The main mistakes of girls in a relationship. "Why did He leave me?" Mistakes of girls in relationships with guys. Female mistakes, appearance
To be honest, I can't stand the expression "He left me." It humiliates us, so it is preferable to call it "breakup", "breakup" or something like that, even "in the mind". A woman, trying on the image of "abandoned" by this alone, self-destructs, relegating herself to the position of an inanimate object. However, today's conversation will not be about wording, but about how to keep a guy. What you need to do and how to behave so that you are not “thrown”.
The initial stages of a relationship tend to be relatively easy. Everything happens as if by itself, some faster, some slower, but that's not the point. The main difficulties arise a little later, when the “caramel-flower period” is lived. What do I mean by this? - You have already confessed your love to each other, behind the first flowers, the first kisses and, possibly, the first sex, and now you are his girlfriend, and He is your boyfriend.
It would seem that hearts have been won and you can safely "rest on your laurels", but that was not the case. Any relationship, and especially the relationship of the sexes, is a permanent job, which cannot be skipped, as well as delegated to another person.
If you do not constantly remember the need to maintain a healthy relationship, the guy will leave you, and then you are doomed to search for the answer to the question: "".
I do not pretend to cover absolutely all the mistakes that women make during the period of building a relationship with a guy, and will focus only on the most common and fatal mistakes, in the hope that this will help you avoid them in the future or correct them (while it is not too late) if you have already done them.
Let's find out about the three most common types of behavior in women in which a guy is highly likely to "leave" you.
woman is jealous
Jealousy is the most common and most fatal of all the mistakes of a woman. I agree that it is very difficult not to be jealous if you are “jealous”. It is difficult to suppress this feeling in oneself and rarely does anyone have enough willpower to tell himself: “Don't be jealous!”, but this is not necessary. At the very least, you should have the strength and common sense not to show it. Because jealousy is a direct path to the destruction of relationships.
Initially, when memories of first dates are still fresh in my mind, open displays of jealousy “Why did you smile at the waitress?”, “Who is this new girl at work? Is she more beautiful than me?”, “So I believed you that you were late at work, probably just saw a pretty girl,” etc., all this can be perceived as evidence of love and fear of losing a lover. But later, it becomes painful for the guy and jealousy gradually obscures all the good that is between you.
Over time, a man begins to consider your jealousy as a manifestation of distrust of himself. How nice do you think it is to be around someone who doesn't trust you? How can a guy make plans for a future life together with you and see you as his wife if there are already problems of this kind in the relationship? I think you can answer this question yourself.
I draw your attention to the fact that it absolutely does not matter whether you have reasons for jealousy or not. In any case, manifestations of jealousy are unacceptable. Because if jealousy is unfounded - your a good relationship will be destroyed, and if justified, then the relationship will still not be saved with its help.
By showing your jealousy, you will only once again convince the guy that he needs to leave you, even if he is still hesitant about making such a decision.
female investigator
Control and "torture" with interrogation - usually stem from jealousy, but not always a woman gives a desire to control a man "under jealous sauce." Very often we try to disguise the desire to know about every step of a loved one in concern for him, for his health, life and well-being. In fact, we are worried about ourselves.
But even if we assume that you are really worried, all the same, a man considers this: either as an encroachment on his freedom; or as an attempt to dominate him even in small things. The guy does not forgive such an attitude, especially if he is not used to reporting for his every step to his mother or older sister.
Constant attempts to total control over the movement of a man in space, treating him as a suspect in a crime and the ensuing "investigative experiments" with the "tracking" of time and the formulation of "uncomfortable" questions, almost guaranteed, will lead the guy to leave you.
Let me turn to an example from the life of one of my clients. It will be a little long, but I want to convey the absurdity of the situation:
“Okay, the street was blocked there, but you could get through the yard!”
- At first I went like this, but there was a large puddle in the yard, and I had to return to the bus stop again and walk along the boulevard - around.
- Well, where was this puddle?
“Just under the arch in front of the entrance to the courtyard, it was impossible to bypass it without getting your feet wet!”
- Let's say I check tomorrow whether there is a puddle or not. But you could not go back, but go along the side street!
“Listen, tomorrow the puddle may already be dry, and you won’t see anything there!”
- It's okay, if, as you say, the puddle was very large, then it will not have time to dry ... but do not evade, but answer the question!
— On what?!
- Which I just asked you!
“Is it about why I couldn’t get through the yard?”
- Don't make a fool out of yourself! I asked why didn't you go down the side street?!!!
“Because this street has poor pavement, and I thought that there are also a lot of large puddles after the rain.
- Did you see that? Did you see these puddles or just thought that they might be there?
- No, I didn’t see puddles, because I immediately returned to the bus stop!
“So you didn’t see the puddles, so why do you claim that they were there?!!!
I'm not stating, I'm guessing!
- Well, let's leave this question for now. So you're saying you took a detour, right?
- Well, yes!
- Yeah, we think ... from the stop to the arch - about 10 minutes, back the same, a total of 20. From the stop to the cinema across the boulevard, about another 10 minutes, totaling 30 minutes. But you spent as much as (now I'll look at my watch) 37 minutes on the road!!!
