Osho love and marriage. How marriage can ruin life (Osho). Marriage is a dilemma

Does anyone like Osho, his teachings and appeals to debauchery? and got the best answer

Answer from Hegumen Ephraim [guru]
He did business and shocked the crowd, not hiding it. "I am the guru of the rich," he said. What kind of spirituality can we talk about? Take, for example, his grandiose scam with his personal city of Rajneeshpuram ... "The Osho Bible" is not even a philosophical work, but rather a powdery one. Well, what was his debauchery ...

Answer from Stephen Korolev[active]
What you call debauchery is debauchery only from a Christian point of view. Although I don't know much about OSHO, I honestly admit.

Answer from Yovet[guru]
Why not just read it to understand their point of view, filter and take what you need. In general, I have this attitude towards literature, I read, sift through, this is just information. Why take everything on faith.

Answer from Ѐama Rama[guru]
He was never born, never died, he just stayed on Planet Earth 🙂
Jesus also called on People to love each other, and let him be the first to throw a Stone at me who is without Sin 🙂

Answer from NATO member[guru]
you slander a decent person

Answer from Delirium Sunny[guru]
You are prejudiced towards him and you have a ready-made opinion that will not move right away ... Although Jesus said that a tree is valued for its fruits, and a person for deeds, in the case of wise men, you should not evaluate by actions and effective advice ... We may simply not understand the true motives of this or that advice. For example, I consider it simply vandalism to worship the relics of saints, and even more so to transport them from place to place. But whether Christians will agree with me ... I prefer to think over the words of the sages, and not judge them ... I'm afraid you know Osho biasedly and not when you did not approach his thoughts openly and carefully. Or maybe they are not even familiar in principle, but judge with confidence what he called for ...

Answer from Yotas[guru]
Osho: "How could there have been a 'word' in the beginning? Just look at this idea. How in the beginning could there have been a word? Then what was before the word? Of course, there had to be silence - before the word broke it."
Osho asks a dull question: “Then what was before the word?” How can there be something BEFORE the BEGINNING, if at the very beginning there was the Word? If there was an opportunity to be something before the Word, then the Word would no longer be at the beginning.

Answer from Someone[guru]
And who is also OSHO? You talk about debauchery 😀

Answer from User deleted[guru]
I read Osho. In places the philosophy is very reasonable. Although he never became a life mentor.
In what I read, I did not notice the call for debauchery.
Therefore, it would be clearer what you mean if you cited a link to specific teachings.
Although my opinion is:
A person prone to licentiousness will become licentious whether he has read Osho or not. A mature and mentally healthy person can read everything and not get worse from it.

In order to enable a woman to fully experience an orgasm, a man needs to learn foreplay, a preliminary love game, he should not rush to sleep. His love should be akin to art. For intimate meetings, you need to have a special place, a temple of love, where the air is filled with incense, where there is no bright light, where only candles are burning. You need to get close to a woman only in a wonderful, cheerful mood in order to share bliss with her. But it often happens that before an intimate meeting, a man and a woman quarrel with each other. It poisons love. Love is like a kind of ceasefire, at least for this evening. Otherwise, it is a bribe, a deception.
* A man should have sex like an artist painting a picture: when the heart is filled with a strong desire; or like a poet composing a poem or a musician playing beautiful music. A woman's body should be treated like a musical instrument; that is what it is. When a man feels joy, sex no longer becomes just a release, relaxation, sleeping pills. He is playing a love game. He dances with a woman, he sings with her to the vibrations of beautiful music in the temple of love, filled with his favorite incense.
* Love should be something sacred. Until love becomes sacred, there will be nothing sacred in ordinary life. And this will be the beginning of the attainment of what is called superconsciousness.
* Love does not tolerate violence, it does not depend on human efforts. It shouldn't come from the mind at all: a person plays, dances, sings, enjoys; love is part of endless joy. Love is beautiful when it comes by itself. Only free love blooms. Violent love is ugly.
* A woman is capable of multiple orgasms, so a man needs to be as calm as possible. But in reality he is in such a hurry in everything that he only ruins everything with this haste. He needs to be very relaxed so that the partner can achieve multiple orgasms. He should strive to experience an orgasm at the very end, when the woman has already reached the peak of arousal. It's just a matter of understanding.
* These differences are natural; they have nothing to do with prejudice. There are other differences as well. For example, a woman is more spiritual than a man ... She is calmer, more patient, peaceful, she is able to wait. It may well be that thanks to these qualities, a woman has a higher resistance to disease, and therefore she lives longer. With her serenity and sophistication, a woman perfectly complements a man. She can surround him with an atmosphere of comfort and tranquility.
* But a man is afraid, he does not want to be surrounded by the atmosphere of a woman, he does not want her to create comfort and warmth around him. This is due to the fear of becoming addicted to her. Therefore, for centuries, a man kept a woman at a distance. He is frightened, because deep inside he realizes that a woman is more important to nature. She is able to give new life. It was her, and not the man, that nature chose to reproduce.
* The role of men in reproductive issues is reduced to almost zero. This inferiority led to the biggest problem: the man began to clip the woman's wings. He began to resort to any means of humiliation, condemnation of a woman in order to maintain at least the belief that he is superior to her. A man has always treated a woman like livestock, even worse. For thousands of years in China, it was believed that a woman had no soul, so her husband could take her life with impunity, because she was his property. He could destroy his furniture, it was not illegal. In the same way, he could destroy his woman, the law did not forbid this. The highest offense for a woman is the statement that she has no soul.
* The man deprived the woman of the opportunity to get an education, put her in financial dependence on himself. Fear forced him to forbid her to lead an active lifestyle in society. He knows that she is superior to him, he knows that she is beautiful, he knows that it is dangerous to grant her independence. Therefore, for centuries a woman was dependent on a man. A Muslim woman should hide her face so that no one except her husband can see the beauty of her face, the depth of her eyes.
* In Hinduism, a woman must die after her husband. What great jealousy! You have owned it all your life, but even after your death you want to have it. You are scared. She is beautiful, and after you die, anything can happen. She may find another partner, perhaps even more worthy than you. Therefore, the sati system has dominated for centuries, and this is the most disgusting that the imagination can only draw.
* The man is very selfish. That's why I call him a chauvinist. This society was created by a man; there is no place for a woman in it. And a woman has unique qualities!
* For example, if a man has the ability to work intellectually, then a woman is gifted with the ability to love. This does not mean that she is not able to engage in intellectual work, she can do it, it is just necessary to give her the opportunity to develop her intellect. But the ability to love is given to a woman from birth, she has more compassion, kindness, understanding ... A man and a woman are two strings of the same harp, and when they are separated, both suffer. Because of this suffering and misunderstanding of its true cause, they begin to take revenge on each other.
* The role of women in creating a harmonious society can hardly be overestimated. She is different from the man, but not inferior to him. She is as equal to him as any other man. Her unique abilities are very much needed. It is not enough to make money, it is not enough to achieve success in society, it is more important to have a beautiful home, and a woman is able to turn any home into a home. She can fill him with love, she has such a talent. She can make a man look younger, help him relax.
* In the Upanishads, one can find a very strange instruction for young married couples. The newly minted couple comes to the interpreter of the Upanishads, and he gives them a blessing. He turns to the girl with the words: "I hope you will become a mother of ten children, and your eleventh child will be your husband. Until you become a mother to your husband, you cannot be a faithful wife to him." Very strange words, but they give the key to understanding modern human psychology: every man is looking for his mother in a woman, and every woman is looking for a father in a man.
* This is why marriages are so unsuccessful: it is impossible to find your mother in a marriage. You married a woman who came to your house not to be your mother, she wants to be your wife, your mistress. But the blessing of the Upanishads, which is five or six thousand years old, provides an explanation for the phenomenon of modern psychology. For a woman, whoever she is, nature has assigned the role of a mother. The institution of paternity is far-fetched, it is unnatural ... But the mother remains irreplaceable. Scientists conducted an experiment: they provided newborns with everything they needed - food, medicines, proper care ... according to the latest achievements of various branches of science, but, oddly enough, the children became sick and even died after three months. In the course of this experiment, it was discovered that the mother's body, her warmth are absolutely indispensable for the development of a new life. In such a gigantic, cold universe, the warmth of the mother is absolutely necessary for the child's survival, otherwise he will feel abandoned. He will hurt and die ...
* There is no need for a man to feel humiliated around a woman. The comparison itself appears because a man and a woman are treated as two different beings. But they belong to one humanity, their qualities are mutually complementary. They need each other; and only together they form a single harmonious whole. Life should be taken calmly. Differences are not contradictions. They can help each other and greatly enhance each other. A woman in love with you can help increase your creativity, can inspire you to heights that you never dreamed of. And she doesn't ask for anything in return. She just needs your love, and this is her natural right.
* Many of the differences between a woman and a man are related to conditioning. Differences need to be maintained, for they are the ones that make men and women attractive to each other, but they cannot be used to judge each other. I would like a man and a woman to turn into an organic whole, while remaining absolutely free, because love never turns into bondage, it gives freedom. Then we can improve the world. Half of the planet was not allowed to express themselves, and this - the female - half has a huge supply of energy in order to change the world. She would turn the world into a blooming paradise.
* A woman needs to find her own potential in her soul and develop it, then she will have a wonderful future. A man and a woman cannot be compared, they are unique. The meeting of two unique creatures creates a miracle.
* Due to the fact that a woman was always ruled, mocked at her, turning her into a faceless creature, she became disgusting. When the inner nature of a person is suppressed, his inner needs are not satisfied, his soul turns sour, poisoned, disfigured, paralyzed - it becomes perverted.
* The present woman is not a true woman, for she has been subjected to humiliation and violence for centuries. And when a woman's soul is distorted, a man also cannot remain natural, for in the end it is a woman who gives life to a man. If she is unnatural, then her children will also be unnatural. If she is unnatural, she will still become a mother to a child, boy or girl, and her children will definitely fall under her influence.
* A woman really needs a great liberation, but what is happening now under the guise of liberation is simply stupid. This is imitation, not liberation.
* Real liberation will return the woman's lost true feminine qualities, she will stop imitating a man. Now women are trying to be like men in everything. Mimicking the man, the woman lit a cigarette. In imitation of the man, the woman put on trousers. A woman always and in everything tries to imitate a man. She just becomes a second-rate man.
* This is not liberation, but an even deeper bondage - much deeper, since the first bondage is imposed by a man. This second slavery is deeper, because it is created by the women themselves. When slavery is imposed from the outside, one can rebel against it, but if a person binds himself in the bonds of slavery in the name of liberation, then all hope of rebellion disappears. I would like a woman to become a woman, because a lot depends on her. She is much more important than a man, for she bears both a man and a woman in herself. She is a mother to both, a boy and a girl, she feeds both. If her soul is poisoned, then her milk is also poisoned, and then the methods of raising children will be vicious.
* If a woman does not have sufficient freedom for self-expression, then a man will never get the opportunity for full self-expression. The liberation of the woman is a necessary condition for the liberation of the man; the freedom of a woman is of paramount importance. And if a woman is in slavery - as it has been for centuries - then she will make a man a slave, but very subtly; it works very subtly. A woman will not openly conflict with a man, her struggle is indirect, purely female. She will cry, cry. She will not hit a man, she will suffer herself, and because of women's suffering, women's sobs and lamentations, even the strongest man will fall under her heel.
* A gentle, weak woman rules a strong man ... A woman needs complete release in order to give freedom to a man. One of the fundamental laws should be remembered: having enslaved someone, a person himself ultimately turns into a slave, he cannot be free. If he wants to be free, then he must give freedom to others, there is no other way.
* I think that it is easier for a woman than for a man to abandon chauvinism, to get out of this vicious circle, for she is capable of great love and compassion. The man is more aggressive, more cruel. I do not have high hopes for men, I hope for women. That is why I do not support the aggressive methods and approaches of the women's liberation movement ... The problems of life can be solved only with love, they cannot be solved with hatred.
* A man and a woman are different worlds, so it is difficult for them to understand each other. There have been plenty of misunderstandings in the past, but this does not mean that they will necessarily be in the future. We need to take a lesson from the past - a lesson that a man and a woman need to understand each other more, to accept each other's differences. These differences are very important, they should not become a source of conflict, on the contrary, differences cause mutual attraction between a man and a woman.
* If all the differences between a man and a woman disappear, if they have the same psychology, then love will also disappear, because polarities, opposites will disappear. Man and woman resemble the negative and positive poles of electricity, they are magnetically attracted to each other.
* Since these poles are opposite, their conflict is natural. However, thanks to understanding, compassion, love, thanks to penetration into each other's world and the manifestation of sympathy, any problems can be solved. There is no need to create new conflicts - there are plenty of them already.
* A man needs liberation no less than a woman. Both of them need liberation, liberation from mental attitudes. They need to cooperate with each other and help each arc free from prejudices. This will become a real liberation movement.
* Civilization is an artificiality, civilization takes a person further and further from nature. The more civilized a person becomes, the more he begins to depend on his prejudices. He loses contact with his heart. And the human heart is still primitive. I am glad that universities still have not found a way to train the heart and make it more civilized. The heart is humanity's only hope for survival.

