What is a person without self-esteem called? Cash flow and self-esteem. She shines through me! I'm like a conductor again

The virtues of a person can be judged not by his good qualities, but by how he uses them.

F. La Rochefoucauld

Psychotherapist Linda Sanford, who coined the term self-esteem, has done a great job of helping her patients raise their self-esteem.

Here is what she writes: “As a child, I had a low opinion of myself, and perhaps the most important thing that we learned while working on our book is the understanding that self-esteem is not something innate, given from God, it needs to be developed in itself.

Feel what wonderful words! Do you understand what that means?

Even if at the moment you give yourself only a “C”, this does not mean at all that it will remain so forever!

You will be able to develop a sense of self-worth, you will be able to increase your self-esteem. There will come a time, and soon enough, when you can give yourself an "A"! And I really hope that this book will help you with this. The most important thing is not to be lazy.

In order to solve a problem, you need to set a goal for yourself - that is, scientifically speaking, to create a dominant. In your case, the dominant is the formation of an adequate self-esteem.

Self-esteem should not be overestimated (then they will laugh at you) or underestimated (then everyone who is not lazy will wipe their feet on you, and you yourself will not respect yourself).

Know that in interpersonal relationships with guys (and then - men) you need to be equal partners!

The trouble with many girls is that they do not know how to demonstrate their obvious virtues.

And, of course, everyone has advantages! There are no people woven from some shortcomings, just as there are no people consisting of some virtues. Every person has both good and bad.

Bad qualities should not be shown to anyone and try to overcome, and good ones should be able to emphasize.

Who came up with this stupid thesis: modesty adorns a girl? Maybe it decorates, if there are no other advantages. In the last century, modesty may have been valued. Times are different now. Now individuality is valued.

Modesty adorns ... another girl.

The most important qualities in the fair sex, which are the key to her happy fate, are self-esteem, self-respect, self-confidence and adequate self-esteem.

For normal self-esteem, you need to soberly and objectively treat yourself. Next to you there are girls and girls who are superior to you in some way - more beautiful, more charming, more intelligent, more successful, more intelligent, more educated. So what? It is impossible to be the best, just as it is impossible to absorb everything positive traits. Ideal people there is no need to strive for the ideal. You are who you are, and love yourself as you are!

A person who does not love himself cannot inspire love for himself.

Surely in your environment there are girls who are inferior to you in some way. Compare yourself with them, analyze how they behave - do they also have complexes or accept themselves as they are?

You are no worse than others, you are different from other people, you are an individual.

It is just as impossible not to have a single advantage as it is not to have a single disadvantage.

Do you have self-esteem? Surely the answer will be in the affirmative. But is it really so? This quality is manifested not only in how you feel. It affects how people treat you and you in general. It depends on him whether you can fulfill your desires.

What is self-esteem

Self-esteem is how a person feels about himself and his own. This is a quality that has visible manifestations in behavior. It is reflected in a high assessment of one's own and rights.

Self-respect is also put on a par with FSD. However, these concepts should not be confused. Self-esteem and self-respect. And CSD is always associated with society.

A person with self-esteem has a number of characteristic features:

He behaves with restraint and dignity, which earns the respect of others.
Requires a lot from others. But he makes the same demands on himself.
Remembers his own and others' personal boundaries. Do not violate them under any circumstances.
Always has a neat appearance.
Does not try to assert itself at the expense of other people. He knows and accepts his virtues, achievements, successes. without hurting the dignity of others.
In any situation, outwardly remains. Act thoughtfully and decisively.
Do not waste time and energy on trifles. Not prone to rivalry, does not follow the majority, always has a personal opinion.
Making decisions, guided by their own beliefs.

A person with high self-esteem has a firm, confident character. Next to him, people feel calm and secure.

In men

For a man, this quality implies an understanding of himself as a person. Many of the men are far from it. They cannot accurately name their positive and negative sides, they are not sure of the correctness of the chosen path, of their strengths and views.