“Listen, we're already late for the movies because of the showdown you're having here.
"So you're saying that I ruined today because of me?!" It turns out interesting ... and I'm still to blame for everything !!! And all because you're lying to me!!! Tell me the truth, where have you been all this time???!!!
Funny? From the outside - yes, but for a guy there is nothing funny about this, especially if this is repeated for any reason and for no reason.
A woman is the owner of "you are my life!"
Usually representatives of this behavior model torment the guy with their attention. Not even so - they demand undivided attention to themselves and simply “crush” a man with their love, demanding that the guy spend all his time in their company.
This is less reminiscent of jealousy and deprivation of elementary freedoms, but you still need to remember that, despite your boundless love for your partner, he is a person, moreover, a free person. A guy will not necessarily have exactly the same feelings for you that you have for him, but this does not mean at all that he does not love you!
No, he loves you and loves you very much, but he also has other interests - work, friends, parents, the desire to be alone with himself, do his favorite hobby, etc. If you yourself don’t have such desires, then this does not mean that the guy should give up his own, just for the reason that he is “the only light in the window” for you and therefore simply has to love you in exactly the way you tell him impose.
If, after reading this article, you recognize yourself in it or find at least a small similarity, consider correcting your behavior, otherwise you have every chance to join the ranks of those who ask the question: “Why did He leave me?” and ... does not find an answer.
FROM THE AUTHOR: My responses in the comments are the opinion of a private individual, and not the recommendation of a specialist. I try to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I don’t physically have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also don’t have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires a huge amount of free time, and I have very little of it.
In this regard, I kindly ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, do not expect that I will advise in the comments or accompany your situation.
Of course, you can ignore my request (which many do), but in this case, be prepared for the fact that I may not answer you. This is not a matter of principle, but exclusively of time and my physical capabilities. Don't be offended.
If you want to receive qualified assistance, please contact me for advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.
With respect and hope for understanding, Frederica
To be the next one or the only one? The difference is huge. Every girl, having fallen in love, dreams of receiving a marriage proposal, only men are in no hurry to lead the faithful to the registry office. Wedding rings are seen by the stronger sex as handcuffs and shackles. With such an attitude towards marriage, how can one manage to become a wife?! All you need to do is follow 10 sacred rules based on corrected errors.
Mistakes that ruin relationships
1. Routine
A man is polygamous - give them different girls. When they are forced to live with one, they certainly dream of getting into the company of tanned insatiable beauties and being the only male there. A woman has to look for ways to keep her lover's attention.
Routine is what the keeper of the hearth has to deal with. You need to arrange romantic dinners, feel free to dance for your loved one surrounded by candles, organize spontaneous trips from time to time. All this will stimulate a man and will not let him get bored. Yes, such a hard fate modern woman. There are many competitors, but few men, so it’s impossible to scatter them.
2. Notations, tantrums
Oh, how men are afraid of women's tears! They are ready to jump from the bridge, just not to hear the tantrums, reproaches and sobs of the chosen ones. This explains the love of men for care in English. It’s easier for them to disappear than to speak frankly with a girl.
And the representatives of the stronger sex do not tolerate women who now and then saw them. He looked at the long-legged girl - wait for lectures, late from work - wait for lectures, did not call at the promised time - wait for lectures. Men run from this like fire.
Why cut your soul mate? Let it stay intact. Instead of once again reproaching a man, it is better to remain silent, smile mysteriously and go about your business. The effect will be much stronger, and the man will not want to run away without looking back.
3. Guardianship
Even grown-up men who have taken place have silly little ones inside - three-year-old boys who love to be capricious, play cars and run away from their mother. They evade excessive female tutelage by hanging out with friends at a bar, slicing through the city in their favorite car, mesmerizing living creatures on a fishing trip. You need to give your partner this freedom and take up some hobby yourself. A man respects a woman who has her own interests.
4. Addiction
The more independence in a woman's being, the more a man appreciates it. Well, he does not like it when "prey" follows him, the hunter, on his heels. Independent, self-sufficient girls attract the opposite sex no worse than written beauties. To win a real male, you need to once and for all abandon the phrases “call when you arrive, otherwise I will worry”, “you ate”, “immediately after work home” and the like. A wife is, first of all, a beloved, and only then a mother of children and a caring hostess. Do not change the order of these hypostases.
5. Alteration
An adult is a personality that has been formed over many years. It is impossible to remake it, even if the desire is great. Adjust? There are chances. However, it is necessary to be a subtle psychologist or NLP master in order to make at least some changes in the character and way of thinking. An ordinary woman should not be engaged in a rearrangement in the soul of her lover. Accepting a partner as he is is a guarantee of peace and a happy life together.
6. Pathological jealousy
If a woman is jealous, she declares her insecurity both in a man and in herself. You should not compete with potential rivals, check the guy's phone, turn out his pockets, sniff clothes. This will not give positive results, because cautious men cheat in such a way that everything is covered up. Facts will not come to light, and doubts will skyrocket. Pathological jealousy scares young people away, because it is a constant control, therefore, an encroachment on their freedom. Yes, and the removal of the brain has not yet made a single person happy.
