I don't want a husband anymore. What to do if you no longer want your boyfriend. What to do if you do not want to have sex with your husband

27 comments

I really like the phrase that was once uttered by one of my acquaintances, a very respected person: "No one should be allowed into the bedroom, except for the spouses." And these words meant those problems of an intimate nature that arise between two people, spouses, and not a simple visit to a room with a double bed. But, unfortunately, at all times, people are forced to seek help from specialists when delicate issues arise, which are not customary to talk about.

One of the most difficult questions that concern the beautiful half of humanity is the question: “What if I don’t want a husband?” Agree, this is not a topic for conversation that will easily go for a cup of tea surrounded by relatives. “I love my husband, but I don’t want him at all. What should I do?" - the spouse is worried and is looking for answers in books, on the Internet ... Let's find out together the reasons for such cooling towards a loved one and look for ways out of this situation.

Why is there no sexual attraction to her husband?

So why don't you want to sleep with your husband? Let's drop all the constraints and turn to the term itself. What is sex? Upon request, the following definition is most often issued: "a person's activity in order to obtain a set of mental and physiological reactions, experiences and actions associated with the manifestation and satisfaction of sexual desire or the desire to procreate."

I would like to move away from physiology for the time being, we will talk about it a little later. mental reactions. Women are more psycho-emotionally dependent on their partner, many women do not so much need intimacy and final pleasure, but a sense of unity, a sense of closeness and kinship of souls, an understanding of their desirability and necessity in the life of a beloved man.

Listen to yourself: perhaps the reluctance to go to bed with your spouse is due precisely to the cooling in your human relationships? Maybe, yes, initially passion rolled in a wave, both of you choked, drowning in happiness and silk underwear, but did not have time to get to know each other? Didn't have time to become each other's friends, interlocutors, maybe from the very beginning you were just lovers for each other? In this case, now is the time when you can and even need to just talk with your man, be with him for an unlimited amount of time and not under the covers. I guarantee you will learn a lot about his passions, interests, his childhood, some funny moments of his biography. So the person will become even closer, even dearer, and perhaps the desire will wake up again. Let not as soon as we would like, but it’s still worth trying to open up to each other.

Communication provides many benefits. Women are by nature gentle creatures and not everyone can just talk about their experiences and inconveniences in an intimate way. Back in the Victorian era, women, in the matrimonial bedroom, had no right to any movement and emotions. They just lay there for the pleasure of their men, and the casual movement of a woman could well have sounded an ordinary question: “Did I hurt you?” What is it? These are not magical films about love, women really existed that way.

But what is preventing the spouse now from turning to a loved one with a question or a proposal? Progress has stepped forward. And if there is some kind of discomfort that discourages all attraction to her husband, it is better to voice it. Do not be afraid to offend, a loved one will understand and help solve the problem. Painful sensations, uncomfortable postures, too little or, on the contrary, a long time for the process itself, lack of hygiene (it happens) - all this must be discussed with a man.

Many women claim that lack of desire is due to fatigue. Some experience precisely physical fatigue, when it is impossible even to move a hand, they want to lie down and merge with the bed. Hard work, life, raising children. And there is absolutely no strength left for the spouse. In this case, you need to ask for a day off. And not only at work, but also in the family. Give the children to your grandmother, entrust cooking and cleaning to your husband, I think that for one day he will be able to share this burden with you, and just go for a walk, get some fresh air, meet friends or think alone with yourself, it all depends on temperament. Go to the pool or lie on the couch all day - it does not matter. The main thing is to give yourself the opportunity to relax and unwind. It is advisable to arrange such a day off for yourself more than once a year, when the body is already exhausted to the limit, but at least twice a month. Remember to remind yourself: “I am alone. You have to love yourself."

What to do if the wife does not want intimacy with her husband?

It is quite another matter if fatigue has developed into a syndrome of emotional burnout. When a person feels complete moral exhaustion and does not want anything anymore. A lot can influence: problems at work, misunderstanding on the part of relatives, coldness in relation to a beloved man. I know such women who are ready to warm anyone who feels bad with their warmth, but it was the dearly beloved man who, with his indifference, managed to trample this fire of the human soul and turn it into ashes. Such women fall into despondency, depression, apathy. And, of course, there can be no talk of any kind of closeness. In Rus' they said: "Call a person 10 times a pig, he will grunt." If a woman is rude all the time, carelessly treat her requests, call her unkindly, she will eventually become what she might never have become in the hands of another person - callous and unhappy. A morally trampled, tired and offended woman needs rest. And here it would be nice to go on vacation to recover, to a sanatorium. Be apart from your husband. Try to miss yourself and give him the opportunity to feel your absence in his life. As a rule, parting for a short time has a good effect on married life, people have the opportunity to think about everything, realize and draw conclusions.