Sexuality.

Humanity, and especially its female half, suffers from many ailments. Until today, all so-called civilizations and cultures have been psychologically ill. They never dared to admit their ailments; and the first step to recovery is to acknowledge the fact of the disease. The relationship between a man and a woman was especially contradictory, unnatural.
* From the point of view of biological reproduction, orgasm is not necessary. But orgasm is essential for spiritual growth and improvement.
* I believe that at the dawn of mankind it was the feeling of bliss in orgasmic ecstasy that prompted a person to meditate, to seek even more pleasant, more intense, more vivid sensations. The ability to orgasm is a natural proof that a person has the ability to experience unlimited bliss. Orgasm simply shows that a person's possibilities are endless, and then the person continues to search.
* Science has only recently recognized the existence of orgasm. It was only in this century that psychologists first encountered the problems of women in matters of sex. Thanks to psychoanalysis and other psychological methods, experts agreed that the modern woman remains a domestic servant; she is deprived of the possibility of spiritual growth.
* Ejaculation is enough for procreation; from the point of view of biology, there are no problems here, the problem lies in the psychological plane. Women become very irritable, grumpy, bitchy, and the reason for this is that they have been deprived of their inalienable right; they don't even know what it is about.
* Only in the West does the younger generation know about the existence of orgasm. And it is not by chance that it set off in search of truth, ecstasy, for orgasm lasts only a moment, but thanks to it, glimpses of the beyond appear. The sensation of orgasm is accompanied by the following: firstly, the mind calms down, for a moment it disappears, and secondly, time stops. This moment of orgasmic joy is so all-encompassing and complete that it equates to eternity.
* Since ancient times, people have realized that these sensations give the maximum pleasure of all that nature provides. A simple and logical conclusion was made that if you stop the talkative mind and become so silent that everything stops, including time, a person is freed from sexuality. Then you can not depend on another person, woman or man, you can achieve this meditative state yourself. An orgasm cannot last more than a moment, and meditation can be extended for a whole day.
* People like Gautama Buddha spend every moment of their lives in orgasmic joy, and it has nothing to do with sex.
* I am asked again and again why so few women have attained enlightenment. Among others, the most important reason is that they have never had an orgasm. They never had a window to the endless sky. They lived, gave birth to children and died. Men used them as factories for the production of children.
* In the East, even today it is not easy to find a woman who has experienced an orgasm. I have talked with many educated, intelligent women - they all have no idea about it. In fact, there is not even an equivalent to the word "orgasm" in Eastern languages. It was not necessary, it was never thought about.
* The man taught the woman that only prostitutes can enjoy sex. They moan, scream, scream, they almost go crazy; a self-respecting lady would never stoop to that. Therefore, a woman cannot relax and deep inside feels humiliation - she was simply used. Many women told me that after an intimate relationship, the husband began to snore, and their tears choked them.
* A woman is very similar to a musical instrument, her body is very sensitive, and this sensitivity needs to be developed. You can't do without foreplay here. After intimacy, a man cannot immediately fall asleep, it is wild, uncivilized, disrespectful. The woman who gave you such joy needs attention after the final phase, and this attention should be given to her at least from a feeling of gratitude.
* Every woman is afraid, because if she loses control alone with a man, then the man will be afraid. He cannot handle it, his sexuality is very limited. As a donor, he loses energy during sexual intercourse. A woman does not lose energy, on the contrary, she feels a surge of strength.
* Until a woman ceases to control herself during intimacy, she will not have the opportunity to experience an orgasm. At least my students should understand that when experiencing an orgasm, a woman will moan, scream and scream. This is because her whole body is involved, full participation takes place.
* Don't be afraid of it. These sensations are extraordinarily healing: a woman will not be bitchy, she will stop grumbling, because all nervous energy is transformed into boundless joy.
* Let love become a real holiday, do not do everything on the go, in a hurry. Sex doesn't have to come from the mind; sex is music, song, dance. Planned sex is unnatural, sex should be spontaneous. Create an appropriate atmosphere. The bedroom should be a shrine, a temple. Do not do anything else in the bedroom; sing, dance, play, and love will come by itself, completely unexpectedly; you will be greatly surprised that, thanks to physiology, you open the veil of meditation. Don't worry about the frantic woman going crazy. She must go crazy, because her whole body went into a completely different dimension. She cannot continue to control herself, otherwise she will turn into a corpse. Millions of people have sex with corpses.
* Orgasm is a feeling of unity, dissolution in each other, it is a state outside the ego, outside the mind and outside of time. Perhaps this will serve as an impetus for you to start searching for such a path when it will become possible to abandon a man, a partner, drop your mind, stop time and plunge into the joy of orgasm itself. I call this true meditation ... Don't worry, just enjoy the game, let it be fun.
* Sex is so important in a person's life that the ego tried to get rid of it. First of all, remember: sex is a natural phenomenon. Sex is no longer as serious a matter as it was in the past. It has become a joy: two bodies are playing with each other, that's all. Sex is a play of the energies of two bodies. There is no point in trying to get rid of it, although I know there comes a point when it is transcended, but that is a completely different matter. You can't get rid of sex with an effort. If you try to do this, you will become a victim of many perversions.
* My approach to solving all problems is as follows: if there is a problem, you need to dive deeply into it. Then you will either find the treasure, if there is any, or you will find one emptiness there. In both cases, you will be rich. Finding a treasure will naturally make you rich. Finding emptiness will end all of this.
* And it is only through your own experience - not what the buddhas say or what I say - only through your experience will you one day be able to transcend all relationships. One who can be happy alone is a real person. This does not mean that you will not communicate with people. But communicating with people is one thing, and being connected by relationships is another. Addiction is a kind of bondage, communication is an opportunity to share your feelings. You will communicate with many people, you will share your joy with many, but you will not depend on anyone and you will not allow someone to depend on you. You will not be addicted and you will not allow anyone to depend on you. Then your life will be filled with freedom, joy, love.

Marriage.