The feeling of self-esteem in a man is manifested as follows:

does not see the need to prove something to anyone, does not depend on the opinions of outsiders;
does not offend people, trying to prove superiority;
does not humiliate himself, does not humiliate others;
wants a decent life;
always defends his views and interests;
ready to work on ;
does not equal other men, remembers his individuality.

A man who has been able to develop a masculine HR is able to accept praise and criticism. Mistake for him is the path to improvement. He will not reproach and humiliate himself.

In some cases, representatives of the stronger sex are required to show dignity. We are talking about politicians, civil servants, heads of large enterprises.

Among women

A woman with a developed heart rate subtly feels her desires, has inner harmony, experiences satisfaction from life and absolute happiness. There are other distinguishing features:

Spends enough time caring for inner and outer beauty. , develops.
Allows herself to be weak, to receive support and help from a man.
He does not humiliate himself in front of the chosen one, does not beg for feelings, tenderness and affection. Gives him the opportunity to take steps to win her heart.

Adequate encourages her to be a real keeper of the hearth, to show sincere concern for her husband and children.

In a relationship

If we talk about relationships with other people, then CSD helps to understand and accept their opinion, respect the right to privacy.
Self-esteem in romantic relationships manifests itself in a different way. A man and a woman appreciate each other. But at the same time, they do not try to manipulate or change their partner. In caring for each other, they show sincerity.
Men and women who have developed dignity in themselves do not stoop to showdown, insults and humiliation. They don't yell, threaten or gossip.

What is the danger of inadequate self-esteem

Painful or inadequate self-esteem is fraught with many problems:

An overestimated heart rate or its absence affects the environment. In the first case, a person begins to humiliate others. In the second, he humiliates himself and allows others to behave in the same way.
A person with heightened self-love is often offended for no reason, is faced with disappointment, and is dissatisfied with life.
Low self-esteem encourages a person to consider himself a victim. He engages in self-flagellation.
Lack of dignity leads to lack of ambition, desire to develop, set and achieve goals.
Painful self-doubt makes one feel ashamed of actions and words. A person becomes vulnerable to manipulation from the outside.

Another risk of an exacerbated or low HR is associated with the responsibility for maintaining it. Think about how often victims of physical and emotional abuse hide what happened to them. They are ashamed of what happened. Many even consider themselves guilty in these situations. Psychology calls this behavior an attempt to maintain a sense of self-esteem at the proper level.

How to cultivate self-esteem

Building self-esteem starts with early childhood. It is important for parents to understand that the future of the child depends on them. They can raise a strong personality or self-deeming "victim".

To develop a sense of self-worth in children, parents need to adhere to six rules:

Convince your child unconditional love. This feeling should not stifle or restrict freedom. It should not be given for homework done or dishes washed. The child needs to know that he is a person, and not a weak-willed person who must live up to the expectations of adults.
Show your child that you are always ready to help. Care must be taken here. Your son or daughter should not feel under the hood. Just be open to communication, do not turn away from them in difficult moments.
Do not punish or insult if the child makes a mistake. Help him understand and correct it.
Help me learn how to solve problems on my own. Let your child look for solutions, and not avoid difficulties.
Under no circumstances should you compare your child to other children. This education is not self-esteem, but low self-esteem and self-doubt. Focus on good qualities, talents, skills.
Help your child get things done. But if he doesn't like something, don't push it. This rule will be especially important for parents of teenagers. It is during this period that children choose a profession and a further path in life.

And further. The formation of adequate self-esteem in the child contributes to respect from parents. They should not make fun of his dreams and desires. Otherwise, he will close in on himself, lose faith in his strength.