The problem of not wanting to sleep with your man can also be hidden behind a seemingly simple and common thing like a regular diet. Diets, as it turned out, significantly reduce libido. In turn, why does a woman resort to this method of improving her appearance? - Complexes. Every woman is beautiful in her own way, and if we were all long-legged blondes with a third bust size, our world would be boring in its monotony. The tastes of men are also different. Someone loves plump brunettes, someone is happy with red-haired laughter, someone dreams of a very tiny wife at night ... Do not deprive your spouse of happiness if he chose you for who you are, perhaps he found in you what dreamed all my life. Do not chase standards by making yourself worse.

How to return sexual attraction to her husband?

Sometimes a woman does not want her husband because her husband is bored, the monotony of positions, time and place. The man himself ceases to be interested in appearance, he does not want to be touched, intimacy turns into torture. A woman often thinks about the topic: “I don’t want a husband, I want another man.” It happens, but there is a way out. Perhaps for some it will be reckless, but you are already a family with this person, and if earlier sex in a car in the back seat in a park could cause an administrative offense, now it is a family weekend.

What did you dream about at the age of 17-18? Now it's possible. On the roof? Go with your husband to the roof, taking a blanket. Outdoors? Why not? In the pool, in the fitting room? Try, fulfill secret desires. This is your husband, this is a native person, with him you can not be afraid to look stupid. He already accepted you with all your incredible ideas even when he said “yes” at the registry office. Role-playing games can be another great alternative, especially for those women who are bored with their spouse's beer tummy or other shortcomings. Leotards and a raincoat - Your husband Batman, pajamas and slippers - You are a nurse, and he is a patient, and so on. Don't be afraid to experiment. If nothing comes of this venture, at least just have fun.

Answer the question: "What if I want another man?" I would like that… At your leisure, think about why another man? What is it about it that attracts you? What did he catch? Shoulders more? Is the pelvis more appetizing? It's just a shell. I'll explain with an example. Now everyone is completely crazy about Robert Pattison or Johnny Depp. But does at least one of us know at least a tiny part about these men? No. This is only appearance, pleasant appearance, in which a lot has been invested: the fee, strength, obligations under the contract. Hint to your spouse that it's time to go to the gym and go with him for support. It's simple. It will be your very own Brad Pitt. The one who loves you, whom you know.

Often a woman worries about not wanting her husband during pregnancy or after childbirth. Here you should not even worry, in both cases there is a restructuring of the hormonal background and the lack of attraction, as well as excessive activity on the part of a woman, is quite normal. During pregnancy, if you don’t feel like intimacy at all, you can always refer to the doctor’s recommendations, a loving spouse and future father will make concessions, and you can relax and wait out this moment of a hormonal surge. After childbirth, you will also have time to recover, but if even after the physiological natural processes that contribute to abstinence, the desire does not appear, it is best to consult a doctor, gynecologist or endocrinologist. Experts will find the reasons and will be able to provide competent assistance.

Many psychologists still recommend, if it doesn’t work out to return the former attraction to the spouse, have a lover or get a divorce. To not hurt yourself. Well, the pros will be the first time: new emotions, sensations (and not the fact that it is better than with a spouse), but there will be more minuses. In the case of a lover, this is obvious: living in two houses is difficult, hiding, erasing SMS messages, talking in a whisper in the bathroom under the sound of water, sooner or later, but you will get tired of it. Is it worth it? With a new spouse ... Here, who cares. Having lived a certain number of years with one person, getting used to his smell, gastronomic preferences, recognizing every mole, getting used to carefree communication and behavior at home, adjust again? Flirt, pick up expressions, try to please relatives and friends? Are you ready for this? It seems to me that the game is worth the candle only in exceptional cases. I think everyone understands what. Isn't it easier to love your spouse again? After all, for some reason you fell in love with him many years ago? You just need to remember what exactly conquered you and stop your attention on these advantages, forgetting about the shortcomings for a while.