7. Obsession
From time to time, a man needs to go into his cave, which exists in his mind. The opportunity to be alone, to reflect is an important component of life. No need to ask every time the question “what are you thinking about”, which is annoying young man, causes irritation. Indeed, often he does not think about anything at all - he just looks at one point.
8. Shopping
It is rare that a man loves to go shopping. He usually prefers a sofa and TV, which are much more attractive than racing on trade pavilions. A woman should understand this and not force her beloved to walk with her. It is better to take a friend who probably knows a lot about shopping.
9. Chatter
Silence is golden, and men agree with that. Chatty girlfriends tire them out after five minutes of talking. Not a single representative of the stronger sex likes it when endless verbal streams come from a girl, especially those that do not carry meaning. If you really want to talk out, it is better to call a friend and pour a tub of information on her.
10. Ask about love
It is worth asking a man “do you love me”, as he begins to get nervous and angry. Guys reduce conversations about feelings to zero, and this is typical of their nature. Emotionality is the prerogative of women, although in fact men can also love, suffer, yearn, doubt. Actions replace talking about feelings. If a man loves his passion, he will show and prove it with deeds.
Of course, relationships are kept not only on the female half. Much depends on the man. Harmony occurs when both contribute, equally give and take.
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| Valeria Kaibeleva 18.05 23:33 |
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In general, I agree with these points, however, I checked for myself that a guy, if he loves, will endure. Abuse, however, is not worth it. True, in terms of "call when you get there, you ate" and so on, in my opinion, is not entirely true. A man, one way or another, needs care. It is only necessary to draw a line between an attempt to care and an attempt to impose oneself. And I will not say that my man is not a male, no, he is a self-sufficient, adult and independent person, but he perfectly understands what I am going through. |
The novels of women develop according to the same scenario. You put yourself in order, put on the most beautiful outfit, put on a marathon and go to a public place where you meet your future boyfriend. You like the guy so much that the feeling grows into love.
You cannot live without it for a day, you constantly suffer and think about how. Call and make an appointment. Everything seems to be going smoothly, but there come moments when he has new things to do, he is often busy, and then he stops calling altogether. Unfortunately, you realize that all your novels end like this, and there is no way, the chance is lost forever. Girls prefer to consider guys and men as goats. Of course, after all, believing in your own mistakes and mistakes is much more difficult than just complaining about life and shifting the blame onto other people.
What do you still need to do, what are the main mistakes that hinder the building of relationships? There is a list of actions that should never be allowed when communicating with a new guy. By avoiding the items on this list, you can develop a relationship well and not cut off the interest of a potential partner at the very beginning.
A lot of attention and care is a gross mistake!
Don't impose your society. Perhaps no clarification is required here? You should not constantly call him on his mobile and ask how he is doing, what he is doing and where he is. This can sometimes be stressful, or even infuriating. If a guy complimented you, don't attribute it to an explanation and crazy love on his part. Perhaps it was just a compliment.
Take breaks. You should not constantly look for him in the crowd and come to visit for any reason. Men love inaccessible women. Try not to call him for a while, do not take the first steps, but wait for this from the gentleman. If you think you've been pushy lately, don't pick up the phone multiple times when he calls. Say you just didn't hear the call. A man will understand that you are not sitting over the phone waiting for a call and, since a man is a hunter by nature, he will be interested in winning your heart, and in the process, he himself will not notice how he will fall in love irrevocably.
Female mistakes, appearance
Do not think that too bright and catchy makeup makes you more attractive in the eyes of your lover. He is more likely to scare off the gentleman. Do not choose too bright colors for makeup that cut into the eyes. Delicate bed colors are perfect. Do not think that the makeup of an indifferent bitch will ensure you victory over his heart. A man may think that you are too easily accessible and will not seek the attention of such a woman. If a guy needs love without commitment, you will become a temporary girlfriend. But you won't be able to build.
Follow simple advice above, and the man who won your heart will definitely be with you. You should not let everything take its course, in love affairs you should not rush and do rash acts. Don't blindly trust your heart. Before you do something, think carefully about what such an action could lead to on your part. A man who takes the first step is considered a real man, and a woman with such a step only shows her stupidity.
Women are amazing in some of their qualities. For example, any woman can do the same thing all the time and expect different results, regardless of age and level of education. How to get out of this vicious circle? Indeed, it is precisely because of the persistent actions of women themselves that they often have problems in personal life.
The reaction to your actions is an indisputable fact ... If you want to be a happy, caressed woman, you should change some of the usual things that you don’t even attach importance to. These behaviors have their unfortunate consequences!
Women's mistakes in relationships
Hyperfunctionality - property female psyche when a woman is not in control. She cannot stop being active and wants to do everything on her own, nothing else. She has answers for everything, she will fight back anyone. But why does it never bring happiness? Think about it…
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