Why is it so difficult for a man and a woman to maintain friendly relations? It seems so simple, but in fact it turns out to be almost impossible. There is either an unworthy compromise, as between husband and wife, or passion, which eventually turns into hatred. Why is there always something ugly in the relationship between a man and a woman?
* A woman was treated as if she were a land plot or a banknote. It was turned into a thing. Remember: if you treat a person as a thing that has no consciousness, then by this attitude you reduce yourself to the same position; otherwise you would not be able to communicate. If you can communicate with a chair, then you yourself must be a chair.
* Lovers do not deceive each other, they speak the truth, but this truth applies only to the present moment. When lovers say to each other: “I cannot live without you,” they are not lying, they are telling the truth. But they do not know the nature of life. Tomorrow, this same woman will no longer look so attractive. Time passes, and the man and woman feel trapped.
* You ask why friendship is impossible between women and men ... There can be no friendship between a prisoner and a jailer. Friendship is possible only between equal human beings who have completely freed themselves from all chains of society, culture, civilization and live as their hearts tell them. People are not things, they cannot be owned. People are reduced to the level of things, and hence jealousy and hatred.
* When relationships between people are based on financial gain, then there is no need to talk about love. A woman depends on you because you make a living. For centuries, men did not allow women to receive education, participate in business, work, for a simple reason: if a woman has her own financial status, a bank account, then she cannot be compared to things. She needs to depend on you. Do you think that someone who depends on you will love you?
* Remember: friendship is so valuable that, regardless of the circumstances, always remain a friend even to your wife, even to your husband, giving complete, absolute freedom to each other. If you give each other complete freedom, then perhaps you will stay together for life and even for eternity, because there will be no need to get rid of each other. In order to know each other, to know as many people as possible, a person needs freedom. Each person is so unique that any comparison is simply irrelevant.
* I never said that marriage destroys love. How can marriage destroy love? Yes, love dies in marriage, but you ruin it, not marriage. Love is destroyed by partners. How can marriage destroy love? It is you who destroy it, for you do not know what love is. You just pretend you know, you just hope you know, imagine you know, but you really have no idea what love is. Love has to be learned, it is the greatest of the arts.
* Imagine that you are in a dance club and someone asks you: "Let's dance." You answer: "I can't." You will not immediately jump into the dance and pretend to be a great dancer. You're just making yourself a jester. You won't look like a dancer. It is necessary to study the art of dance, study plasticity, study movement. You need to train your body to dance.
* You don't become an artist just because you have a canvas, a brush and paints. You don’t undertake to paint pictures. You won't say: "Everything you need is there, so I can paint canvases." You can paint, but you won't become an artist that way. You met a woman - you have a canvas. You immediately turn into a lover - and into an artist, you begin to create. And she starts painting with you. There is no doubt that both of you will turn out to be fools, painted with fools, and in the end you will understand what is happening. But you never knew that love is an art. It is not given from birth, it has nothing to do with the birth itself. This needs to be learned. This is the most subtle art.
* A person is born only with potentialities. Of course you are born with a body; and if you have a body, then you can dance. You can move your body, you can be a dancer, but the art of dancing has to be learned. It takes a lot of practice to learn to dance. But the dance is not so difficult, because you are the only one involved in it.
* Learning to love is much more difficult. This dance already needs a partner. The partner should also know what dance is. Finding common ground is a great art. It is necessary to create harmony between two people ... and two people are two different worlds. When two worlds come closer, there will certainly be a conflict if you do not know the ways to harmony. Love is harmony. And happiness, health, harmony - everything is born from love. Learn to love. Do not rush to tie the knot, learn to love. Become truly loving first.
* What is the main requirement? It consists in the fact that a sincerely loving person is always ready to give his love, without worrying about whether he will be repaid in kind or not. Love always returns, this is the essence of the nature of things.
* The first lesson of love is not to ask for love, but simply to give it. Become a giver. And people do just the opposite. Even when they share love, they always expect equal love in return. It looks like a deal. They don't give love, they don't do it unconditionally. They love on condition. Out of the corner of their eye, they watch: is not the same amount of love returning to them. Very unhappy people ... they don't know the true nature of love. You just have to pour it out and it will return.
* If nothing comes back, then there is no need to worry, because the lover knows that to love is already happiness. If love is mutual - good, in this case, happiness only multiplies. But even if love is not mutual, you are happy simply because you love, you enter into such ecstasy that it becomes indifferent whether it is mutual or not.
* Love has its own inner happiness. This happens when a person loves. There is no need to wait for the result. Just start loving.
* Gradually you will see that more and more love returns to you. Only in love does a person know what love is - only if he loves himself. Just as you can learn to swim only by swimming, you can learn to love only through love.
* People are very unhappy. They are waiting to be loved by someone, then they will love. They remain passive, walled off. They wait passively. Some Cleopatra will come from somewhere, and they will open their heart to her, but by that time they will have completely forgotten how to open it.
* Don't waste a single chance to love. Even walking down the street, you can be loving. You can even love a beggar. You don't have to give him anything, you can at least smile at him. It doesn't cost anything, but it is your smile that will open your heart, make it more alive. Take someone by the hand - friend or stranger. Don't expect love to come to you only when the right person appears. In this case, the right person will never appear. Keep on loving.
* The more you give your love, the more likely it is that such a person will appear - after all, your heart will open, become more alive. An open heart attracts more bees, more loving ones.
* You were raised completely wrong. First, everyone lives with the false idea that they are loving. To become loving, in your opinion, it is enough just to be born. It's not that simple. Yes, there is potential, but this potential needs to be shown and realized. The seed is there, but it needs to turn into a flower.
* You can continue to rush with your seed, but not a single bee will fly to it. Have you ever seen bees fly to seeds? Don't they know that a flower grows from a seed? But they only fly when a flower emerges from the seed. Become a flower, don't remain a seed.
* Two people, if they are unhappy separately, meeting, make each other even more unhappy. This is simple arithmetic. You were unhappy, your wife was unhappy, and you both hope that together you will be happy? This is an arithmetic operation: two plus two equals four. Very simple. This is not the highest mathematics, it is elementary, you can count it on your fingers. Both of you will become unhappy.
* Courtship is another matter entirely. Try not to get caught up in the courtship period. Better to get rid of it before the wedding.
* Divorces exist because marriages are made by mistake and are often forced. Divorces exist because marriages are in a romantic mood.
* Romance is good for a poet, but no one can say that poets are good husbands and wives. On the contrary, poets are mostly bachelors. They fool everyone, but they themselves do not fall for the bait, which is why their romance is so tenacious. They continue to write poetry, beautiful poetry.
* You cannot marry or marry in a poetic mood. Let the prosaic mood come, then you can make a decision. For everyday life is more like prose than poetry. The person must be mature enough. Maturity means that the person is no longer a romantic fool. He is conscious of life, he takes responsibility for his life, he is aware of the problems that may appear in life together. A person accepts all these difficulties, but still decides to connect life with another person. A person does not hope that only heaven and roses await him ahead. He does not harbor illusory hopes, he knows that life is difficult. Life consists of gray everyday life. There will be roses, but there will be many thorns between them.
* If you realize all these problems, but still think that it makes sense to take a chance and connect your life with another person, and not be alone, then get married. Then marriages will never kill love, for this love is realistic.