In conclusion, I would like to note the following. Z. Freud said many years ago: "We do not choose each other by chance ... We meet only those who already exist in our subconscious." Your spouse has already lived in your head, in your dreams. And yes, intimacy is a very important component of any relationship, but the most important thing is to be each other's soul mate, comrade, friend, family. And then the closeness of souls and the closeness of bodies and harmony in the house.

Very often, girls are faced with the problem of choosing what to do if the craving for their boyfriend disappears. If the thought arises in my head: “I don’t want my young man', it's time to make a choice.

I don't want my boyfriend: what should I do?

There are two main options. Either make every effort to improve relationships, fall in love again, refresh feelings, or leave. Don't even know which is better. To each his own.

If there is affection, love and warm feelings, then you need to try to resurrect feelings. Spend more time together, arrange romantic evenings, go to the cinema in the last rows.

Eat seafood, use aromatic oils with pheromones, eat foods rich in zinc, which affects the occurrence of sexual desire.

Invite the guy to go to the gym together, his inflated body can play an important role. Watch romantic comedies, beautiful love sagas and talk more about feelings.

In the event that nothing comes out or there is no desire to do all this, then it is better to say goodbye. This means that there are no more feelings, and therefore desire is also absent. In this case, you need to find Right words not to offend and stay on good terms.

How to break up with a guy

Breaking up with a guy will be easy and simple if you resort to a simple female trick.

First, prepare the young man for the end of the relationship. How? Put on something that guys can't stand. Be boring, persistently "get" the guy, demand more attention to yourself. Drag the guy around your girlfriends - at some point he gets tired of listening to constant female conversations about clothes and guys and simply runs away from you!

You can scare your boyfriend by meeting your mom. In male psychology, such a step on your part causes subconscious fear. What if they are going to marry him, thereby depriving him of precious freedom? Most likely, the guy will begin to avoid you and himself will offer to leave.

But what should not be done is to break off relations immediately, on the forehead. It may be, frankly, an unforeseen situation. A guy can simply "go crazy" from surprise and start doing stupid things up to Threats and violence against you or try to do something with himself. At least that's what the statistics say.

Therefore, a direct statement about the breakup of relations will not cost you a little blood.

However, if the guy is level-headed, you can try talking to him. Sometimes the best thing you can do in your situation is to have an honest conversation. True, you yourself determine what this conversation will be. Either you and your boyfriend calmly, without scenes and mutual accusations, find out everything, or choose a different scenario for parting.

But you must decide for yourself that in the current situation, parting is the only reasonable option. And that later you will not regret and reproach yourself for a hasty decision.

Decided? Then gather courage and determination and take this step! You must be prepared in advance for the fact that your conversation can take any turn, including completely unpredictable ones. Do not doubt: your boyfriend has every right to be offended, because you “throw” him! He may not even suspect that at some point your relationship cracked, and only you noticed it in time.

You need to part with a guy wisely, with a simple smile and pleasant memories of yourself, ”Coco Chanel once said. You can break up with a guy and remain friends, the main thing is to do everything right!

Videos that will be useful to you

Psychologist Natalya Tolstaya advises:

How to rekindle love in a relationship:

How to be strong and confident:

In any relationship between a man and a woman, both spiritual and physical aspects are important. How strong the union will be and how comfortable people will feel in it depends on the quality, frequency and duration of physical intimacy. Unfortunately, there are situations when a woman does not want her beloved man. Goes to intimacy with him without much desire, or generally looking for all sorts of reasons to avoid it. Moreover, the lack of desire is found not only in older women, but also in young girls.

Where did the physical attraction go? After all, until recently, a woman burned with passion for her man, seduced him in every possible way, and today her head hurts, then critical days, then a lot of things. And if she agrees to sex, she behaves as if she is doing a man a favor.

Most often, this situation occurs in couples who have already had a long relationship. It is important to understand that without an intimate relationship, the spiritual one also suffers, tension accumulates, irritation with each other, reproaches, quarrels over trifles become more frequent, and as a result, this can lead to complete discord.

Reasons for the lack of desire for intimacy

Interest in sex can be lost for a number of reasons. What are the most common?

