Barbara Cher, Annie Gottlib dreaming is not harmful. How to get what you really want. The book "Dreaming Not Harmful" Barbara Cher: What I want to remember how to get what you want Barbara Cher

Scientific editor of Alik Kalaide

Published with the permission of the literary agency Andrew Nurnberg

No part of this book can be reproduced in whatever form without the written permission of copyright holders.

* * *

Dedicated to my mom, which always believed in me

Preface

It is difficult to believe that thirty years have passed from the moment when I kept my first book in my hands, looking at the cover with the title "Dream not harmful" and my name. My life has not changed. At least not immediately. As ten years before, I alone raised two boys, worked hard and hardly reduced the ends with the ends. I'm not saying that I was almost forty-five and at the standards of 1979 it was believed that it was too late to start something late, the more woman.

But that day I felt a Cinderella on the ball, because my book was published. Everything was like a dream. In the depths of the soul, I was always afraid that I would live life and no one would know about me. Now everything was in order. I wrote a book, a good book, and did not doubt it, because it was based on a carefully designed two-day seminar, which was successfully held for almost three years. I knew that this seminar helped people. In my eyes, they used my techniques to help each other, it would seem impossible, discovered our work, sought their plays to put in New York theaters, received grants and drove to photograph local children in Appalachi, went to the prestigious legal The faculty and ended it, found ways, assistance and adopted children. These dreams were just as unique as their owners.

I was hoping that "dreaming is not harmful" will help people, as my seminar helped them, but was not sure about that. The seminars were recorded (a lot of audio cassettes - after all, everyone lasted about twelve hours), in the book everything was staggered by the same words as in the classroom. But there people worked face to face, and I was worried that the book would not be able to provide the right impact.

I did not have to worry about long.

A few weeks after the release of the book, I began to receive letters. Real letters in envelopes, with an address written from hand, and with brands. At first, several letters came per week, then more and more, and in six months my closet was already clogged with cardboard boxes with letters. The readers thanked me for the practical approach and simplicity - for the fact that I understand their life, for helping them to pay attention to your dreams. I warned that they would face fear and negative, and they appreciated it. They liked my advice to complain to anyone from time to time.

Some, paying attention to the training origin "Dreaming not harmful," began to read my book in groups. Sometimes they left the year to pass it together and embody their dreams. Some said that they studied "dreaming not harmful" in the course of college, others wanted to create "teams of success", using a book as a guide, and asked to help them in this. Many just read the book and said that they no longer feel lonely. Letters they let me in their lives, wanted to say that thanks to "dreaming not harmful" understood, heard and gained help. I experienced nothing comparable feeling.

Already thirty years have passed, and I still receive thank you letters, and sometimes it's sometimes from people who have been honored to "dream not harmful" and inform me that the book helps them again and again. Sometimes I even write their mature children.

I have a small stack of the very first letters. And more - several emails that continue to come so far. But regardless of how many reviews I get, I always and I think it is for the honor, and I worry when I read them, and I try to answer personally.

Since 1979, "Dreaming is not harmful" is constantly reprinted. Publishers happily took my new manuscripts and published new books, whose fate also developed successfully.

Thanks to "dreaming not harmful," I became a "someone." Journalists appealed for comments for their articles. I performed hundreds of times before the most different audiences - from the largest companies from the Fortune 100 list and firms engaged in work abroad for abbreviated employees, to the parental conferences on ancill and gifted children in rural schools. I performed in the USA, Canada, Australia and Western Europe, and even in countries that have recently accustomed from the Iron Curtain and will again learn to dream.

By the time, when these lines are written, I prepared five special issues of my speeches for marathons to collect funds in support of public television channels and plan to continue. Sometimes I will even find out at the airports, which is surprising, because I usually after distant flights, I'm disheveled, tired, and even with a dog in my arms. I am not like a celebrity, and do not appeal to me as a celebrity. We are talking like old familiar, and I like it very much.

From a personal point of view, the success of "dreaming is not harmful" surpassed all my expectations. I got a rare and amazing opportunity to help people fulfill their dreams, offering them practical and working techniques. Help, even if they do not see their goal, do not imagine how to believe in ourselves, or cannot save a positive attitude. I make them laugh at your own negative thinking and show that they already have everything to create the life of your dreams. Simply isolation ruffles desire, and the support from the outside works wonders.

Now my message that first sounded in "dreaming is not harmful", found a response from millions of people. Thanks to this, I can make a living, doing what I really love. Like everyone, I had both ups, and falls, but I never got bored. None for a second. Therefore, thirty years flew like an instant.

And it all started with the book you hold in your hands. I hope that "dreaming is not harmful" will give you the same interesting and complete meaning of life as me. Moreover, I hope she will inspire you to help others to fulfill their dreams. It will make me the happiest.

Introduction

This book is written to make you the winner.

No, she is not intended to drive you, as a steep coach in American football - "Go and messengers there all", - if only, of course, you yourself do not strive for this with all your heart. However, I do not think that most of us gives pleasure the opportunity to complete rivals and stay alone on an imaginary vertex. This is just a comforting prize to which those who at one time did not explain what it means to win. I have my own definition - simple and radical.