How to develop self-esteem

Self-esteem and self-esteem are closely related. Raising one, you will automatically be able to raise the other.
So, you can develop an adequate, and not exaggerated, heart rate in several ways:

Look at yourself through the eyes of other people, from the outside. Honestly evaluate your qualities, achievements, skills. You will be surprised to notice that your shortcomings are not so big. If you see some serious minus, do not blame yourself. Better think about how you can get rid of it. Conquering a problem is an opportunity to develop self-love and respect.
Don't belittle your accomplishments. You may think that they are insignificant compared to the successes of other people. Believe me, there are those who will admire you.
Find in your character those qualities for which you can be praised. Feel free to talk about them. If there are none, try to work them out. Here we are not talking about the features that are formed initially. This refers to a sense of humor, insight, neatness. These qualities will overshadow the shortcomings.
Another way to develop self-esteem in women and men is to learn to look at things realistically. Set goals that you can definitely achieve.
Listen carefully to your desires and feelings. If you don't listen to yourself, others will do the same. Therefore, boldly, but tactfully and gently talk about what you want. Don't be afraid to say if you disagree with something. Don't let people force their opinions on you. Remember, self-respect means you can live life the way you want.
To cultivate dignity in yourself, you need to understand when you have lost inner harmony. Perhaps this happened in early childhood, when you suffered from the neglect of your parents. Or maybe you were hurt a lot in your youth. There are many reasons. Define yours. Share your feelings with someone you can trust. Look at the situation from the outside. This psychological practice will help increase self-esteem, understand yourself as a person, become more confident.

You can gain self-respect through praise. If you focus on mistakes and shortcomings, depression and apathy develop. Therefore, notice your even small victories and achievements. Praise, encourage yourself. This will boost your self-esteem and give you the incentive to move on.

How to regain and maintain self-esteem

Raising self-esteem in a child is much easier than returning it to an adult. But it can be done.

To begin with, ask yourself the question: “Who am I really?”. The answer to it is the first step towards the formation of lost self-esteem. Think about this. A person is born with a unique set of qualities, the ability to love, empathize, with desires and preferences. AND gross mistake- go against yourself for the sake of external circumstances. In such cases, you internally resist action. From that moment on, destruction begins. Self-esteem goes down, confidence goes down. It's getting harder and harder to regain lost self-esteem. But it's worth trying.

To restore self-esteem will help development in four main areas of life:

Physical. Make time to take care of your appearance and health. Don't overwork yourself. Take small breaks during your work day. And full on weekends.
Emotional. Be open in dealing with people. Learn to be direct about what you don't like. But at the same time, try not to humiliate or offend the dignity of the interlocutor. Limit your interactions with those who are rude, irresponsible, or offhand.
Intellectual. New knowledge helps. Therefore, replace watching TV or, for example, computer games reading an interesting book. And then try to apply the information received in life.
Spiritual. The realization of the meaning of life will help to develop the lost dignity again. Think about the purpose of your existence, decide on the direction and.

From time to time analyze each of these areas, find, correct errors.
After you return an adequate assessment of yourself, you need to save it. To do this, remember a number of simple recommendations:

Every week, write down and achieve 7 small goals.
Plan to read at least one book a month.
Every day before going to bed, write down what you have done well, what you are proud of or even admire.
without humiliating or insulting the person.
or start doing what you have long wanted to do.
Forgive yourself for mistakes. People tend to make the wrong choice. Make them a stepping stone to improvement.
Limit communication with those who hinder your development.
Take risks. Life is too short to leave dreams for later.
Don't be afraid of anything. Look at the difficulties with .

Another tip is to face your fears. Defeating them will also help you develop respect for yourself as a person.

Conclusion

Every person needs to have self-esteem. It should not be too high or too low. Evaluate yourself objectively, considering both advantages and disadvantages. But in any case, do not humiliate. Remember, you, like all other people, deserve respect, good relationship to yourself. Live according to your principles, beliefs and desires.

Self-esteem

If a woman does not respect herself and does not feel her value, then she is not a long-awaited prize for a man.

A man needs a prize for his achievements and masculinity.

