would prefer to withdraw into himself and endure, endure, endure. Until sooner or later the threshold is crossed, and a quarrel occurs, varying in its strength from medium to catastrophic.
I note that this is monogamous relationships. That is, it is expected that the husband and wife will sleep only with each other until the very end, that is, until death or divorce separates. And no one is cheating on anyone, has never cheated and will never cheat. It is immediately clear that the initial premises are not the most realistic, but we will talk about resentment in open and “closed” relationships another time. In the meantime, here's how a wife can hurt her husband without realizing it.
How a Wife Hurts Her Husband in 6 Different Ways
1. Denial of sex. This is not without reason in the first place, since this is almost the surest way to ruin a man's life in marriage. Dear women, every time you refuse sex to your regular sexual partner, it is a painful blow.
You see what's the matter ... Let's talk openly. Men are lustful animals. They want sex all the time. Whether married or not. Though he is 20 years old, even if he is 50. Rich or poor, ugly or handsome, a young sexy male fucker-bachelor or a modest middle-aged fat loser-married man. In sadness or joy, in grief or resentment - men always want sex.
Of course, the frequency of the question varies from man to man. Libido is different for everyone - someone wants sex 5 times a week, someone even once will be enough. It doesn't change the essence. The bottom line is that regardless of his character, he expects that since he is with a woman, and he has a relationship with her, this automatically implies regular sex with her. Always.
Yes, yes, I know what you can say. “It is not my duty to satisfy him.” “I am not a prostitute for him, I am the wife and mother of his children”, “Sex is not the most important thing”. But here's the thing - if you're marrying him, if you want a happy relationship, and your relationship is monogamous, I have news for you. It is your duty to fuck your husband. And for your husband, sex is very important, even if it is not the most important thing in a marital relationship. Why is this so important to him? Because he is not only a caring father and faithful husband, but also a lustful animal, as I mentioned above.
Does this mean that I blame or reproach women? In no case! . Therefore, it is necessary to go through the husbands.
Husbands, remember! Did you really expect that that honeymoon that you had at sea, when you fucked with your freshly baked wife several times a day, was the norm? Or is the first year of your relationship the way it will always be? I have news for you - women are biologically designed in such a way that they get bored with the same man in a long-term monogamous relationship over time.
Do you know why? Because the genetic code that people carry in themselves has not changed for millions of years. And this code programmed women to look for a suitable male who would provide them with offspring and protect this offspring (which is funny, these two roles can be performed separately by two different men). How long does it need to be protected for it to get back on its feet and be able to escape? 20 years? 15 years? 10 years? No, less years than the fingers on one hand.
Therefore, from a biological point of view, a woman is “not interested” in sleeping with you for 20 years as it was in the first years of your marriage. Because if you have been living together for a long time, then from a biological, sexual, animal point of view, you are no longer perceived by a woman as a man with whom she sleeps. At least not as much as it used to be. Now you are more like a relative to her, and biology does not allow sleeping with relatives.
But what about emotions? We are not animals, we are people, and not everything is controlled by biology. Yes, this is true, not everything is decided by biology. But emotions are exactly the same biology, and they serve to ensure that you fulfill your biological program. Your male biology has programmed you for sex throughout your life. The point is not that we have more than just biology. The bottom line is that the biology of men and women when it comes to the sexual component of relationships is completely different. She needs to get offspring from a quality male from sex. And you, men, from sex need to spread your biological material across planet Earth. And no social adjustments from above can drown out this fundamental difference between male and female biology, no matter how society denies it, trying to equalize men and women or reduce the importance of biology to nothing.
What does all this mean in terms of the subject matter of this site? After all, the site is not dedicated to evolutionary psychology, but to resentment. And it means the same as always. on his wife, men. If you don’t like the fact that the frequency of sex is decreasing, write it down on paper. And then, when you clean up the offense and see the situation as it is, you will be able to decide what to do. And perhaps you will understand that from now on you can no longer expect that the same woman will be the source of your male joy and satisfaction all your life. But more on that another time...
2. Permanent commands. We are talking about women with a more dominant character. Such women consider themselves “strong and independent”, and in practice this is expressed in attempts to constantly control the situation. In case of discrepancy between the situation and the scenario of events, directives are issued to correct the vector. Such women have a vector for everything, including their husband. So it falls to him, poor fellow.
Here again, men, wake up! A woman commands you only because you allow her to. Yes, there are men who like to obey a woman, but this is not about them. They do not feel offended by this kind of communication with a woman. Therefore, if you are reading these lines, most likely you are not one of them. Clear your mind, rake out all your fears and limiting beliefs, because of which you are not able to resist a woman. And there it will be clear what to do.