Win, in my understanding, it means to get what you want. Not that your dad and mom would like for you, not what you think is achievable in this world, namely what you want you are yours Desires, fantasies and dreams. A person becomes the winner when he loves his life when every morning gets up, rejoicing a new day when he likes what he does, even if sometimes it happens a little scary.

Is it about you? If not, what needs to be changed to become the winner? What is your most cherished dream? Maybe lead a quiet peaceful life on his farm in two hectares? Spaw from a huge rolls-roois under the outbreak of reporter cameras? Photographing rhinos in Africa, to become the vice-president of the company to which you are currently working, adopt a child, make a film ... Start your own business or learn to play piano ... Open the theater with a restaurant or get a pilot license? Your dream is just as unique as you yourself. But whatever it is - a modest or grandiose, fantastic or real, distant, like the moon in the night sky, or quite close, - I want it right now you start to perceive her seriously.

We have always been taught that dreams are something frivolous, superficial, but in fact everything is not at all. This is not a pellery that can and wait until you are "serious" affairs. This is a need. What you want is what you need. Your cherished dream is rooted in your essence itself, it consists of information about who you are now and who can become. You must take care of her. You must respect it. And, above all, she should have.

This is available to you. You can.

Major! You have already heard such. And if you look like me, then some words "you can!" Enough so that the alarming bell sounded. "The last time I bought it, my forehead broke! The world of sings, and I am not in better form. I do not think that again is ready to all these things with positive thinking. You may have. And I experienced it on my own skull, and I know that I can not. "

I have seen a lot of books and programs that promise that only ten simple steps to self-esteem, self-discipline, will of will and positive thinking, and I know what I say. This book is different. Written for the same people like me. People born without outstanding qualities and lost their hope to acquire them. Can you persistently achieve the goal? Me not. It was worth it on Monday to start sticking at least some routine, I had already threw this thing to the environment. Self-discipline? Once I came out in the morning on a jog. Four years ago. Self confidence? Oh, she overwhelmed me after seminars on achieving success. Grab smoothly for three days. I am a pros in the postponess. I love to watch old movies when you need to do important things. Positive attitude in me is inevitably replaced by seizures of despondency. How once said my benevolent, but tactless friend: "Barbara, if you can do it, then anyone can".

And I did.

Eleven years ago, I landed in New York, divorced, with two young children, without a penny in his pocket and a bachelor's degree of anthropology. (Laugh? So you know how much the right in life from this degree.) We were forced to live on the manual while I was looking for work. Fortunately, I found what I liked. I worked with people, not with papers. Over the next ten years, two very successful cases opened, wrote two books and one tutorial For its seminars, and also raised two healthy and cute boys. (And even lost to nine kilograms. And even quit smoking. Twice.) And at the same time, no drop has changed for the better. I'm still constantly distracted, doing something. Very often staying in a very bad mood. But everything herself achieved and love his life even at the time when he hate himself. According to my own definition, I am a winner. So you can also become them.

To this short word I treat as starving to bread. If ten years ago, some kind of good soul told me how to specifically embody dreams to reality, instead of kindly to confine that it was generally possible, I would save a bunch of time and did not suffer. While I tried to believe in myself and overcome bad habits, failed and blamed himself. So it continued until attempts to correct myself and did not try to come up with a techniques that would work in any conditions (because I was not going to live to the grave, without having received what I wanted to deserve it or not). Then I came to the secret of those who achieved genuine success. The point is not in the superhero genes and not in a steel grip, as the myths say. Everything is much easier. What you need is to know the desired techniques and receive support.

To start creating a life of your dreams, you do not need mantras, self-hypanos, charting programs or new toothpaste. You need practical methods for solving problems, the ability to plan, skills and access to necessary materials, information and contacts. (See Chapter 6, Chapter 7 and Chapter 8.) You need a reasonable strategy for the management of feelings and weaknesses like fear, despondency and laziness that will not go anywhere. (See chapter 5 and chapter 9.) Changes in your life can cause temporary emotional storms in relations with loved ones, and you need to learn how to cope with this, while at the same time getting additional friendly support necessary to take risky decisions. (See chapter 10.)

The "embodiment" part of the book is based on the needs and capabilities of people - such as they are, and not such as they should be. I had to deal with all this on my own, by samples and mistakes. I do not think that you need to go such a heavy way. So I share with you the results of my experiments: techniques tested in the "success teams". Thousands of men and women used them for the incarnation of dreams to reality in a variety of areas - from the creation of equestrian plants before making hand bindings of books, from choral singing to cities planning, from the composition of children's books before selling securities. The second half "dream is not harmful" - a detailed answer to the question "How?". Now I will tell you only one thing: you do not need to change yourself, because, firstly, it is impossible, and secondly, you are so good enough. With the help of a pencil, paper, your imagination, your family and friends, you will create a life support system that will take all the most difficult on yourself and allow you to act with maximum energy.

But, of course, you first have to find out what you want.

The first half of the book is devoted to desires. Unlike the ability to turn dreams into reality, quite real - akin to engineering or carpentom - the ability to desire do not need to learn. People have a congenital, as the ability to fly in birds. So that your imagination gains the wings, you do not need anything additionally, but to get rid of something from what will have to. From the enchanting spell "it is impossible to do." And from the grievous cargo of disappointments, which you probably carry after a previous unsuccessful attempt to fulfill your dream. Many of us never explained how to make a dream with reality, and after several attempts we assured that it is impossible or terribly difficult. So they began to aim below and be content with what seems affordable. But this is what is interesting: the art of performing the desires about which the book tells, it will not work, if you do not invest the most daring hopes and the most cherished dreams. Methods and strategies explain as win, but our desires are extremely important what forThis is the power that activates the entire mechanism.