* Marriage only kills romantic love. And romantic love is what the people call "puppy love". You can't depend on her. You cannot think that this is a power source. It looks like ice cream. Sometimes it can be eaten, but do not become addicted to such love. Life should be more realistic, more prosaic.
* By itself, marriage does not destroy anything. Marriage simply exposes what is hidden inside, it brings it to the surface. If love is hidden in you, if love is inside you, then marriage will reveal it. If love was just a pretense, just a bait, then sooner or later it must disappear. And then your reality appears, your ugly wrong side. Marriage is just an opportunity, because what was supposed to manifest will manifest.
* I am not suggesting that love is destroyed by marriage. It is destroyed by people who do not know how to love. Love dies primarily because it simply does not exist. You were living a dream, and reality is destroying that dream. Otherwise, love would be eternal, it would be a part of the eternal. If you develop, if you have learned art and accept the reality of life and love, then love will grow every day. Marriage has a great opportunity to grow into love.
* Nothing can destroy love. If there is love, then it will grow. But I think most of the time love is missing. You did not understand yourself, it was not love, but something else. Maybe it was falling in love, maybe it was passion. Then it will inevitably be destroyed, for sexual attraction disappears after intimacy with a woman, and only the unknown can attract.
* Having learned the taste of the body of a woman or a man, a person loses sexual interest. If your love was only associated with sexuality, then it will surely disappear.
* Never confuse love with anything else. If it really is love ... What do I mean when I say really love? This means that you suddenly feel happy in the presence of another person, together with him you experience ecstasy, the very presence of this person fills your heart with something ... Your heart begins to sing, you become harmonious. The very presence of this person helps you to be whole. You become more spiritual, more unique, more peaceful. Then it's love.
* Love is not passion, love is not emotion. Love is a deep understanding that the other person complements you, helps you become a complete circle.
* The presence of another person makes you more significant. Love gives freedom to be yourself; it is not possession. Be careful. Don't mistake sex drive for love, otherwise you will be disappointed. Be vigilant. When you feel that you do not need anything except just one presence, when one presence is enough, it means that you love. When you do not ask about anything, when the mere presence of another person is enough, the fact that he is is enough to make you happy ... then you love. When something blooms inside you, thousands of lotus flowers bloom in you ... then you love, you can go through all the difficulties of life. You will be able to overcome all kinds of suffering and vicissitudes of life, and your love will bloom more and more, for all these situations will become life lessons. As you overcome them, your love will grow stronger.
* Love is eternity. If it exists, it will constantly increase. Love has a beginning but no end.

Love.

The definition of love depends on many factors. There are as many types of love as there are people. Love is a hierarchy: from the lowest to the highest, from sex to superconsciousness. There are many steps, many levels of love. It all depends on the person. Those who are at the lowest level and those who are at the top of this hierarchical ladder understand love in completely different ways.
* At the lowest level, love is something like politics, politics of power. If love is tainted by the idea of \u200b\u200bdomination, domination, it becomes politics. It doesn't matter whether you call it politics or not, it remains so. Millions of people know nothing about love, they only know this politics that prevails between husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. This is politics, it all comes down to politics: a person wants to control others.
* The person likes to dominate; love is nothing more than sweetened politics, a bitter pill in a sweet shell. A person speaks of love, but deep within him there is a desire to exploit another. I am not saying that this is done deliberately or deliberately, the person is not yet conscious enough for this. He is unable to do this consciously; everything happens unconsciously, automatically.
* That is why such a strong desire for possession and such strong jealousy have become a part, an inseparable part of human love. This is why love generates more suffering than joy. Ninety-nine percent of love is bitterness; and only one percent is the sweet shell with which a person sweetened his bitterness. But sooner or later, sugar disappears.
* At the very beginning of a relationship, on the days of the honeymoon, a person's feelings are the sweetest. But gradually the sugar shell melts, revealing a bitter reality, and the relationship becomes unpleasant.
* Millions of people have made the decision never to love their own kind again. It is better to love a dog, a cat, a parrot, it is better to love a car, because they can be freely controlled and the object of your love does not seek to dominate you. Everything is simple here, everything is much simpler than with a person.
* People fall in love with horses, dogs, animals, cars, things. Why is this happening? Because love for a person has turned into a continuous hell, an incessant conflict: constant squabbles, constant grabbing each other by the throat.
* This is the lowest form of love. There is nothing wrong with it if you use it as a bridge, as a meditation. If you observe it, if you try to understand it, then in this very understanding a person reaches a higher level, he begins to move upward.
* Only at the highest level, when love ceases to be an addiction, when love is a state of your soul, the lotus fully unfolds, exuding the subtlest aroma, but this happens only at the highest level. At the lowest level, love remains politics. At the very top, love is a religious state of consciousness.
* Everyone has their own concept of love. And only when a person comes to such a state when all ideas about love disappear, when love is no longer an idea, but a state of the soul, only then will he know its freedom. Then love becomes God. Then love becomes the ultimate truth.
* Let love run through meditation. Watch her: watch the intricacies of your mind, watch the politics of power. Nothing but constant observation will help. When you say something to your man or your woman, observe: what subconscious motive is hidden here? Why are you saying this? Is there a motive? What is it? Become aware of this motive, extract it to the level of consciousness, for this is one of the secrets of the transformation of your life: everything that becomes conscious disappears.
* Your motives remain unconscious, which is why you cannot get rid of them. Become aware of them, bring them to the surface and they will disappear. When you pull up a tree and leave the roots in the sun, it dies, for the root can only live in the darkness of the soil. Your motives also live in the darkness of the subconscious. This means that there is only one way to transform your love: to pull all unconscious motives to the level of consciousness. Gradually, these motivations will disappear.
* When love is unmotivated, unconditional, it becomes the greatest event in the life of any person. Then love is akin to something higher, beyond. Hence, love can become the door to heaven. You can start to love a certain person, and end with vague love, love for everyone. A person becomes like a window open to the endless sky. But one must realize absolutely clearly that the ego must be sacrificed to love.
* People want love, but at the same time they cling to their ego. Therefore, love never becomes reality for them. People are born and die without ever having tasted the nectar of love. And if a person has never loved, then he, in fact, did not live. He missed the point.
* The main delusion, typical for all people: their love is always directed to someone, addressed to someone, but when love is intended for someone, it dies. It's like you're saying, "I will breathe only for you, and if you are not there, how can I breathe without you?" Love can be compared to breathing. Love can only be a human quality; and wherever you are, whoever you are with, even if you are all alone, love constantly overwhelms you. The task is not to love someone, the task is to become love yourself.
* People are not disappointed in their experience of love because there is something wrong with love itself. They constrict love to a tiny drop, so that the ocean of love cannot stay there. It is impossible to contain the ocean, it is not a small stream. Love is your whole being, love is your whole Divinity.
* You need to ask yourself if you love yourself. The question about the object of love does not arise. When you are with your wife, you love your wife; when you are with children, you love your children; when you are with servants, you love servants; when you are with friends, you love friends; when you are with trees, you love trees; when you are with the ocean, you love the ocean. You are love.
* Love does not need an object, love is the radiation of your essence, the radiation of your soul. The more radiation, the more the soul. The wider the wings of your love, the larger the sky of your soul.