3. Attempts to change it. Women marry expecting a man to change over time. Men marry hoping that a woman will never change. Please, here's Venus and Mars, that's it. A man marries, hoping that everything will be as it was at the very beginning. A stable relationship is one that doesn't change.
Give a man a beautiful, smart, cool woman with big breasts and / or an elastic ass + a set of all the qualities he likes, and he will be happy. If only it never changed, always remained as it is.
But this is only from a male point of view. From a female point of view, stable relationships are those that have development. Women are more dynamic beings than men.
Women, first of all, with that very dominant character, expect that a man will adapt to new circumstances and, as a result, change if necessary.
Amendment - change if necessary to her. Personally, he may not have any intention of changing, for why? And so everything is fine. But the fact that his wife now and then criticizes him and hints that it is impossible to do this, or that it should be better, this eventually begins to settle in him in the form of resentment.
4. Excessive use of the phrases “You always…”, “You never…”, etc. Oh, women love it. "You never help my mom." "You always leave the toilet seat up." And well, are you really ready to swear that he Always doing something or never doesn't do something there? You don't have to answer, I already know the answer.
Again, the trick is the difference between the communication styles of men and women. The fact that for men and for women these words mean different things. For a man, the words "always" and "never" are defined by their lexical meanings which can be viewed in explanatory dictionary. For a woman, these words are subject to the expression of those emotions that she experiences at one time or another. And if the emotions are strong enough, they bypass the linguistic filters in a woman's head, and, ultimately, are displayed in the form of the words "always" and "never".
Men, do not attach any importance to this - just get used to the fact that women work this way - there will be less resentment. Do not cling to the words, you are taking them out of context - the context of her emotional state here and now. And the resentment that you have already accumulated - what do we do with it? We are working on it, of course. Without pity.
5. Making him responsible for his emotional well-being. It should be noted that not only women do this, everyone does it. And men, and old people, and children. And in relation to everything around. It's not me who's offended, it's you who offended me. It's not me who is a fool and a lazy person, this state is bad and steals. Etc.
But still, if we compare men and women in marital relationships, women more often behave with men in such a way that it is the husband's fault that she is in a bad mood. An interesting seeming contradiction. On the one hand, women are more emotional, and on the other hand, they are less likely to realize what causes their emotions. And as a result, they do not realize that when they blame their husband for their emotions, nothing changes. He doesn't understand what he can do to you. Other than apologizing for nothing on the machine to calm you down.
But men, again, the responsibility for the offense is on you. You, too, do not shine with awareness if you suffer from such situations. After all, it happened that your wife directed her bad mood at you, and you have already formed a sense of guilt in yourself. Then you take responsibility for her bad mood on yourself and begin to accumulate resentment, slowly hating yourself more and more along the way. No problem, work it out.
6. Indifference to his efforts. Do you want to hurt your husband? Stop appreciating what he regularly does for you and your children.
A single man does not need so much money to maintain his existence at the same level. This means that a lot of his motivation to work harder is you and possibly your kids. Alas, often this is not realized or forgotten over time.
A single man does not need to help your mother, fool himself with communication with your relatives, or be faithful for decades. Alas, often this is not realized or forgotten over time.
By no means do I mean that men in marriage make greater efforts to preserve them than women. Not at all. Forgetfulness in relation to each other is a universal human defect, inherent in both men and women. Fortunately, you can fight it - after all, studies were invented for a reason.
Work hard, husbands and wives!
What is the conclusion of all this? There are two of them. The first is mutual understanding between men and women and a conscious attitude to how differently women and men perceive reality and communicate - this is the key to harmonious relations. Second - if there is a grudge against your marriage partner - work it out! At the same time, in the process of clearing your brain, you will acquire the necessary transparency of awareness so that you do not have such problems in the future, regardless of your gender or marital status.
The well-known truth is, "All that women really want is to be loved, and that's all, men really want to be respected." Not a single man is delighted with screams and reproaches, and even more so with insults. Abusive attitude of a wife towards her husband reduces his self-confidence and humiliates him as a man.
A wife will insult her husband only in one case - if she does not respect him.
What are the men - innocent - women's screams driven to?
When the wife constantly screams, then even the calmest man breaks down sooner or later, and they are already screaming at each other. That's just the wife in the end achieves that the husband leaves, and she remains alone. She did not achieve anything with her cries, she does not understand that the strength of a woman lies elsewhere. But a bunch of nerves to myself and ex-husband patted. Although he could have stayed, he definitely had or will have a mistress.