If a woman does not feel like a prize and behaves inappropriately, then she loses a man.

Self-esteem cannot be painted on your face even with the most expensive cosmetics. The most fashion clothes also won't give you that feeling for long. Internal female inferiority cannot hide from male eyes behind any external attributes, whether it be diplomas, a prestigious job, a big salary, cosmetics, expensive clothes, cars, an apartment and connections.

Women's confidence comes from within, from the feeling of feminine energy, inner plasticity and feminine dignity.

You can often hear phrases like this:

“You don’t respect me at all as a woman!”

- You don't care about me!

“I’m a woman, how can you talk to me like that!”

All this from the lack of their inner sense of dignity.

A woman can:

Resentfully withdrawing into oneself

Don't talk for weeks

Offended to make scandals because her husband did not notice her housework or another diploma,

Complain about beatings and bruises from her husband,

Complaining about her husband's drunken antics and much more, but all this is just confirmation that she has lost her self-esteem, and her husband feels this very much. He does not need a "bad man" instead of his beloved woman, depicting business activity and urging neighbors to judge who is right. When a man feels that you respect and appreciate yourself, he treats you with care and concern.

A man needs a loving, passionate woman who is hard to command. This does not mean that a woman will defend herself in disputes and struggles. Male manifestations and reactions in a woman only repel the man. A woman should be so feminine that the man next to her would want to be her courageous protector.

If a woman defends herself with the help of tantrums and other emotional attacks, then a man tries, first of all, to maintain his manly state. Women's tantrums only stir up a man's soul and raise an emotional wave, which he seeks to hide in order not to look weak. When a woman knows how to manage her emotions, to translate anger into children's laughter and mischief - this is a wonderful quality that men highly appreciate. The ability to calm any storm and create joy and harmony in the home - these qualities can help you change a tense situation and make you loving and loved.

This text is an introductory piece. From the book of Kryon. 45 practices to learn how to receive the help of the universe author Liman Arthur

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2 346

It is your birthright to develop your ego and soul. To develop self-esteem, we must wake up and grow. But what does it mean? To grow up is to mature psychologically and create a clear identity or ego.

Your self-esteem is the identity you carry every day all day long - it's your sense of "this is me" and "this is not me".

The sense of self, also known as the ego, is the way we think about who we are. It is a way to differentiate yourself from other people. It is the biological, psychological, emotional and spiritual destiny of all people to create their strong self.

For those who want to develop a stronger sense of self, here are some suggestions on how to do it.

1. Learn to be alone

Loneliness may sound like a scary word or idea, but it's actually a very nourishing practice. Making space to be alone is the best first step to developing a strong personality. How often are you really alone (without technological distractions) or people around you?

The benefit of spending time alone is that it creates space for you to listen to your inner self. Being alone means that all external distractions are put aside and you stay with yourself.

For some, this may sound intimidating. Subconsciously, many of us are afraid of being alone, but try to gently work through this discomfort and realize that time alone is absolutely essential in order to develop self-esteem. Find ways to be alone with yourself and explore your inner world.

2. Be clear about your likes, dislikes and values

For this activity, you will need a piece of paper and a pen. Divide your page into three parts: one section for your likes, one section for your dislikes, and last section for your valuables.

In the Likes and Dislikes section, remember those moments in your life when you felt either extremely happy or extremely unhappy. You can also think about what traits you like and dislike in other people. Write down your discoveries on a piece of paper. You can also reflect on the quality of your role models as well as your enemies. What do you like and dislike about each? Write down your thoughts.

Values are what you respect and value most about yourself and others. Examples of values include generosity, honesty, kindness, and so on. Our values are unique to us and come from our hearts and souls. To unlock your values, think about times in your life when you felt most proud of yourself and write them down. What qualities motivate your behavior? Write down your answer.