Our language is full of expressions about impracticiousness and helplessness of desires - "One hotness will not achieve anything", "Want a moon from the sky", "disembodied fantasy", "hopeless dreamer." Chepuha is all. Desires and dreams - the source of all human efforts. See for yourself: Humanity sought to the Moon for many millennia, and in the 20th century we got there. This is what the desire is able together with the ability: it can change reality. Yes, one desire for this is not enough. It, like steam without an engine, just dispel in the air. But the technique without desire resembles a cold and empty engine: it will not work. If something seems complicated, stop and try to understand what it is for you it's hard to: draw up documents? dig a ditch? clean the floor? If necessary, you can do it, but it is incredibly difficult to invest in such an activity and devote her life all my life.

In our society there is a lot of hard-working and responsible people who know as do the case, but never felt that they were allowed to look into themselves and find out what They want to do. If you are from their number, then the first part of the book will be revealed for you. She will help to understand how and why you have lost contact with your dream, tell about simple and pleasant exercises to return it. And then help to do what you love, a real goal. An employment of a favorite thing is far from impracticity or irresponsibility, rather it can be compared with the oil well: you get the release of energy that will raise you to the top of success.

On the other hand, if you started reading a book with a clear understanding of my desires and goals and are looking for only specific instructions for achieving them, you may have a temptation to immediately go to the second part. But still read the first part. It will be easier for you to formulate goals as clearly as possible that half of the victory. I promise, it will expand your ideas about what can be done for one human life.

The famous psychotherapist Rolly Mei wrote a book called "Love and Will". My book is about love and skill, the two most important components of the present success. And now let's go to you.

Part I. Human genius: feeding and care

Chapter 1. Who do you think?

Who do you think? Very interesting question. And how interesting it was, if those that in childhood were asked about this, really wanted to get an explanatory answer. Unfortunately, they were absolutely not needed by them - they had already ready. They spoke:

"Who do you think yourself? Sarah Bernard? Discover this shawl of this minute and wash the dishes! "

"Do you think you? Charles Darwin? Well, remove this frozen turtle from my table and go to make arithmetic! "

"Are you an astronaut? Scientist, like Madame Curie? Movie star? Who do you think at all? "

Familiar? Many of us have heard this question, growing. Usually at that sharp moment when we are especially vulnerable, because they are solved on something for their dreams, plans, cherished thoughts. But only imagine that this issue is asked with interest and participation, without peeling and the usual contempt.

I propose to spend a very simple experiment. I will ask you this question again. But now try to hear the question in it. The question for which you are waiting for your answer. Who do you think?

Exercise 1. Who do you think?
Take a blank sheet of paper (we will use a lot of paper with you) and answer - from several phrases to half of the page - to the question: who do you think you? I'm very interested. What four or five main features determine your personality? There is no right and wrong answers here and there is only one rule: do not think too long and diligently. Just write down that the first will come to mind: "This is me."

Now take a look at your answer. I am more than fifty percent sure you wrote something like:

"I am twenty-eight, I'm a Catholic, do not marry, I work as a secretary in the Firm for the production of electronics, I live in Buffalo."

"Growth 178 cm, weight 79 kg, black-haired, carbonous, Italian, a former football player, vote for Democrats, Vietnam Veteran, a seller of electrical appliances."

"Former teacher, married to a beloved man, a physician, mother of three stunning children: Marty Thirteen Years, Jimmy Eight years and Eliza of five and a half years old."

Or:

"Black, born in Detroit, senior of five children in the family. Father worked at General Motors. He studied at University Wayne, Bachelor. Programmer. The next summer I get married to the girl I love from school. "

When you meet, we usually say something like: "I work here, I live there, married, not married, I make money, I do not earn, my mom is something and something, Protestant, learning at school." Exchange by such data about our lives and work, we think that they have told the main and have some idea about each other.

What can I say? We are mistaken.

Undoubtedly, all this is very important for us. Our life, in fact, consists of life experience, history, roles, relationships, earnings, skills. Something we choose from this. Something from what we call our choice is actually a compromise. Something at all is an accident.

But it is not your essence.

Perhaps you will be surprised, but if I sit next to you, helped choose the goal and plan the ideal life for you, then I would not ask anything like that. I would still like how you earn, if only you do not adore your work. I would not ask about what you usually include in resume - experience, skills, education. Too often, we know how to do what they never chose, what was forced to do, for example, typing texts or draise the floors (as in my case). This is not exactly what we love.

When it comes to choose a deal that you would be with joy and energy, the case, which would bring you a stunning success, your skills are absolutely not important. Moreover, they may even interfere if you are severely wiping them into the background. Forget about them for a while.

Yes, yes, everything is true. I want you to forget about your work now (if only you do not adore it), about your family (even if you adore it), duties, education - about everything that makes up your reality and personality. Do not worry. They will not go anywhere. I know they are important to you. Something from this is necessary and very expensive. But all this is not you. Now focus on to myself.