Privacy.

We are born alone, live alone and die alone. Solitude is the very essence of our being, but we are not aware of it. Since we are not aware of this, we remain strangers to ourselves; and instead of accepting our solitude as amazing beauty and bliss, silence and peace as unity with life, we misunderstand it as loneliness.
* Loneliness is often confused with solitude. If you mix these two concepts, then the whole content changes. Solitude brings beauty and splendor, and loneliness - poverty, darkness, despondency; the first is positive, the second is negative.
* Everyone seeks to escape from loneliness. Loneliness is like a wound; it hurts. It can only be avoided in one way: become part of the crowd, become part of society, start a family, have a husband or wife, have children. In this crowd, a person gains the opportunity to forget about his loneliness.
* But no one has yet managed to escape loneliness. You can try to ignore what is natural for a person, but it is impossible to forget it, it will constantly remind of itself. The problem only gets worse, because you have never seen loneliness as it is; it has always been a matter of course for you that man is born to be alone.
* Loneliness is an abyss, a gap. Something is missing, something needs to be filled, but it is impossible to fill it, primarily because there is a misunderstanding. The gap widens with age. People are afraid to be alone with themselves, doing all sorts of stupid things. Everyone wants to be busy with something. This employment may be related to people, it may be related to work ... There are workaholics among us, they are afraid of the coming weekend, they do not know what to do. When they do nothing, they are left alone with themselves, and this is unbearable for them.
* All this ebullient activity pursues only one goal: not to be alone, it is very scary. And this thought is borrowed from others. Who told you that being alone is a terrible state? Listen to those who have known solitude; their opinion is completely opposite. They will answer that there is nothing more beautiful, nothing more soothing, nothing more fun than just being alone.
* But you listen to the crowd. People living in misunderstanding are the majority, so nobody cares about some Zarathustra or Gautama Buddha. These singular personalities can be wrong, they can hallucinate, they can deceive or deceive others, but millions cannot be wrong. And millions will confirm that there is nothing more terrible in life than being alone with yourself; this is hell.
* Any action generated by fear, horror to remain alone with oneself cannot bring satisfaction. The root itself is poisoned. You do not love your woman, you use her in order not to be lonely. And she doesn't love you. She suffers from the same paranoia, she uses you to not be alone.
* Of course, in the name of love, anything can happen except love itself. There may be fights, there may be arguments, but even they are better than loneliness: at least there is someone nearby, you are busy, you can forget about your loneliness. But love in this case is impossible, for there is no foundation of it.
* Love never grows out of fear.
* An ordinary person tries to avoid loneliness, while the meditator is more and more immersed in his solitude. Previously, the latter had to leave the everyday world, he lived in caves, in the mountains, forests only to be alone. He wants to know who he really is. You don't recognize this in the crowd - there are too many obstacles. The one who has known solitude has known the greatest blessing of all that are only available to man, for his very existence is already blissful.
* Having learned to stay in solitude harmoniously, you will be able to communicate, and your relationships with people will bring you great satisfaction, because they will not be based on fear. Having found your solitude, you can begin to engage in creativity, you can take part in whatever you want, because such participation will no longer be an escape from yourself. Now it is a way of your self-expression, a manifestation of your full potential.
* Only such a person can always be blissful, peaceful, silent, regardless of whether he lives alone or in society, whether he is married or not. He lives in dance, in song; his life is flowering, aroma. Whatever he does, he brings his charm to everything.
* But first of all it is necessary to fully cognize solitude. You learned to flee from the crowd. You began to avoid yourself because everyone is avoiding themselves. Each child is born in a crowd and begins to imitate people, repeat their actions. The child finds himself in the same painful situation as the others. He begins to think that this is all life. He will never understand what the essence of real life is.
* I want to remind you, do not confuse two completely different concepts: solitude and loneliness. There is no doubt that loneliness is a disease and solitude is great health. Remember, in order to know the meaning and greatness of life, you need to take a very important step: immerse yourself in solitude. This is your temple, the Lord lives there; and nowhere else to find this temple. Not on the Moon, not on Mars ...
* When you plunge into the very center of your soul, you will not believe your eyes: you kept so much joy, so much bliss, so much love ... and you yourself hid from your treasures. Knowing about these treasures and their inexhaustibility, you can create new relationships, indulge in new types of creativity. You will give people love, not use them. Your love will make them more worthy, you will not drop their respect for themselves. It will be easy for you to guide them in their search for their own treasures. Whatever you do, whatever you do, you will fill everything with your silence, peace, bliss.
Pozdnyakov Vasily Alexandrovich, June 8, 2005

The main problem with love is to mature first. Then you will find a mature partner; then immature people will not attract you at all. This is exactly what happens.

A mature person has enough integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives it without any secret threads attached to it - he simply gives. When a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you received it, not vice versa. He doesn't expect you to be grateful for it - no, not at all, he doesn't even need your gratitude. He thanks you for accepting his love.

And when two mature people love each other, one of the greatest paradoxes of life occurs, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together, but at the same time, they are immensely alone.

They are together so much that they are almost one whole, but their unity does not destroy individuality - in fact, it increases it, they become more individual. Two mature people in love help each other become freer. There is no politics, no diplomacy, no attempts to subjugate another. How can you try to subdue the person you love?

You would like to see this person completely free, independent; you would like to give him more personality. That is why I call it a great paradox: they are together so much that they almost merged into one, but still, in this unity, they remain individuals. Their personalities don't mix - they are amplified. The other is enriching in terms of freedom.

Relationships as such, real or imagined, are a very subtle kind of psychological bondage. Either you enslave the other, or you yourself become enslaved.

Another thing to note is that you cannot enslave anyone without becoming enslaved yourself. Slavery is a double-edged sword. Someone may be stronger, some may be weaker, but in all relationships you become a prisoner, and the other becomes a jailer. On his part, he is a prisoner, and you are a jailer.

The reason for the appearance of marriage is the fear that tomorrow, perhaps, your beloved or your beloved will leave you, so you conclude a contract before society and before the law. But this is disgusting, completely disgusting, disgusting. To conclude love in a contract means to put a law over love, that is, to impose fetters on your individuality and to accept the support of the court, army, police, justice, in order to make your slavery absolutely certain and reliable.

Marriage itself is prostitution. If I trust my beloved, why should I marry her? The very idea of \u200b\u200bmarriage is distrust.