If a husband insults his wife
Developing a project about happiness in relationships, dating kind people, I keep track of what is interesting, what topics they are looking for, what is important, what is not important. He drew attention to the following topic: “if a husband insults his wife”
“A husband should not say to his wife that she is not beautiful, and a wife should not say to her husband that he is stupid. If a wife says such words, then what is her intelligence if she married him? And a husband, if he points out the shortcomings of a woman, is not only stupid, but also dishonorable.
wife insults
1. Divorce on her initiative, as soon as she has a promising vasek. And she will tell you that she didn’t feel like a woman with you, that you don’t understand her, you don’t help, you don’t earn money, sex with you is a torment for her and in general you are a goat. 2. Divorce, again on her initiative, as a result of the measures you are taking to normalize the situation. Because such a situation will require rather drastic measures.
The wife saws her husband, one of the reasons for quarrels and partings.
Hello readers of the blog of the lost romance, the topic of today's article sounds like this: a wife nags her husband, one of the reasons for quarrels and partings. Why do women do this? How might this affect future relationships? And what should a man do in such a situation?
I have already touched on this issue a little in the article criticism in relationships. but I would like to consider it in detail separately in this post.
Keyhole: "My wife always insults me" Comments: 14
“My wife and I are very different,” Nikolai says. — I am calm and compromising. She is active and proud. I love her. Despite all the shortcomings, she is the best. Only one trait of her character does not allow us to stay together - she is very rude.
The wife is never shy in expressions. Even swearing is like native to her. And when necessary, she uses it. I tolerate it. I am terribly uncomfortable when someone swears.
Women often come to psychologists with complaints that their husband does not respect them. Disrespect can manifest itself in many ways - lack of courtesy, insults, or even physical violence. But remember, when you first met your husband, during the first meetings and romantic courtship, was there any respect on his part? Most likely, it was, otherwise you would hardly have married your spouse.
Husband insults me
I'm married. 2 years. 5 years older than my husband (I'm 28). She married for love. However, now I'm starting to doubt my feelings. I have a wonderful husband, but only in public. And on a single - home tyrant. In society, he is a golden man: quiet, modest, always showing me signs of attention, polite with others. But at home - rude, rude, constantly insults, humiliates, etc. As soon as we quarrel (this is sure to bring me to tears), and immediately everything becomes fine.
The husband constantly yells and insults. Why does a husband yell at his wife?
My husband constantly yells at me, - women complain to psychologists, not knowing what to do. And it is already considered normal that there are quarrels in the family. scandals and screams become an integral part of daily life. To cope with them there is no strength, no opportunity, no elementary understanding of how. Whether to accept as the norm that a husband constantly yells and insults his wife, or is it time to end such a relationship. despite the presence of a child and the inability to go anywhere?
In general, family conflicts are, unfortunately, the norm, without them as such, they will not work out, but the conflict should not turn into an aggressive and uncontrollable form in which one of the partners allows himself regular insults and transitions to personalities.
It is unpleasant for any man to listen to insults addressed to him from a person with whom he connected his life with family ties. It's humiliating. The partner wants to know the reasons for the aggressive behavior of the chosen one, how to behave in this situation and whether it is possible to save the marriage.
Causes
There are various reasons for the humiliation of the head of the family by the representative of the weaker sex.
- The reason may be high earnings or the status of his wife. She earns more and considers herself entitled to humiliate her husband, who is not the main breadwinner, to find fault with him. The man is losing control. It is difficult for him to compete with a lucky lady.
- Some women begin to compare their spouse with a more successful neighbor, acquaintance, friend's husband. The wife is annoyed that they have a decent income, which, as it seems to her, is higher than their material well-being.
Instead of providing support, a woman insults and humiliates her husband, reduces his authority in the eyes of children. The chosen one forgets that it is she who is called upon to inspire her betrothed to masculine deeds, to financial success.
- Sometimes aggressive behavior appears as a result of a misunderstanding of the personality psychology of the chosen one. The wife neglects his desires, gets angry with him, undeservedly offends the faithful, insults him in every possible way. There is no harmony and respect for each other in such relations.
- Some people take pleasure in humiliating another person, especially their own spouse.
- Sometimes women have no one to quarrel with. She chooses her husband as an object for a splash of her negative emotions.
- Sometimes a wife humiliates her husband in public, reprimands in the presence of strangers. In this case, it is necessary to talk with the chosen one face to face, explain to her that she can express any displeasure to him quietly, in a whisper, or present her claims later in private.