I'm interested in, what do you like.

You may be able to give an answer. Maybe not. It can be your job, hobbies, sports, movies in the cinema, what you like to read, the subject that would like to study at school, something that entertains you when you happen to meet it, even if nothing really Do not know about it.

There may be several such hobbies. Regardless of the fact that it is a game on guitar, bird watching, sewing, trade in the stock exchange, history of India, is a very important reason why you like it. These are the keys to the fact that you are hiding: to talent, opportunities, your unique look at the world. You can and not guess about it. You may have peculiar failures in memory. Such failures, because of which you are not even sure that you really love. Howbeit , that is, you are! This is your individuality, your essence.

And even something more. Your essence is not a passive, constant and unchanged. As one philosopher said, this is the most important plan, a drawing that should be translated into reality by living the whole of your life. And a unique drawing of your talents, abilities, hidden in what you love is a map for searching for a life path.

Have you ever been looking for treasures as a child? Read "Golden Beetle" Edgar By? Then you know that, before you go for a fold, you need to find a map. It can be well hidden, torn in half or even a million pieces, but first of all you must find it and collect, like a puzzle. That's what we will do with you throughout the first part of the book.

Tips and keys to your life trail are not lost. They are scattered everywhere and hidden, sometimes directly under your nose, in sight. They need to be assembled and carefully examined until you begin to understand how to create a life suitable for you.

Life where you every morning will happily jump from the bed to meet the world, let him sometimes feel fear, but always living on a full coil.

If you do not have enough strength, you constantly want to sleep, you do everything in force, then the reason may not be in a lack of vitamins and a low blood sugar. Perhaps they simply did not find their purpose. You immediately recognize your way as soon as you step on it, because you will immediately fuse energy and creative ideas.

This is part of the secret of people who have reached the present success. They found their way. In addition, they have special skills that allow to embody dreams in reality. It is very important, and to teach you such skills is the purpose of the second part of the book. But first you need to release your creative ingenuity and passion for the work, and the only way to do it is to find your way. Only he will hobble you truly. The treasure, to which this path will lead you, will be successful.

Let's make something symbolic right now. Take a sheet of paper on which you answered the question "Who do you think?" Look at him again. Now hang and throw away into the trash bin.

This is the only leaf that I ask you to throw away, and I have already mentioned that you will have to scream a lot.

Or save it as a souvenir. In the future, he will serve as an excellent illustration to compare "before and after", the symbol of your wrong presentation of yourself. Because you, like most of us, are mistaken about who you think.

Who are you really?

You forgot. But you knew! They knew in childhood, quite a child. Here we will begin to look for a lost card of your treasures - your talents. In the first five precious and mysterious years of your life. In the period when you know the most.

I will tell you something about you at that age.

You were a genius.

Your original genius

Do not laugh, I'm completely serious. I don't care what you have achieved in life or what is your IQ. You were born with your own, unique genius. And when I say it, I mean not a genius with a little - unlike Albert Einstein - letters. And genius with a capital letter - like Albert Einstein.

We assign the honorary title of "genius" only to someone who, in our opinion, was simply born, with a rebupping of some ability, whether it is an outstanding mind, original in anddension, incredible dedication. And we are convinced that superpowers are so strong and uncontrollable that they overcome the most difficult circumstances.

Take Mozart. Music overwhelmed it from birth. Or Picasso, another genius. The sculptor Louise Neverson said that Picasso "drew how Angel was still in the cradle." This is a genius where we are with you to them. So, at least, says common sense.

Excellent, let's take these three criteria of the genius that I called, - an outstanding mind, an original look at the world, an incredible dedication. And now we'll see if it was in you at a biennium.

The concept of "outstanding mind" is not so easy to decipher. We eventually learned that we could not accurately appreciate IQ. Even if they could, these tests measure only a very narrow area of \u200b\u200bknowledge and skills. Therefore, I better call the "outstanding mind" by a private case of the "original look at the world": an intellectual look, unlike an artistic and musical or dozen of other views on the world, which we already know or have not yet discovered, - political, emotional, sports, humanitarian ... You can continue the list.

In two years you had an original view of the world. You can not remember, but it is due to the fact that it is difficult for us to memorize what you can not express in words. In infancy, we looked so original on the world that no one could help us express it. And if we ourselves found words, then no one could understand them!

If you have brought to listen to little child (For example, if you have children), you know that they say strange and amazing things: trying to explain to us how the world looks like from the point of view that has never existed before!

Great poets are people who have preserved the ability to look at the world with a fresh look and tell what they see. But we could all. You could do this at a biennium. When you were two years old, you were very busy. You did not just invent your own language for our own purposes. You, as one of my friend's friend said, they themselves examined the nature of the universe.

So the original view of the world you had. Absolutely unique.

And you had an incredible goal.

You knew perfectly well what you love and what you want. You did everything to get it, and no oscillations and insecurity. If you saw cookies on the table, they did not think: "Can I? And I deserve? Will you put yourself a fool? I break again - is it a procrastination? " You thought: "Cookies". And they started crying, lumping the treats to the flattery, crawled, climbed, built a staircase out of the boxes - they did anything, just to get cookies. If it did not work, you were scandalous, lay down to get up, and then changed the object of your attention. And it did not bother to try to get the next wonderful thing that fell into the field of your vision.