• The first and most common is fatigue and stress. When your head is full of problems, a bunch of cases and questions, you can’t relax, and the body is physically exhausted and exhausted, then what kind of full-fledged sex can we talk about? It is very difficult for a tired woman to psychologically distract herself from the thoughts in her head and tune in to the right wave, unlike a man who, if he is on fire with sexual desire, forgets about everything. Male and female sexuality are different. A woman needs a psychological attitude, in his absence she does not receive any pleasure from intimacy. Therefore, a woman resists a man who wants immediate caresses.
• Another reason could be diet. In pursuit of thinness, a woman is ready to do anything, not understanding what harm she can do to herself. When dieting, the body experiences stress and an acute shortage of vitamins, and the natural hormonal background is also disturbed. All this of course affects libido, adds fatigue and irritability.
• The quality of intimate relationships. Different sexual preferences, likes and dislikes during intimacy, which people are embarrassed to tell each other about. Monotonous sex, developed over the years. Lack of initiative to change something for the better, to diversify. All this turns sex, the main source of pleasure, into a boring monotonous duty.
• Hormonal changes in the body associated with pregnancy and childbirth. During pregnancy, the whole body is absorbed in the fact that it is necessary to develop the fetus and protect it, and all the energy is spent on this. The hormonal background of a woman works in such a way that her libido decreases. When children are born, they require so much attention that there is no time or energy left for sex.
• Women may not want a beloved man because of resentment towards him. If for a man sex is just a physiological need, then for a woman feelings and emotions mean a lot. Resentment can kill any desire for intimacy. If a man does not understand this and does not seek to make amends, then resentment only accumulates and the woman's libido suffers greatly.
• Physiological health problems. If, due to various diseases in gynecology, sex begins to cause discomfort, contacts become painful, then desire may also disappear.
• Lack of physical activity. Physical activity gives life to all metabolic processes in the body. If a woman spends all day in sedentary work and the maximum physical activity is cleaning the house, washing and cooking, then of course this also affects sexual desire. The blood stagnates, the fatty layer accumulates and it becomes too lazy to make an extra movement. What kind of sex can there be?
• Untidy appearance men. If a woman sees her man in an untidy look, unshaven, shaggy and picking his nose, then the desire disappears by itself.
• The influence of medicines. Many drugs reduce libido. This also applies to oral contraceptives, especially during addiction to them.
• Depression. Depression and constant anxiety suppresses sexual desire for a while, as well as the desire to do other things, even favorite things.
• Age changes. Between 30 and 45 years in the female body there is a decrease in estrogen levels, which directly affects libido. Vaginal muscles gradually lose their elasticity, intimate organs secrete less and less lubrication. All this affects the quality of intimate relationships.

What to do?

A woman suffers more from the lack of physical attraction, because it adversely affects her health, from the fact that she has to force herself to go to intimacy, her emotional state worsens. What can help?

• To forge intimate life you need to try not to overwork and get enough sleep, if you do not have time to ask for help from your loved one.
• You need to learn to relax. Find time during the week that you can completely devote to each other. You can take a bath together, turn on relaxing music, ask your loved one to give you a massage. At such moments, sex with a loved one will bring pleasure and unforgettable emotions.
• If you want to lose weight, do not mindlessly go on diets, because it has been proven that you need to eat often, in small portions, excluding harmful, starchy and fatty foods. Then you get all the necessary vitamins and minerals and accelerate the metabolism, which leads to weight loss.
• Watch your body. Go in for sports. In addition to the aesthetic pleasure of a beautiful toned body and self-confidence, you maintain your libido at the proper level.
• If you are not satisfied with the quality of sexual relations, gently tell your partner about it. Watch the video together and discuss what he would like or dislike from what you see. Agree to bring something new into your intimate life, try not only to say what you want, but also to hear your man and put it into practice. Be active in bed.
• Try to spend as much free time as possible with your man. Talk if, for example, resentment affects the lack of attraction, you need to say about this man, bring the situation to its logical conclusion, try to make sure that from negative emotions there was no trace left.
• Watch your health. Visit your gynecologist twice a year. If there are diseases, be sure to be treated.
• Try to avoid taking medications that reduce libido, if possible. Also avoid oral contraceptives.
• If the cause is pregnancy and the birth of a child, this period simply needs to be experienced. Try to explain this to your man. Establish mutual understanding, this will speed up the process of restoring attraction.
• Help needed in some cases qualified specialist- a psychologist or sexologist. Everything depends on the situation. But turning to them will help you restore harmonious sexual relationships.

These are simple tips, but for some reason, sometimes we don’t want to make even a minimum of effort to change the situation for the better, and we let everything take its course. As a result, we lose one of the most important pleasures in life - physical intimacy with a beloved man, joint orgasms and a bunch of wonderful emotions. We constantly hear that relationships need to be worked on continuously, this also applies to intimate sphere. Everyone has difficult moments in life when desire is dulled, the main thing is that this does not become the norm. It is important in any situation to remain sensitive to each other, discuss all problems, empathize and support each other. And then sexual desire will not leave your couple, kindling the fire of passion again and again.