- Often a woman ceases to have enough compliments and attention from her beloved. On a subconscious level, she tries to draw attention to her person with screams and swearing. The spouse does not realize that it is impossible to return love with aggressive behavior. The gap that has arisen between a married couple is widening.
- If the parent family had a similar pattern of behavior. The mother always dominated, humiliating and insulting her husband. The daughter just copies the actions of the parent.
- A woman may have too many household responsibilities, and her husband does not want to help her. In this case, she has an inadequate reaction to the behavior of the chosen one. The reason is a banal overwork: too many worries fell on her shoulders. The inaction of the faithful causes negative emotions on the part of the wife.
- Sometimes a lady cannot cope with the load at work, and at home she breaks down on her own husband.
- Health problems, hormonal disruptions can also cause causeless mood swings in a woman.
- The wife may experience aggression due to the jealousy of the children to the betrothed. A domineering woman tries to suppress the personality of her husband and her children, who involuntarily begin to reach out to a soft and accommodating father. The mother begins to deliberately say unpleasant things about their adored parent in front of the children, to scold and humiliate him. The younger generation, instead of the expected contempt for a weak man, begins to show pity. The woman is even more jealous of the children.
What can offend him?
Some women throw all their negative emotions, which have nothing to do with their husband, onto him. Thus, the husband becomes the culprit of all her troubles. Often, a man begins to form a sense of guilt. Resentment builds up in his heart. The self-esteem of a man decreases, feelings for the missus gradually fade away. Endless control on the part of the chosen one, providing a scenario for further actions of a man greatly strains him. Regularly received female directives offend the partner.
An attempt by a spouse to change her chosen one does not lead to success. The wife constantly criticizes her husband, calls him names, thereby trying to adjust to her ideal. Gradually, male grievances accumulate. He is no longer able to tolerate the bad attitude of the chosen one. A painful blow inflicted on a man's pride is often an unreasonable refusal of the second half in intimacy. This resentment will not go away on its own. It needs to be worked out. An entry on a piece of paper about a decrease in the frequency of sex, a look at the situation from the outside will help you make the right decision.
A husband can hold a grudge against his wife if she ignores his efforts to raise children, help with the housework, and an excellent attitude towards her parents and relatives. The husband is trying his best, but the other half does not notice, takes his actions for granted. Appreciate your husband, do not forget to express gratitude to the faithful in time - necessary actions. Different perceptions of the same things by partners widen the gap between spouses.
Accumulated grievances can cause aggression, contribute to the outbreak of quarrels over trifles. Unforgiven grievances can lead to the destruction of a marriage. You don't need to silence them. It's best to work through the problem together. The more grievances accumulate, the more difficult it is to deal with them.
What should a husband do?
Any humiliation and insults on the part of the wife should be stopped immediately. Repeat action is not allowed. After the first case, it is necessary to explain to the woman that negative attacks in his direction are not allowed. The husband will not tolerate them even in the name of love. It is best to immediately notify the woman that repeated humiliation and insults will end in parting. If the wife utters offensive words, humiliates, insults, one should not respond in kind. We need to calm her down, try to find good words reconcile with her. In no case should you raise your voice, try to shout it down. It's good when both have a great sense of humor. It is best to translate insults into jokes.
Neglect in front of children is unacceptable, as respect for the father is reduced. The man should always be the head of the family. The spouse himself should never mock his betrothed and endure ridicule on her part. The exception is toxicosis during pregnancy and postpartum depression. The appearance of a baby in the family can affect the behavior of a woman. During this period, it is necessary to treat the young mother reverently, gently and with great care. An affectionate husband will not become an object for insults and humiliation.
No need to compare the obstinate wife with others. She is the same dear and close person, like a child, whom it is impossible to be offended by. At such moments, it is worth treating your soulmate as a small child. Male power will be preserved if it is possible to make the wife feel fragility. The chosen one should feel in reliable male hands.
How to save a marriage?
It is not easy to regain the trust and love of a wife. The imposition of their own conditions, rudeness, abuse, nit-picking have a destructive effect on marital relations. Feelings in such situations weaken. The desire of the wife to be the head of the family, to command her husband often leads to discord and a complete break in relations. It takes a lot of patience to save a marriage.