Karl Max had the correct idea that there would be no marriages under communism. And when the revolution took place in Russia, in the first four or five years, Russian communists tried to make love free. But then they became aware of practical difficulties that Marx did not understand - he had only ideas. And the biggest difficulty was that if there is no marriage, then the family disappears; and the family is the foundation, the backbone of a society, a nation. If the family disappears, then the nation cannot continue.

I don’t want a family to exist, I don’t want a nation to exist - I don’t want the world to be divided into parts. I want the world to be made up of free individuals, living in love, living in silence, playfulness, without any judgment of pleasure, without any fear of hell, and without any desire for heaven - because we can create heaven here.

osho

. Love is a fresh breeze. Do not think that love should be eternal, then your love life will become more perfect - because you will know that today you are together, and tomorrow, you may have to part. Love comes like a breath of a fresh, fragrant breeze that has flown into your home. It fills it with freshness and fragrance, stays in it as long as Being allows, and then flies away. Don't try to lock all the doors, or the fresh breeze turns into stale air.

Love is the only religion, the only God, the only mystery to be lived and understood. If you have understood love, you have understood all the sages and all mystics of the world. It's not difficult at all. It's as easy as your heartbeat or breathing.

Love grows only in love. Love needs an atmosphere of love.

People think they can love only when they find a worthy partner. Nonsense! You will never find him.

For love to flow and grow, no perfection is needed. A person who is in love simply loves.

People who demand perfection are neurotic people, devoid of love. They demand perfection from a loved one, and such demands destroy love. As soon as a man falls in love with a woman or a woman with a man, some claims immediately arise. A woman, only on the basis that a man loves her, begins to demand that he become ideal. Or he will have to become a superman, or turn into a pretender, a hypocrite, a rogue. Of course, since it is extremely difficult to become superhuman, people begin to cheat. In the name of love, people just play games. Never Demand Perfection ... You have no right to demand anything from other people. If someone loves you, be grateful, but do not demand anything, because this person is not obliged to love you. If someone is in love, it's a miracle. Look not at him with awe. If you love a person, do not demand anything from him. Don't expect anything. If something comes to you, be grateful. If nothing comes, then it does not need to come, it is not necessary.

. Stop thinking about how to get love and start giving. By giving, you receive. There is no other way.

Becoming an individual is the first thing. Second: Don't expect perfection, don't ask and don't demand. Love ordinary people. Every person is unique. Respect this uniqueness. Third: give, and do it without any conditions, then you will know what love is.

Love only happens when you give up. When you force the other person to surrender, it is disgusting, it destroys.

The age of 21 to 28 is the time when a man and a woman can stop. They can choose a partner. And now they are able to make a choice - through the experience of the previous two periods of growing up, they can choose the right partner. Nobody else can do it for you. Something like intuition turns on here - neither arithmetic, nor astrologers, nor palmistry, nor I Ching are enough. This is an inspiration. You communicated with many, very many people, and suddenly something clicks in you, something happens that has never happened to anyone else. And it clicks so accurately, so definitely, that you don't have the slightest doubt. Even if you try to doubt, you cannot, this confidence is so great. After this click, you stop.

How to embark on the path leading to love? Become more alert to your actions, your relationships, your actions. Even when you're doing something completely mediocre - say, just walking down the street - try to become alert. Try to walk with full awareness ... radiate awareness ... let more and more moments of your life be illuminated with the light of awareness.

. It's not what you're doing, it's how you do it.

Everything in life is subject to change - and that is beautiful; so you gain more and more experience, more and more awareness, more and more maturity .... There is nothing eternal in life ... flowers bloom in the morning, and by evening they wither. Life is a constant change; everything changes, moves. There is nothing static, nothing eternal. You were taught to believe in eternal love, and it will break your life.

HIS interest in women is a guarantee that he will be interested in YOU too, that your love still has a chance to survive for many years.

To make life easier and more fun, you have to be flexible. You must remember that freedom is the highest value and if love doesn't give you freedom then it isn't love .

You must learn to love. And when a man is loved, he becomes more polite, more courteous, turns into a gentleman. It gets rid of sharp corners, it becomes softer. Through love, a woman blooms; otherwise, it remains an unblown bud. Only in love, when the sun of love rises, does it open its petals. Only when she loves, a different depth, a different radiance appears in her eyes; her face takes on a joyful expression. Through love, she goes through a deep transformation, reaches maturity.

All these conventions make you play a disgusting game: when a man starts courting you, you run away - which, of course, makes him stalk you. And you like that he runs after you. All women love it. This is disgusting, and you do not realize what is behind it. This means that you are a victim; the man is a hunter and he chases game. You unconsciously give superiority to a man.

Never tell anyone that love is a duty. This is not true. Debt is an artificial substitute for love.

The difference between lust and love. Driven by lust, you use the other person to satisfy your desires. You just use it, and once you reach your goal, you can kick this person out. You don't need it anymore, it has fulfilled its function. This is the most immoral act in the world: using a person as a means. Love is the exact opposite: you respect the person as such. When you love someone as they are, there is no heartache; through love you are enriched. Love makes everyone rich. Secondly, love can be real only if there is no ego behind it, otherwise it becomes its manifestation. Then it turns into a method of hidden suppression.

Love can be sacrificed for freedom, but freedom cannot be sacrificed for love.

. Love in its purest form is when you share joy ... Love asks for nothing in return, it expects nothing; how can you feel pain? When you don't wait, you cannot be hurt. Then everything that comes is good, and if nothing comes, that is also good. Your joy was in giving, not in receiving. Then a person can love even over a distance of a thousand miles; not even a physical presence is needed.

Love is a spiritual phenomenon, lust is material. Ego is a psychological phenomenon, love is spiritual.

Fear is never love, and love is never afraid. There is nothing to lose for love. Why should love be afraid? Love only bestows. This is not a business transaction, so there is no profit or loss involved. Love loves to give away as flowers loves to exude their scent. Fear and love never coexist, they are not capable of it. No coexistence is possible. Fear is the opposite of love. People usually think that the opposite of love is hate. This is wrong, completely wrong. The opposite of love is fear. Hatred is love that has stood on its head; it is a headstand, but not the opposite of love. The hateful person simply shows that deep down he still loves. Love has faded, but still not dead.

If two people are able to live their whole lives in love, no one will bother them. No marriage is needed for this, just as no divorce is needed. Love should be the highest act of freedom.
But you have been told for thousands of years that "if you truly love, your love must be eternal." I didn’t notice that anything in life existed forever. Love is no exception. Therefore, do not hope that she will always be with you. This will make your life more beautiful, because you will know that today you are together, and tomorrow you may have to part. Love comes like a breath of a fresh, fragrant breeze that has flown into your home. It fills it with freshness and fragrance, stays in it as long as Being allows, and then flies away. Don't try to lock all the doors, or the fresh breeze turns into stale air.

People think that excitement and joy are the same thing. Excitement is a kind of drunkenness; it captures you, you plunge into it with your head. Plunging into this state, you forget about your worries, problems and worries. It resembles alcoholic intoxication: you forget about your problems, you forget about yourself, and even if for a moment, you find yourself far, very far from yourself. This is the essence of excitement: you are no longer within yourself, you are outside; you ran away from yourself. No excitement can last forever. .. True love begins when the honeymoon ends ... Ka it is wonderful to just be close to a person, when you are not overwhelmed by excitement, when, enveloped in silence, you do not move, do not utter a word. You are just together, you two have one space, one creature, merged together , you don't think about what to do and what to say, where to go and how to have fun. All this is already in the past. The storm subsided, silence fell.

If both partners realize that their meeting is a meeting of opposites, that there is no need to arrange a conflict because of this, then there is a good opportunity to understand the opposite point of view and perceive it.

However, most couples do not practice meditation. It does not happen that they spend an entire hour together, in silence, just touching each other's consciousness. They either quarrel or make love, but in both cases, communication occurs at the level of bodies, physical contact, biology, hormones. They do not touch the hidden depths of another person's being. Their souls remain divided.