How often do we associate love with sexual desire. And when it leaves and we do not want our man, it seems to us that love is gone.

Love, like a Koshchei needle hidden in an egg kept in a chest on a tall oak, lurks in the depths of our soul, and on the way to it there are many obstacles.

I'm embarrassed to write about this...

When we met with my future husband, a real passion broke out between us. We are wherever possible. We were on fire from the inside, and it seemed that physical attraction would be between us all the time ...
And so we played the wedding, then a little more than a year passed, and what I discover ... I do not want to have sex with my husband. I began to look for excuses to deviate from making love. I don’t want to offend my husband, I try not to show it, but he began to notice that I was reluctant to agree to sex. And the closeness itself has become for me not the most pleasant duty.
I am very worried. Is it possible that physical desire will never return to me again, and sex with the man I love will become an unpleasant duty? I love him, and he suits me in everything. I want to give him pleasure and receive it myself. But the body seems to resist this process. Tell me what to do and how to behave with my husband?

Very often women come to me with a similar problem. Indeed, often in a relationship, ardor is replaced by a banal reluctance to make love. What is going on?
Based on the experience of my work, I came to the conclusion that almost each of us must go his own way to love. Love, like a needle in Koshchei's egg, is hidden in the depths of our soul, and there are many obstacles on the way to it.

Pools of fear in the unconscious

When we meet a man and start a relationship, our unconscious is "sleeping". Therefore, at first everything is easy and simple. We have a minimum of claims to the partner and practically no expectations. We are not attached and therefore can easily be ourselves. The boundaries of the "I" are not blurred, and there is no strong interest in the relationship. At the same time, sexual desire is increased, because the space of the couple is free from all experiences, fears and anxieties.

As the relationship develops, your inner barriers and defenses weaken, and everything that was forced into the bowels of the psyche begins to activate. Fears come to life, painful feelings rush out, and your deepest ideas about a man and relationships declare themselves. And if in childhood your loved ones caused you some pain, then it is understandable that in union with a man you will be afraid to experience it again. Therefore, your body involuntarily closes, which leads to the disappearance of sexual desire.

The development of desire: from the surface to the depth

Sexual desire for a man is usually superficial at first. Sex is devoid of depth and feeling. In the process, the body plays a greater role than the soul. Sensuality becomes a way to attract the attention of a partner, to awaken attraction in him.

However, relationships do not stand still, like everything in nature, they develop according to their own laws. Gradually you begin to perceive it differently.
For example, in psychotherapy similarly, there comes a period when it seems that nothing is happening and nothing is changing, and therefore the desire to continue the process of transformation disappears. The meaning is lost. Topics of conversation disappear. And I always emphasize that it is now that the real therapy begins. And all you feel is resistance.

It's just that at the beginning of interactions we communicate on a conscious level, gradually moving towards the unconscious, and coming close to it, we run into defenses, which manifests itself as a struggle. This is a period of so-called calm. Having experienced it, we will be open to work with the deep structures of the psyche.

So it is in relationships. When you get to a certain depth in your union, it seems to you that sexual desire is gone. In fact, the true attraction that has to do with love has not yet woken up.

You have yet to get to know your true self and the essence of your partner. Once you've passed this stage, you'll be open to a deeper partnership. And then true trust will begin to emerge, and in your attitude towards a man you will feel a different tenderness and depth.

The ability to endure patiently is important

If you can calmly survive the period of absence sexual desire, show wisdom and patience, explain to the man the reason for your feelings, you will soon discover new facets sexual life. Sex will become more refined and sensual, and you will feel this difference.

Believe me, a man will be patient if you can convey your feelings to him. After all, it is important for him to feel loved and needed. And if you find a way to show it, then I don’t think that the lack of sex will greatly affect your relationship.

Do not focus on this problem and do not worry, believing that something is wrong with you and your love has passed. For the most part, it hasn't started yet. You must understand that this is one of the stages of your relationship, which will pass, like all other periods of relationship development.