It is easy to love a tender, flexible soul mate. It is necessary to work hard to surround with care and attention a grumpy and hysterical betrothed. This is a kind of feat. The secret of family happiness lies in caring for each other. Choosing the right response to the wife's accusations is an important factor. In some situations, an apology is sufficient. The regular manifestation of tenderness, attention and love strengthens the marital bond. A woman wants to see a reliable man next to her. Feeling like a stone wall, she turns into a meek wife. A friendly discussion of pressing problems leads to family unity. Joint exits to various events, walks strengthen the relationship of the spouses. visit various exhibitions, cinemas, museums unite the family. You can captivate your wife with your hobby and make it common.
It is necessary to develop the habit of periodically presenting small gifts to each other, to please the chosen one with pleasant surprises. After all, a woman may simply lack the attention of a restrained husband. We must learn to bring joy to a loved one, to give a good mood.
Not only life unites family ties. The overall family budget will help to avoid reproaches related to the financial insolvency of a man. Hiding money is unacceptable. Reliance on a loved one is a sign friendly family. A woman with a good income should be glad that she has the opportunity to help her loved ones and relatives. Kindness and selflessness contribute to the creation of a strong family.
The value system needs to be changed. The transition from the pursuit of material wealth to the spiritual plane leads to a rich life. It doesn't matter who is the main breadwinner in the family, if only the marital hearth was filled with warmth and love. It is important to make every effort to change the leader in a marital relationship. The wise head of the family is revered by the household, listen to his advice. When a wife tries to restrain her irritation and completely obey her husband, then unanimity is born in the family. The ability to hear each other eliminates all differences.
Hello dear readers! “Every day is not much better than the previous one. Much easier when the husband is at work. You look forward to the evening with a certain shudder. Oh, it's better not to come home at all. How much longer am I going to endure all this? - that's what a third of women on the planet think. The situation is not so rare.
When asked why a husband insults and humiliates his wife, psychology gives many disappointing answers, but you need to understand them. Since, I am sure that 99.9% of women have ever experienced this phenomenon. Many of them came out of the situation not always proudly throwing their heads up and closing the door behind them.
Are you all right
If a husband constantly insults and humiliates his wife, finds a reason to get to the bottom of the fact that she is a “terrible mistress”, “a disgusting mother”, “no lover” - it is unlikely that he wants to correct a woman and make her in all respects.
The reason is never so simple and obvious. You won't be able to fix everything. It won't help pay off. Just think, most likely, you are not married for the first day, you have not become worse, you have not forgotten about the children. Most likely the reason is not in you, but in your husband.
What is wrong with him? There is a possibility that he is dissatisfied with himself. It is he who does not have a high salary, he has not achieved success in business, he is not appreciated at work. He does not want to do something with himself, correct the situation and even look at real problems. Much easier to correct you.
Pointing out to a man about his own failures is not an option. He knows about them, but does not even think about deciding something. You will only aggravate the situation, make him more angry. The only way out is to leave or wait until he understands the true reason for his discontent. The latter option can take years, someone takes less.
Alcohol
In a state of intoxication, men become more relaxed. No wonder they say that the sober in the head, then the drunk on the tongue. Women who live with husbands who only abuse them when he's drunk console themselves: "It's not him talking, it's all alcohol."
In fact, there is a problem even when he is sober, although in this case he can suppress his own thoughts,.
If a man has reached the point that he insults and humiliates you when strangers, in the presence of children, it is not necessary to wait for the situation to change and suddenly he will turn from a toad into a prince. He is already used to treating you this way, he is comfortable in this way to solve his problems.
It is likely that the situation will soon spill over into a sober life. If a person once crossed some line, he will be able to do it in a sober state. This will take some time, but it will definitely happen again.
By the way, some women themselves provoke men to such behavior. It lights up, the woman adds fuel to the fire, and as a result, a quarrel flares up. It is not necessary to immediately start sawing your husband. For the sake of experimentation, I would suggest that you try not drinking with him and see what happens. Perhaps the real problem is you? Maybe you are making him react that way.
Another woman
Another reason for constant conflicts may be that he does not stop comparing you with another: she cooks better, understands him, cares. With her he feels
True reason
Most important point for a woman - to understand the true cause of discontent. In each specific situation, it can be different.
For example, in families with a small child, the young man ceases to feel the care of his wife. He does not want to share his wife with the baby, but he cannot say this. She can object to this with quite adequate arguments or simply bulge her eyes in condemnation.
He himself understands that. However, he can't help himself. His dissatisfaction is expressed in those moments to which he can get to the bottom and be right.
I would like to recommend the book The Secret of Successful Families» Artem Tolokonin. The author talks about mature love, about how to improve or. You will learn a little more about your husband, understand whether you need such a marriage and, if you want, find harmony.
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