Please note: at such moments do not need confidence. This expression itself is deprived of meaning. You do not even know yourself, you are fully focused on purpose.

You had all those rare and special qualities that seem to us are characteristic of geniuses. And I had.

Where did they go?

While you were too small to listen to the voice of the mind, or it was too early to teach you to do something "useful", enjoyed delicious freedom to be ourselves. By five to six years, if not earlier, your precious right to choose, based on your own desires, began to take away. Once you have learned yourself to control and sit comfortably at the desk, the tale ran out.

You probably forgot what was to go to the first class. Behind the shoulders - five years of excellent experience: you saw, learned, felt, hated and loved a variety of things. But the school was not created to learn from you. She was created to teach you. She unintentionally convinced that your knowledge, tastes, judgments, in fact, a penny of the broken. Just ignoring your personality, she canceled all the rich inner worldWith which you came there. Everything you saw in school is a blank sheet that needs to be filled with the necessary knowledge. If you were important to talk to best friend, or dream, or draw when it was necessary to teach the multiplication table, you were punished. If you suddenly understood how to talk with plants, and the plants answered you, you were not asked: "Do you want to learn how to write or are you busy something else?" You were told: "Get away from the plants, and let's see how quickly you will learn the alphabet!"

Did you say with flowers or dogs, did the sculptures from the mud, were they going to become a movie star or drive to the country of Eskimos, you quickly understood that it was not worth it. And slowly forgotten. You have developed a kind of amnesia. From now on, if a question was asked: "What do you know how to do?" - You easily answered: "nothing". Implying: "Nothing that can be considered important." Or said: "Well, I easily give mathematics." Or: "I am fine with the text." You never had to say anymore: "I love plants. I remember all their names and think I know how to make them happy. "

All we consider some kind of geniuses are people who have come across the need to put in themselves the curious who interested in the whole child. On the contrary, they devoted the lives to arming this child with all the tools and skills necessary for the game at an adult level. You know, Albert Einstein played. He did great discoveries precisely because he retained that freshness of his view and pleasure with which the kids explore the world.

Ankling is a kind of homemade, family education based on the interests of the child. As a rule, does not imply systematic classes and adherence of training programs. Here and further approx. Ed., With the exception of particularly agreed cases.

Lights Felix.

Lights Felix.

Chizhik-Pyzhik

Felix Lights

Chizhik-Pyzhik

Outside the window all night threaten, glittered, and in the morning I went completely hopeless, straight autumn rain.

I abode the curtains.

"For the first time in life, I'm not at night at home ..." she said ...

No, still you should start a little earlier ...

She called in the evening, I just came home, pleased under the shower, it was necessary to change clothes ...

I did not immediately remember - who and why. Obviously, we talked for a long time, in any case, I managed to dry.

And what, in fact, I was remembered? Evening, exhibition, opening day, friends-friends, a lot of vodka, little snacks ... Yes, how! Eyes - as a suddenly opened door ... where?

Want, I will come now? She asked.

I looked out the window: it was dark, lied rain.

Are you far away?

Never mind. Where do you live?

I explained.

Well, she said, "in an hour near your subway.

Honestly, I did not understand anything, but in an hour stood near my subway.

Rain lied with a wall, still summer, cheerful, but the wind rushed, and yellow leaves flew ...

All this is completely unnecessary to me, I thought. But most was afraid to not know her. The last time the chandeliers, which happened, did not oblige anything, and here the dark, wet tired crowd and ...

What a ringing rain! .. - I heard. - But I was not late, right?

It seems, even nothing, I thought, could be worse ...

We ran to the store and came to me, stuffed to the thread, dirty and extended.

Choose, - I said, "in any case, these shirts are dry.

Very strange was night. And unexpected. I have never had such.

Yes, overlooking the window, thundered, and under the morning there was a hopeless autumn rain.

I never remember what we were talking about, but they spoke all night, interrupting each other, and our stories - an amazing thing! - There were something like, although mine began thirty-five years earlier.

I smoked the curtains: Something early in autumn began.

For the first time in my life, I'm not at home at night, "she said.

I understand, you do not believe me. But it is pure truth.

I believed her.

Since then, we have not parted ... that is, what does it mean - they did not part? She came a little light, daily, except Saturday-Sunday - empty days! I just managed to exhale my eyes and shave. Rarely managed to drink welders.

No, it did not come - broke. I opened the door in advance, but I will not hear the call behind the morning troubles. She appeared, and the house was filled with the morning freshness, frosty air, the sun, the thin smell of spirits ... Yes, this is exactly what it dropped a bag with a knock, pulled out a bottle of "lemon", said something, sat down to the table, lit ...

How much time do you have today? - I asked.

Forty four minutes, "she said," today I need to have time to do something before work, and if I don't have time, there will be a horror, and then ... do you understand? - I understood, also lit and opened the bottle.

There is she did not want, the ladies are rarely eaten in the morning - they do not eat at all. Well, does not eat and do not need - her case, especially the clock went back a minute in a minute. I did not insist. But once made an oversight, and she had catastrophic consequences for me. On the eve of friends came, dusted late, saw-ate, and there were plenty of all food. So on the table and stood.