3. Set Boundaries and Learn to Say No

By creating strong boundaries, you strengthen your self-esteem by determining what is good and what is not good in social situations. You can also pay attention to any people in your life who often overstep your boundaries. Pay attention to how you feel about each person in your life - whether they support you and lift your spirits, or whether they drag you down.

When you feel exhausted, depressed, or unhappy after meeting a particular person, consider limiting your contact with them. You have every right to take a step back, make the rules and say no. Your time and energy is a finite resource, so make sure those who drain it are a long distance away from you.

4. Stop busy and tune in to yourself

Too much work can be a form of socially acceptable escape. When we focus on achieving goals and being productive, we are simultaneously diverting attention from ourselves and directing it from outside. There is nothing wrong with being an effective member of society. But have a balance between your work life and your inner life.

Consider simplifying your life, at least for a while. Reduce your obligations and do only what is necessary. Spend the rest of your free time exploring yourself and developing self-knowledge. One great way to develop a solid sense of self is to practice mindfulness and meditation. Mindfulness helps you reconnect with the present moment and how your mind, heart, and body are feeling. Meditation helps you pay attention to your inner thoughts. Try experimenting with both methods.

5. Redefine what success, happiness, and fulfillment mean to you.

If you have poor self-esteem, chances are that you are living on the idea of success, happiness, and fulfillment that others have given you. Don't worry, it's completely normal, plus you have the ability to change it. You have the ability to see that you don't have to be rich or popular to be successful - YOU define success. You have the ability to see that you don't have to have an unusual job or a big family to be happy - YOU define happiness.

You don't have to be spiritually elevated to experience satisfaction - YOU determine what it means to you to be satisfied and happy. Your life is in your hands, and don't let anyone try to tell you what you should do, feel, think, or strive for. YOU can say "no, it's not for me".

6. Learn more about your personality

Your personality is unique and multifaceted - and there are so many ways to explore it! Dive into the mechanism of your ego is exciting, and today there are so many books, seminars, articles on the Internet that encourage self-reflection. Because it is a fun way to get to know yourself better.

7. Take responsibility only for yourself (not for other people)

Weak self-esteem means that you tend to empathize too much with others in order to take responsibility for their feelings and actions. Stop it. Understand that the only person you are responsible for is yourself. Your parents, friends, colleagues, children, and partners are ultimately responsible for their own happiness - it's not your job to make them happy. They are responsible for making themselves happy.

With the exception of small children who need constant guidance, those who have grown and matured must control their own lives. By trying to take responsibility for others, you deprive them of the opportunity to learn an important life lesson: we must all be sovereign and in control of our views, feelings, and actions. It's not your job to be friends with everyone, take care of everyone, save everyone, or make everyone happy. Keep reaffirming this to yourself and it will be easier for you to strengthen your personality as you will no longer be giving all that energy to others.

8. Explore your passions

What turns you on? What makes you feel alive? What activities do you like? By exploring your passions, you are helping the ego development process that we all have to go through. Pay attention to what hobbies or skills grab you and draw you to them. Give yourself permission to follow these passions and see where they lead you.

9. Be a rebel: question everything

As Carl Jung - the great proponent of developing a healthy sense of self - once wrote:

“I carefully avoided all the so-called holy people. I did this because I had to deal with my own truth, not accept from others what I could not achieve on my own ... I must shape my life from myself, from what my inner being tells me or what nature brings me ."

This quote epitomizes the essence of what it means to develop a strong sense of self. Having a healthy ego means believing in yourself and listening to your own truth.

Developing a strong personality involves a certain level of will or willpower. You must be willing to ask questions about how others are trying to influence you and ask, "Does this feel like it's true for me?" and “Do I think this is right?”.

Over the course of your life, you will inevitably be presented with numerous points of view, beliefs, values, and ideals from other people that do not seem authentic to you. In order to distinguish between what seems to be genuine and unreliable, you must ask questions and pay attention to your inner feelings.

What is a person without self-esteem called? Cash flow and self-esteem. She shines through me! I'm like a conductor again