A man and a woman are two halves of one whole. Therefore, do not waste time on empty quarrels, instead try to understand each other. Try to put yourself in the place of another; try to look at the world through the eyes of a man, try to look at the world through the eyes of a woman. Four eyes are always better than two. Then you have a full view, all four directions are open to you.

Loneliness and solitude are different states. To be in seclusion is to feel complete. You don't need anyone, you are self-sufficient. It happens in love. Lovers find themselves alone - through love you come into contact with your inner integrity. Love makes you complete. Lovers merge into one, but this is not their need, they are simply overflowing with energy.

. Loneliness - this is sadness; the state when you are alone, solitude, sadness is not characteristic. Loneliness is a feeling of incompleteness. You need someone, but he's not around. Loneliness is impenetrable darkness, in which not a single light flickers. The house is in darkness. He is still waiting and waiting for people to enter and light a candle.

When a person is completely free, such freedom makes giving possible. Then he gives a lot, but not because it is so necessary; he gives a lot, but not because he expects to get something in return. He gives a lot because he has a lot. He gives because he likes it.

Love recognizes freedom - and not only recognizes, but also enhances it. And everything that destroys freedom has nothing to do with love. Perhaps this is something else. Love and freedom go hand in hand, these are two wings of the same bird. If you notice that your love is in conflict with freedom, then, under the guise of talking about love, you are busy with something else.

Decomposing, love turns into possessiveness, jealousy, struggle for power, politics, domination, manipulation - it takes on a thousand different guises, one more ugly than the other. When love soars up into the open skies, this is freedom, absolute freedom.

Love unconditionally - don't ask for anything in return

. You need to love, but not out of necessity, your love should be a gift. Love, but don't expect anything - give it back. Love, but remember: your love should not become a prison cell for your loved one. Love, but be very careful; you are in a sacred place. You enter the most important, cleanest and most holy temple. Be vigilant! Leave all the dirt outside the temple threshold. Having fallen in love with a person, love him as if he were the Divine and no less. Never love a woman as a woman, and a man as a man, because in this case your love will be completely ordinary. Such love will be just lust. If you love a woman as a woman, your love will not reach heights. Love a woman like a goddess, then love turns into worship.

Loneliness is a state when you are not happy with yourself, you are bored with yourself, you are tired of yourself and you want to escape somewhere, to forget yourself in the company of other people. Solitude is when you feel delight just from yourself. You are happy to be yourself. You don't have to go anywhere. The need has disappeared, you have become self-sufficient. But now something new is being born in you. There is so much in you that you cannot contain it. You have to share, you have to give. And you will be grateful to everyone who accepts your gift.

There are two kinds of love. One is love that happens to a single person. Then it is a need, you strive for another. A different kind of love arises when you don't feel lonely. On the contrary, you are alone. In the first case, you seek to receive; in the second case, you want to give. The giver is the king.

. Love should give you freedom. Never settle for less. Love should make you absolutely free, a vagabond in the vastness of freedom, devoid of any roots. Love is not attachment; attachment is lust.

. Love if it is correct, it makes you meditative. Meditation, if right, makes you loving.

. Love and meditation are the two opposites that form the basis of life.

Hell is created because you hope for heaven.

Quarrels happen because you want agreement on everything.

. Love should be, first of all, friendship, where no one dominates, does not impose his opinion where both are aware that they are different people, that they have a different attitude to life, that they think differently, and yet - despite all the differences - love each other. Then you won't have any problems. We create problems ourselves. Don't try to make someone a superman.

If you love a man or a woman, you want to give that person as much freedom as possible. If love cannot give freedom, then it is not love.

. Love with the strength you can. Never think about what will happen in a minute.

. When you fall in love, you start to show your true face ... Love is a mirror. Another person becomes a mirror. Any novel serves as a mirror.

. Love takes time to mature and needs a close relationship. ... It will take a really long time. This is not a flower - an annual that grows in three to four weeks, and fades in a couple of weeks. This is a long process of convergence. Gradually, two people merge, uniting into one whole, and then they feed each other. You won't get that kind of nourishment from another woman or another man. Your connection can be a little adventure, an affair. But then a feeling suddenly appears in you - and it will definitely appear - that you have had wonderful fun, but this novel has not given you anything. And the person will return.
... Wives tell their husbands: "You have to love me, I am your wife." Strange! Husbands say: “You have to love me. I am your husband, this is my birthright. " Love cannot be demanded. If you are loved, be grateful; if not, wait. Even while waiting, you should not complain about anything, because you have no rights.

If your close relationships are conducive to your growth, if they make you mature, they can be considered positive, helpful, wholesome, healthy. If they act on you destructively, not allowing you to reach maturity, but rather keeping you in childhood, then they are harmful and dangerous. Any relationship that prevents you from becoming an adult is harmful.

Being truthful is the real problem. Authenticity creates real problems. Say what it really is - don't hesitate, don't look around. Look straight in the eyes and be sincere. Help your partner to become sincere too.

You help the other person to throw off all complexes, masks and protective shells. In close relationships, a person sees the real face of another and shows his real face himself. If a relationship helps you find your true identity, then it is meditative, then it is spiritual. If your relationship is just helping you to put on more masks, then it is not religious.

. How does married life begin in some cases? People are silent. They don't say anything. They don't tell the truth at all. They pretend and lie. They smile when they don't want to smile, kiss when they don't want to kiss. Of course, if you kiss against your will, your kiss becomes poisonous. Of course, if you don’t want to smile, but you have to, your smile looks ugly, this is solid politics. But then a person gets used to all this, resigning himself to falsehood and to the fact that he is living a fake life. He finds a thousand different consolations for himself.

. Remember, the criterion is this: if you grow, turning into a person, if more and more life happens to you, if you become more open, if you see more and more beauty in the world around you, if poetry is born in your heart, if you radiate more and more love, compassion, if you become more conscious, then everything is in order in your relationship. Keep up the good work. Then it's not a marriage. It's closeness. But if something opposite happens: if poetry disappears and life becomes prosaic, if love leaves and life turns into a burden, a heavy burden, if all the songs have died, and you live in obedience to a sense of duty, then it is better to escape from this prison. Better for you and better for the person you live with.

Many have misunderstood me. They think I am urging: "Change your partners as quickly and often as possible." I don’t say that. I'm talking about that keep the relationship as long as you are united by love. As soon as you both feel that she is a thing of the past, that she is no more ... You can pull a little more, but by doing so you will deceive each other. Cheating on a man you loved is disgusting; cheating on the woman you loved is disgusting. Better to be honest and say: "It's time for us to leave, because love is gone and we cannot return it."
There are things that come and go on their own. When you fell in love, it was not you - you did not make the decision to fall in love. It happened suddenly, you could not explain the reason why it happened. The only thing you can say is, "I felt like I fell in love." Just remember the first meeting, remember. How love came to you - in the same way it leaves.
You will wake up one morning and suddenly you will feel that love is no more. There is a husband, there is you, but the bridge that ran between you has disappeared, the continuous flow of energy has dried up. There are two of you, but you are one, and he is one. The feeling that you are "together" disappeared and that secret that kept you close is beyond your control. You cannot force that feeling back.

. Love decides everything by itself. It's good if she stays for a long time. If it only lasts a few moments, that's great too, because love is good ... Its duration does not matter. In a few moments, you can experience a stronger love than you will experience in several years. And thanks to such a strong feeling, you will touch something unknown, something that simply turns pale over the years. So the timing doesn't matter, the only thing worth thinking about is depth, intensity.
Once you fall in love, completely immerse yourself in this feeling. And when it's gone, say goodbye to him and be done with it. Don't let these thoughts occupy your mind. There are many strangers in the world - who knows? Love left you so that you could find a better stranger.
Life is strangely arranged. Trust her. You can meet a person with whom you will have great love, and you will understand that your previous feeling is nothing compared to this. And remember: one day this great love may also disappear. Trust in a life that has given you gifts over and over again without ever asking for it. Be open, available.
There are so many wonderful people in the world; there is no shortage of them. And in every person there is some kind of originality, something that no one else has. Each person brings his own unique colors, poetry, melody to his love.
Trust life - this is my main idea. Trust life, because we are born of it, we are children of life.
Trust life. Life has never betrayed. Perhaps you have finished one class, you should move on to another, rise to a new level, to a more refined love, a more sublime - who knows? Just keep your heart open and life never deceives anyone.