She sat down and, while we smoked and discussed what happened the day before, devastated the plate behind the plate. "Oh, sorry, I did not notice and, it seems, I ate everything ..."

Who did it say that the ladies do not eat in the morning? I do not remember, but, perhaps, he hurried with a generalization ...

That time I became even hot - ashamed when we were snapping in frank egoism, and I did not know him. The man came early - clearly hurried to me, did not have time to drink tea-coffee, - and I think only about myself and that forty four minutes is not the term. No time, of course. But in addition to my considerations, there are, as they say, and the other side? And the other party wants to eat. I all confused, in fact, I didn't eat in the morning, I have long ceased, however, I forgot and dinner from some time, you still eat something in the evening, so the day and it will be bored. But this is tired of me and boring, it's about her, and she probably grows ...

I began to cook. My cooking was primitive: scrambled eggs with tomatoes, fried potatoes, could offer a sizard - lentils with lard. But even if you still simplify: take, say, a piece of meat ... No, the same forty minutes! It is necessary to repel, meat, and you do not serve just like that - not a helger, you need to observe the aesthetics: to cut the cucumber, it would be nice herbs - and how else? To repel, fry, serve ... Yes, it should be done, it will not swallow it at a time ... "Oh, how delicious! .." - she usually spoke and lit up.

I began to get up at seven in the morning. Also not easy if you feel unknown when and how. I got up - and to the stove. By that time, when she appeared and filled the room of the morning freshness, she, this freshness, could no longer kill the smell of onions and burning oil.

"Hooray!" She said. "Today I see us ..."

Half an hour I dismantled, a little, of course, and no longer burn out. That was then born the idea of \u200b\u200bthe need for a radical victory over time. Also, by the way, the battle is doomed to defeat. How to win it - time? But it should have belonged to me - all the time it should have been mine. And above all - the night. I could not forget that first night ...

I invented one option after another, tried to carry out that. Did not work. Some extraneous forces intervened, unexpected circumstances - and everything broke. I remember was one wonderful and completely real option, I worked on him seriously, but he was unexpected and strangely covered.

Something then flew into my mind the idea of \u200b\u200bthe incomasure of all these failures. That is, in fact, an understanding arose much later, after everything happened, I used to be so captured by the idea of \u200b\u200bthe need for a victory over time, which could not think about anything and think. I wanted how it was already said - overcome time, I got a dream, time should have been mine. Should? .. No, I did not think about that - and if I have the right? ..

That's where the most nightmarish dog was buried: in that I did not want, was unable to realize the warning.

And only then, after what happened, returning to the weirdness of my then permanent, I remembered the Bible. History with Valaam donkey. That's where there was a raidness.

I remembered how much careful attention paid for this story. That is, I have known her for a long time, she, as I always seemed to be absolutely clear, and therefore it did not come to her depth to her head. But once I received a letter from a long time of my friend, she was at that time a neophyt and bought into the Bible with a special zeal. I left the link, time is enough, it became detailed with this letter to understand.

My correspondent, piously starting the study of the sacred text, immediately, as she wrote, drew attention to numerous contradictions, nevertheless, he courageously continued to advance, but, after reaching the fourth book of Moses - the number, she stopped on history with Valaam - and closed the book. You see, she wrote, undoubtedly, the whole thing in the errors of the translation, I don't even mind to doubt in the text itself - you do not think! Where are these dark, illiterate monks - or who once translated it all, could Aramaic know? Of course, they were translated from Greek, but he did not really know him, they didn't have a good formation, they did not learn from universities and translated as God put on the soul, based on their own concepts. In any case, I decided to wait until our case takes modern School Translation, you know what translators today do we have? .. Then there were the names of her friends-translators who became famous for the translations of modern American and French novels. Let them, these translators, today do not know the Aramaic-Greek, wrote she, they should not be rushed back, the main thing is the modern method and school. And the fact that I see in the synodal translation, contradicts even elementary logic. Here she led an example with this very donkey. An example of blatant, from its point of view, contradictions.

I remind this story, it is worth it, and for me - well, when I began to deal with what happened, I had a special meaning.

The story is such. It was at the time when the Jews had already come out of Egypt, they walked around Mesopotamia, laying their way with a sword and what would have. All won and moved to the land promised. No one to confront them, of course, could not, because God was always there: he brought them away, he led them, and they were kind to him. How to cope with them? So they reached the earth Moavityan, stopped on the plains of Moab, with Jordan, against Jericho. And naturally, Moavityan and the king of their Valak were very frightened: what to do with the people, who says everything around, how will the grass field field? Valak sent ambassadors to Valaam, who lived somewhere on the Evfrat River, was a person famous for his connections with the Lord and Magnifying. Come, they told the ambassadors to Valaam, the curses of this people, otherwise we cannot cope with them, and we know what you bless, he is blessed, and who will curse - cursed. The ambassadors came, of course, not with empty hands: And in those ancient times, nothing was done for free. Well, told Valaam, wait the night, I will ask the Lord, and how he will tell me, so it will be without him. The Lord told Valaam very clearly: do not go with them and do not curse this people, for he is blessed.

Valaam Nautro Ambassadors reported: Go back, Lord I did not allow you to go with you.