Try to fill the void that has arisen. So, instead of having sex, you can enjoy intimacy with each other, soulful conversations, joint activities or hobbies. Of course, do not go too far in your unwillingness. A man is a man, he can understand and love you, but sometimes he needs sex too. Therefore, out of affection for your chosen one, nevertheless do something pleasant for him, make love to him, even if you don’t feel like it. You do not need to rape yourself all the time, but sometimes you need to think about the desires of your partner.

And I repeat once again: this stage will pass, you just need to calmly go through it. Well, if you want to understand yourself deeper and understand relationships, then the 6-month program: how impossible better fit to you.

With love,
Irina Gavrilova Dempsey

The candy-bouquet period is always beautiful: long romantic walks, moonlight kisses and cell phone calls every ten minutes. Enjoying this wonderful time, we are sure that it will be like this forever. But the gray monotonous life, which further hangs over the relationship, is able to absorb even the most sincere and passionate love. At the same time, women often do not want intimacy and try to avoid it in any way.

Main reasons

Not with her husband... This problem is often raised in various forums by worried ladies. Their unenviable Family status commented by all and sundry, often mocking a cold woman or accusing her of frigidity. Instead of reading all this nonsense, it is better to turn to a psychologist who will tell you about the main reasons for reluctance. Experts identify several pitfalls that stand in the way of your "sexual" happiness:

• Stress. They do not allow the wife to relax and tune in to the right wave.
• Diets and intake birth control pills. They can lower the level of libido.
• Some character traits of the husband: rudeness, passivity, untidiness, non-compliance with hygiene.
• Hormonal restructuring of the body in connection with the birth of a baby.

In these cases, the problem can be solved by canceling hormonal drugs, waiting for the period until health is restored after childbirth, simply by talking frankly with a man about his way of life, habits and character. If the cause is not found, and the woman continues to say: "I don't want sex with my husband!" - in this situation it is necessary to understand in detail.

If the husband is not macho

Perhaps the problem lies precisely in this. And a woman cannot admit to a man that his sexual abilities, alas, do not give her the desired pleasure. When they first met, the girl did not notice this, since romance hid a lot. Going to the movies, candlelit dinners, and hugs at every turn smoothed out the rough edges, and you didn't give a damn. of great importance incompatibility in bed. But now the veil has been lifted from my eyes. And the woman is not quite comfortable next to the chosen one. And she mentally asks herself the question: "I don't want a husband... What should I do in this situation?"

Psychologists advise the girl to directly tell her soul mate what does not suit her. Together, the problem will be solved. If the reason is the lack of arousal, you can ask your husband to pay more attention to petting. Let him seduce again, become playful, passionate. A man is obliged to take off his old family swimming trunks, in which he used to wallow in front of the TV, and put on frank and sexy underwear. If the lady is not satisfied with her chosen one, he must bring her to the peak of pleasure in another way: oral sex, for example.

Incomprehensibility

This condition is familiar to every woman. She is 100% sure: the process is far from amazing and enchanting, but she cannot understand exactly where improvement is required. She just doesn't like going to bed, and she sighs doomedly: "I don't want to sleep with my husband ..." As a result, it's easier to refuse than to rack your brains in search of unsuccessful and annoying moments of physical intimacy.

In this case, the lady still has to find time to sit down and figure it out. Because no one else can solve the problem except for her. If the husband is correct, attentive, gentle, accurate, loves his wife's cooking and respects her mother, then the girl needs to look for reasons deep inside herself. Maybe she just needs a break or a variety in poses and locations. Then, so that there is no barrier called "I do not want closeness with my husband," you can wave to the sea or the mountains. A change in the familiar atmosphere, new acquaintances and adventures can revive the former passion and save the couple from an unwanted divorce.

persistence

The couple did not agree in temperaments: he wants several times a day, and two sexual acts a week are absolutely enough for her. And when the husband again "wants" his soul mate, she wants to run wherever her eyes look. The wife does not ask herself: she firmly knows the answer to this question - she got it. Yes, this happens often. The indefatigable rabbit in the person of the missus sticks to the woman, even when the surrounding reality does not favor physical intimacy: she is busy in the kitchen or preparing a report for a conference. Or just not in the mood to go to bed here and now. In addition, the girl is offended that they look at her only as an object of desire, ignoring the two received by her. higher education, knowledge of Shakespeare in the original and written philosophical articles.

There are two exits. The first - the wife refuses, but runs the risk of finding out in six months that the chosen one has a mistress. The second is to agree, relax and have fun. And this The best way, as with age, such moments will occur less and less. And in general, rejoice that you are wanted. Many women can only envy this state of affairs.