. Only the one who is able to be alone, endowed with the ability to love, to give, to penetrate into the very depths of another person's being - without taking possession of him, without becoming attached to him, without turning him into a thing and without falling into dependence on him. Such people give the other complete freedom, because they know that if he leaves, they will be as happy as with him. Another cannot make them unhappy, because they have not received their happiness from the outside.

The love of real people is a luxury, not a need. They like to give: they have so much joy in them that they want to pour it out on another.

Love is born with you; this property is inherent in you initially. All that is needed is to give her a way, create a channel for her, release her, let her happen.

. The more you give, the more you possess. The less you give, the less you have. If you don’t give at all, you will also lose those qualities that are inherent in you by nature.

By giving you gain.

Love is not a relationship. Love manifests itself in relation to someone, but it is not a relationship .... The word “relationship” means something complete. Love is never a relationship. Love is a process.

If you enjoy being around a person, you will want to enjoy this sensation over and over.

It is impossible to recognize another person, he remains a secret. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful towards him.

This is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness.

And if you establish a new contact every time, without reducing it to "relationships", the other becomes a mirror for you. By studying another person, you will gradually get to know yourself. Plunging deeper into another, recognizing his feelings, thoughts, his deep feelings, you will reveal for yourself what is hidden in the recesses of your soul. Lovers become mirrors to each other, and then love turns into meditation.

To love is good, it is a great virtue. If you can't love one person, it's better to let your love pour out on someone else. But do not get hung up, otherwise you will suffer and make your partner suffer. Both of you will suffer. The problem is that if you suffer long enough, you get used to your suffering. Then you begin to experience a kind of pleasure from the suffering itself ... Never, even for a moment, linger in a state of suffering.

It is believed that if everyone begins to tell the truth, there will be no friendship on Earth, all friendly relations will disintegrate: there will be no lovers, no friends, no marriages - nothing. It all just disappears. Relationships between people will be reduced to casual meetings, any communication will be limited to short, fleeting contacts.

. When you love a person, you love everything that can happen between you. The possibilities are endless, and you love all their shades and nuances.

. Love is possible only when a person is free to be himself , without any conditions and restrictions.

If you truly love yourself, if you immerse yourself in the depths of your being, you will be ready to love even more - after all, someone who does not know himself is not capable of deep love.

Love is a state of mind ... and it is possible only when you penetrate deep into your being, when you begin to love yourself.

. If you are unhappy being alone, how can you be happy with another person?

Better to break up and be real than to pretend to be together; for then your relationship will not bring you any joy.

Compassion is not love, and if someone sympathizes with you, be careful! ... True love does not sympathize. True love empathizes.

A good relationship is giving, there is no dependence ... I have so many things, so I share with you.

Love does 2 things: first, it deprives you of the ego, then it gives you a center. Love is a great sacrament.

The more you love, the more love you become.

Exists three kinds of love.
First love is object oriented. (Love "I-this".) Love has an object. This is common love known as eros. This is lust. The other is perceived as a thing. The other is likened to the thing that you must take possession of.
The second love looks like this: the object is not important, your subjective feeling is important. You love and you bring your love as a gift. You love even when you're alone. Love gives scent to your being. If you truly love a woman or a man, your first gift will be freedom. When a person reaches this level - when you love the whole of existence in all its manifestations, such love becomes unconditional. Then it turns into prayer, it becomes meditation. The second kind of love is "I-you". The other is a person. You have respect for him.
In love # 3, the object and the subject disappear. One is just love. There is only love, you are not. One is just love. This is not an action, but a property, a deep state. At the third level, you just turn into love. From now on, you can always love, your love becomes endless.

Everyone talks about truth, everyone talks about love, but they are rarely found anywhere. Sex is everywhere. So what is the powerful attraction of sex? What is this natural attraction for?

There are definitely a few mysterious, mystical moments in this. First, the desire for sex, inherent in the very foundation of the human being, is not really the desire for sex. Sexual yearning, which comes from the very essence of human nature, is not really sexual desire. This is why people often feel unhappy and depressed after intercourse; people tend to get free from sex simply because they find nothing in it.

Perhaps this yearning is a craving for something else. Perhaps this craving has the deepest religious significance. And it consists in the fact that people are able to comprehend the depth of their being only through sex. In ordinary life, they gain a variety of experiences, they go to shops, do business, earn money, but only the experience of sexual intercourse gives them the key to the very depths of the human being. And down there, two things happen to them.

First, at the moment of orgasm the ego disappears, it is no longer there. For a moment the ego dissolves, within a few seconds not a trace of the human "I" remains. Did you know that in the ultimate religious experience the "I" also disappears completely? That true religion also dissolves the ego?

Second, time disappears in sex. Timelessness arises. There is no time in the experience of an enlightened person. The enlightened one goes beyond it. There is no past, no future, only the present. This is the second thing that happens during sex - there is no past, no future, for a moment time disappears.

These two phenomena are the two most important components of religious experience: egolessness and timelessness. But why are we so eager for this? Because the soul appears only when the ego leaves, and the divine penetrates into us only when time dissolves. Spiritual experience is at the core of sexual attraction. If we are aware of this, then we can go beyond sex. If not, then we will remain at the level of sex, and so will die, having cognized only a small part of the great energy.

Lightning flashes in the phenomenon of sex, but its nature goes beyond sex. If we can grasp the experience coming from the transcendental, then we can rise above sex, and only this way and not otherwise.

Those who blindly oppose sex will never be able to go beyond it. They will not be able to understand why we have been given this elusive desire, this burning inner desire.

I want to emphasize that a periodic strong desire for sex is a craving for what the superconsciousness gives us. And you can free yourself from sex the moment you begin to experience the state of samadhi or out-of-mind without sex. From this day on you will be free from sex.

If a person who receives a short experience of samadhi through great efforts is shown a place where the same experience can be obtained in abundance and "free", then he will no longer be able to return back to where there is only a little bit and for great merits. Unless he's crazy, of course. When you can get what you experience in sex by other means, you will automatically stop chasing it, you will start thinking in a different direction.

Because our society is hungry for love, we create marriages based on romantic love. Sex cannot be the basis for marriage, because sex is play, fun. If you marry someone just for sex, you will soon be disappointed because the fun will end, the newness will disappear and the unbearable boredom will set in. Marriage is for deep friendship, for deep intimacy. Love, of course, is implied, but this is not the only thing worth getting married or getting married for. Marriage is made for spirituality! He must be spiritual! There are many things that cannot be done or known alone. Even your personal growth needs someone to be a mirror for you, someone so close that you could open up completely to him.

Marriage is not created for sex. We made it sexy ourselves. Yes, sex is present, but it may not be. Marriage is a spiritual community, and if such a marriage happens, then completely different souls will find their birth, qualitatively different souls. If a child is born through intimacy, then his spiritual side will be stronger. But our marriages are mostly about sex, just an agreement between two people about sex. What can be born through a sexual contract?

Our marriages are either sexual contracts or romantic love.

In fact, romantic love is a disease, and because you cannot love many, your love builds up inside. Then it starts to overwhelm you. And then you find someone to whom you can project your excessive love. And then an ordinary woman turns into a heavenly creature, and a man turns out to be like an angel in the flesh. But when the flood ends and you return to your normal state, it turns out that you have been cruelly deceived - just an ordinary man and a completely ordinary woman.

This romantic fever happens to us because of our monogamous upbringing. In a healthy society, there is love, not romance. And if there is no romance, then marriage is created on a deeper level, it will never disappoint you. If marriage was created not only for love, but rather for intimacy, for a sense of deep community - for the "I-Thou" relationship, for growth not only as "I", but also as "We", then marriage becomes a real school of refusal ego. But we know nothing about such marriages.

Osho "Sex Matters"