The ambassadors returned, reported on the failure of their embassy - and what was to do Valka, he understood that without God's help could not cope with this nightmarish people. ...

This book justifies its relevance and the subsequent reissue is already several dozen (!) Years. It will be useful for those who are for 30, and who are mired in Routine, engaged in unloved work and dreams of changing life. It is possible to advise her and 20 years old - those who really did not determine what he wants to do in life, and risks to spend the coming years, doing the profession that parents chose. This book can be recommended to those who want to change the specialty thinking about the missed opportunities and he wants something new. The author says that there is nothing impossible. Everything is possible and it is much closer than we think, and do not be afraid to start, even if you are 40, 50 years old.

"It is not harmful to dream" first came out in 1978, and for 30 years it helps people all over the world to turn their vague desires and dreams into concrete results.

The book consists of three parts:

1. How to understand what you really want, what you dream about;

2. We begin to make a plan on how to achieve the dream;

3. Create a support group that will help you in difficult times.

The first head of the book is devoted to our surrounding, our family and everything is being laid since childhood. From the first pages of the book, the author sends a person to the tenders of his childhood, when it was naturally singing, drawing, dance, invents of non-residents. Barbara draws people's attention to the real dreams, who were from each of us in childhood, but over time disappeared due to the lack of faith in them. The author makes us again become children and to succumb to temptation - to dream of impossible.

Reading the page behind the page, you "unwrapping" a child inside yourself, remember what you were, what you liked and what talents say all this. And start working with this, imagining the future of your dreams, your perfect day, dwelling, lifestyle. Barbara Cher begins to give practical advice on planning and interaction with other people.

The second head of the book is about the riddling of desires, and it is here that important practical tasks are. Performing them one after another, you look at yourself differently, review your goals and dreams, throwing unnecessary. For example, the author invites you to remember twenty favorite classes or describe your perfect day. If you do it, you will understand that you really do all your desires and dreams are quite feasible and that you need a little about the dream of a dream.

Each Sunny Dream Barbara Cher offers to break into detailed and small actions. They are real, not introduced into a stupor and help to act. The basis of the practical achievement of the goal is to plan from the opposite (from the result to the very first steps) and the installation of clear terms. It is important to clearly imagine life when the goal will be achieved.

The final part of the book teaches working with difficulties on the way. By the way, Barbara Cher is not a supporter of positive thinking. She is sure that you need to say about problems: just so you can solve them.

After reading the book, you will learn:

How to detect your strengths and hidden talents;

Since childhood, we are involved that dreams are something unreal, simple children's fun, pleasant, but empty pastime. "I want to become a pilot / rescuer / singer / cosmonaut" - every one of us dreamed of something like this, but hardly someone seriously perceived your dreams.

In his book, "dream is not harmful. How to get what you really want "Barbara Cher and Anni Gottlib dispel the myth that dreams are only vague desires, teach them to turn them into goal and make specific plans to achieve everything you dream about.

I am very incredulously attributive to books from the category "How to become a millionaire in two weeks", "how to achieve my goals for 1 month", "How to change your life tomorrow", etc. But the book "Dreaming is not harmful. How to get what you really want "initially I was interested precisely because I did not promise fantastic results for a tiny period of time.

She simply said: "It is not harmful to dream," and it is this quiet, unobtrusive, but at the same time an effective appeal did his job - I decided to read this book.

Barbara Sher

The author of seven bestsellers, each of which offers a practical and in detail of the painted method of detecting natural talents, determining the goals and the incarnation of dreams into reality. Barbara conducted seminars and master classes around the world - for universities, professional organizations, corporations from the Fortune 100 list.

Annie Gottlib

Writer and journalist specializing in psychology. Annie is published in many publications, such as Mirabella and McCall, and also writes book reviews and columns for The New York Times.

Remember about the genius you were in childhood

Most of all I am grateful to the authors for helping to remember their children's dreams. I, like most people, belonged to them a frivolous, and the question "Who do you want to become when you grow up?" I always answered in different ways. IN children's garden Praised for saying without mistakes a few words in English - and I am sure that I will become a translator. I coped perfectly with the role in the New Year's performance - and now I am already dreaming to become an actress. In the second grade, I wrote my first poem - and I know for sure that the poet was dorming in me.

But then, in childhood, I, like all the children, did not know the main thing: all our dreams, every our desire, every of our little victory is what tells us the path to what makes us happy.

The book has many practical tasks that will help you remember children's dreams. You yourself will easily write what seemed to irrevocably forgotten: what did you like to do what you were wondering what you didn't mind to spend your time.

In childhood, each of us was a real genius: we knew what we want. We have not yet been adult people who have fidelled different circumstances (no money, no time, there are no opportunities, etc.), and we were not afraid of possible failure, we did not overcome doubts.

And now you remembered what dreamed of childhood. And now answer the question: do you still want to do this? If your answer is "yes", for a minute about the continuation that you certainly added to your answer ("It is very difficult," "I'm not at the age of", "I will never decide so much to change my life." etc.), and know that:

You can still.

I do not care about your age, past and current circumstances: you can still do anything to have what you want or be anyone.
Barbara Sher

Private detective game

Who can know you better than you yourself? You see yourself every day in the mirror, you know exactly what you love, and what hate. But you will be surprised when you understand that you know not everything about yourself.