Flaw

A woman who is used to repeating: "I don't want sex with my husband" often lacks something. Psychologists say: a lack of communication can lead to the fact that feelings between spouses cool. In this case, the couple needs to spend as much time together as possible: go on picnics on weekends, take vacations and time off at the same time. If there are children, then it is better to leave them with their grandmother, so that the husband and wife can fully enjoy the common pastime.

Men should take an active part in personal life wife, share her interests, support plans, engage in a common hobby. Do not be afraid, no one forces the head of the family to cross-stitch, but it is quite within his power to look together. In addition, this will delight the lady, she will take a fresh look at relationships in marriage, especially on their physical side. The chosen one should take an active part in household chores, go shopping together and help children with their homework. Thus, he will unload her everyday life: the lady will not get tired, while the desire for intimacy will arise in her much more often than before.

complexes

They develop from childhood and prevent the beautiful half of humanity from living and loving. Any physical defect makes the wife ashamed of her body. And at the next bachelorette party, say to your friends: "I don't want to sleep with my husband!" A girl may avoid intimacy if she has small or too large breasts, a scar on her stomach, or crooked legs. Convincing a wife that she is loved for who she is is sometimes very difficult. If the lady is so obsessed with the problem, you can correct the flaw through surgery. It will also help to consult a psychologist who will teach a woman to love herself no matter what.

A chill in a relationship can appear even when a girl feels a lack of her sexuality, beauty, seductress skills. She is ashamed of her flabby tummy and silently envies the fit beauties that the gentleman stares at. To feel confident coquette, a lady should go in for sports, eat right and sign up for geisha courses. change her attitude towards sex - in a positive way.

Lover is the way out?

In this way, many women try to cut. It seems to them: if the husband does not cause proper emotions and sexual attraction, they should be looked for on the side. And then, as if by magic, a new employee comes to the office: smart, handsome, elegant, smiling. The husband clearly loses in comparison with him, especially if you remember the dump of dirty socks under the bed or his habit of picking his nose. Therefore, the new employee attracts the girl like a magnet, promising her heavenly mountains in the form of care, love and, of course, high-quality sensual sex.

A woman thinks: "I love, but I don't want a husband. I won't get a divorce, but I can please myself." But is the game worth the candle? Many ladies, having tasted the forbidden fruit, say no. Firstly, strict secrecy is needed, which takes a lot of time, effort and money. Secondly, remorse will not let you sleep at night. Thirdly, the lover will turn out to be the same man, prone to scattering socks. Therefore, it is unprofitable to start a gentleman on the side.

Four Justifiable No's

I don't want to sleep with my husband... How often you can hear this from friends, employees, or even from your own mother. The problem is as old as the world, and often the woman is not to blame for it. Agree, it’s one thing to go to bed with your soul mate when you don’t carry the burden of caring for the house and children. And it’s completely different when you are torn into a million pieces in order to have time to go to work, and feed your family, wash everything, iron it and clean up in the end. After such a marathon, you just want to fall on the bed and not move. At the same time, her husband's attempts to seduce cause nervous convulsions and attacks of aggression.

Sexologists say that there are four arguments in favor of women who do not want to forcefully make love:

• Dullness of sensations that causes depression and
• development of frigidity.
• The appearance of gynecological problems.
• Loss of attraction.

And to prevent this from happening, try to find the cause of your coldness and solve it using the methods described above.

What to do if you do not want to have sex with your husband?

If none of the above helps, you need to go the other way. Psychologists call the ability to fall in love with a chosen one again the most effective, trouble-free and useful method. This is quite difficult to do, especially when there are ten years of marriage behind you and a couple of children in the next room. For everything to work out, psychologists recommend focusing on positive qualities, you should pay attention to the fact that he has very strong sexy arms, but close your eyes to the hanging "ears" of fat on the sides. Although it is necessary to hint at problems in the figure. It is better if you attend training together.

“I don’t want a husband, what should I do?” the girl asks herself. At the same time, she does not suspect: one has only to recall the candy-bouquet period, as a feeling of warmth and tenderness will spread throughout the body. She needs to re-imagine those moments when he looked into his eyes in love, kissed his hands, made an offer, was on duty at the windows of the maternity hospital and launched fireworks at the birth of her first child ... These memories will make it clear that there is no closer person. Love will be reborn, and with it passion, and the desire for intimacy, and the thirst for new sexual experiments.