In one of the practical tasks, the authors suggest you play in a private detective: inspect your own home as if you see it for the first time and trying to understand it in a setting that it lives here. When you see the results, you will be surprised. After I examined my own dwelling, I made the following conclusions:

Items that did not surprise me:

First. This person has more than three hundred paper books, and on the table lies electronic book, And if you look at it, you can find more than a dozen works.

i adore from my childhood, I always knew it.

Second. Based on what made an assumption: the table lies seven notebooks, in which poems are chaotic, scraps of thoughts, quotes from books, lines from favorite songs.

Why is it not opening for me: i immeumably love to write from hand; Even if I am going to publish a post in LiveJournal or Tumblr, then first it appears in the notebook, and only then moves to the Internet space.

Sixth. Based on what made an assumption: two players, a bunch of headphones, carefully stored CDs.

Why is it not opening for me: I listen to music all the time.

Items that surprised me:

The third.Based on what made an assumption: on the table album for drawing and markers. In all notebooks with letters, the emoticons, cats and some kind of snot, the deep meaning of which is clear only to their creator.

i do not know how. As a child, I suffered insanely because of this, and I performed the tasks from me the whole family. In my resumes, two phrases are highlighted in red bold fonts: "I do not know how to draw. Well, that is, at all in any way, in no way. "

And then I understand completely unexpected for myself that I constantly draw something. Mental cards when I need to decompose the complex task for components. Smileys, cats and other animals when I need to distract. I even had an album somewhere, and even with felt-meters.

i always believed that I did not like and do not know how to draw. But, having examined my "drawing front," I realized that, of course, a decent artist would never succeed in me, but it helps to calm down and ridiculous animals helps me calm down and distract.

Fourth.Based on what made an assumption: many photo albums, two cameras that are proudly towering on the upper shelf, a bunch of folders on a laptop called "Print photos".

Why is this opening for me: well, yes, I have a camera, and I can click on the button and say: "Now the bird will depart." I have an account in Instagram, in which not only seams, selfie and food. I adore photographing sunsets and dawns. I am very upset when there is no camera at hand, and the 3 megapixel smartphone camera is not able to convey and half the beauty I want to capture.

I have never thought about going to travel courses or learn to work well with modern photo edits. Yes, what's already there, I will be honest: I never even thought that the photo could present interest to me.

What I concluded from this: Now I am thinking about signing up for courses of photography. And no, I do not want to do it a business life. Let it be a pleasant hobby.

Fifth. Based on what made an assumption: on the refrigerator, many magnets from different cities of Russia and other countries. The bedside table is a box with a variety of postcards, see who so and you want to buy a ticket for a plane ticket. And in the kitchen there are several cups, which indicate that their mistress visited at least three countries.

Why is this opening for me: because I love to travel, but my piggy bank of cities and countries is not so great, despite all the trophies.

What I concluded from this: erroneous. As a detective, which inspects the dwelling of the stranger, I suggested that a person lives here who travels a lot. But as a person living in this apartment, I know that more than half of the postcards, magnets and other souvenirs were brought to me friends and relatives.

By doing this exercise, you will probably learn something new about your hobbies and about your character. And who knows, maybe you will finally understand what you want to do in life. This is fascinating, try. :)

One of the main rules: Do not be afraid to ask for help

Leitmotifs of the entire book: Do not be afraid to ask for help from others. No one can achieve tremendous success alone. And if you do not believe - read the autobiography of successful people. They have always had someone who helped them, and no matter how - by life advice, money, or just introduced them to the right people.

Anyone in your life can help you achieve what you really want: Your family, friends, acquaintances, acquaintances of your friends and acquaintances of your friends. With that condition, of course, if you are not ashamed to ask for help. Who knows, perhaps you will be able to assemble the team of like-minded people, which will work on achieving one goal.

Summarizing

I am very glad that this book got into my hands. I needed for her reading week, but I do not regret the time spent.

I remembered my children's dreams and learned to make goals from them. I played in the detective and looking for hidden talents and inclinations. I laid the goals for specific tasks and learned to perform them. I loved the dreams in a new way and learned to discard fears and doubts.

Who will be interested in this book

Everyone who loves dreams, as well as all those who consider it a useless spending time. The first will learn to turn your dreams in the goal and reach them, and the second will understand the main thing: what we dream are what we need.

Remember: Dreaming is not harmful. Harmful not to dream.

Barbara Cher, Annie Gottlib

Dreaming is not harmful. How to get what you really want

Wishcraft.

How to Get What You Really Want

Scientific editor of Alik Kalaide

Published with the permission of the literary agency Andrew Nurnberg

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book can be reproduced in any form and any means, including posting on the Internet and in corporate networks, for private and public use without written permission of copyright holder.

Legal support for publisher provides the law firm "Vegas Lex"

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Dedicated to my mom,

which always believed in me

Preface

I did not have to worry about long.

Since 1979, "Dreaming is not harmful" is constantly reprinted. Publishers happily took my new manuscripts and published new books, whose fate also developed successfully.

Introduction

This book is written to make you the winner.

Barbara Cher, Annie Gottlib dreaming is not harmful. How to get what you really want. The book "Dreaming Not Harmful" Barbara Cher: What I want to remember how to get what you want Barbara Cher

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Preface

Introduction